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More CPAP Thoughts

Drowsydad makes a good point about possible positives. Following the last adventure at the (No) Sleep Lab I did some research on CPAP and found out a number of interesting points:   1) Your nose and face are supposed to be measured...nostril type/width, nasal depth, length, eye to nose ratio. Masks come in different sizes based on gender and even age - there's even equipment for kids. No one at Jurassic Sleep Lab measured me for fit.   2) Feelings of confinement are quite common even for people without recognized "claustrophobia" present in other situations.   3) Compliance beyond 3 months is poor. Perhaps that's why the machines and masks are so expensive.   4) There are BiPap machines available which drop the level of "push" on exhalation so it doesn't feel like the machine is trying to breath for you.   5) There are alternatives to the full face mask and the nasal octopus:laugh: - like the nasal prong...   I'll try to keep an open mind.
RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

3
 

Meeting with the NUT

...not the one affiliated with my surgeon's practice. Got some concrete instructions, calorie goals and a framework which will hopefully get me moving in the right direction. Still seeking a therapist who specializes in eating disorders and child abuse as I realize that's the true root of my problem.
RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

1
 

Low Level Panic Attack

Today while getting dressed, I bumped the area where I think the port is - won't actually know until Monday's post surgical follow up. Man did that ever hurt. I started thinking about this foreign body inside me and starting thinking weird thoughts like...what if I go nuts and yank this thing out?...what if I freak out and jump in my car and drive to the doctor's and beg to have it removed...I got all sweaty and had to get a drink of ice water and go outside to clear my head. Perhaps it's just a case of sometimes you feel like a nut and sometimes you don't!
RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

2
 

Loathing

How awful is it to absolutely loath a fellow bandster? I really enjoy reading everyone's comments and get a lot of useful info, but there's one community member whose self-satisified, Holier-than-Thou, preachy lectures make me want to scream. That vague school-marmish tone directed at fellow bandsters who've slipped on dietary rules. That "maybe you should question why you have the band" finger wag. What -because you slipped you should get your butt to the doctor and have him take it out because you're just not committed enough?! Everytime I read this bandster's comments I cringe - esp for the person who originally put the question out there looking for positive support and not a smarmy lecture. Even my husband read few of this bandster's posts and had to laugh - his comment is apt - "Get Over Yourself!"!:thumbup:
RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

2
 

Jill's Pity Party

Last night as we sat down to dinner - me with my half cup of mashed potatoes and fat free refried beans and my husband enjoying the salad, grilled squash, baked potato and burgers made, of course, by me, I proceeded to have a pity party. I mentioned to my husband how crazy it is that three years and roughly $50,000 later( Thank God for insurance!) and I'm only 33 pounds lighter than I was on the day of my surgery. On I ranted about the past year of puking, eating less than 1,000 calories a day, of tracking my WW points and almost never eating my daily allowance...   His response - "You need to exercise more!"   Yes - that's the magic bullet...except that in six months of working out at the "Y" with 30-45 minutes of cardio I lost nothing despite restricting my intake. I haven't been working out much as the problems increased - frankly, on the little I was getting down, I needed a nap just to power through my day. Since I wasn't busting it at the gym, you'd think I'd be packing it on, but no, neither gained nor lost.   Don't ya love it when someone who never had a weight problem and can eat whatever lectures you on what you should do? Like the waif nutritionist teaching a recent cancer survivors class I took....all of 23 and just out of school, she advised us all to, "Eat more fiber!", "Exercise More!"   What set this off? I know I weigh less - my clothes tell me that, but catching a glimpse of myself in a full length mirror and I'm the same tug boat I was at 283 - same puffy toad belly, same cankles. Seems that 65 pound lost should look like something!   Looking for the positive - I have less food related guilt. I no longer eat pizza. I don't buy snacks, candy, ice cream. I don't indulge in "binge" behaviors any more, so I don't have the weight of being "bad" on my shoulders. Unfortunately, I think I'm going to have to accept that I did this to myself and will wear this fat mantle until the day I die. Couple this with my mastectomy scarred chest and it's a wonder I ever leave the house!
RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

1
 

It's Working!

Yes! Between my dietary counsel from my NUT and the band, the scale has finally started moving and even with just 4cc in my 11cc band I can sense when I'm full. Was actually able to enjoy a modest meal of Chinese take-out last night. What's working for me is not neccessarily the standard "3 meals - no snacks" approach. My NUT has me on a meal plan structured for me which includes real foods(inc veggies and salad), carbs(limited - not zero) and an 8oz glass of moo juice(skim) half an hour after each meal. I use it to take my vitamins. My NUT gives me lots of reading material the latest being the Journal of the American Dietetic Association - April 2010 edition (Understanding the Impact of Bariatric Surgery). One over reaching theme of everything I've read is that there is no hard and fast rule on post procedure nutrition/meal planning and the ADA is trying to nail down specific recs to be made. That said - this works for me and it feels like it's a good mesh(for now) of proper nutrition, willpower and the band.
RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

0
 

It's Deja Vu All Over Again!

Still hanging at the 216-224 range. It's gotten to the point that I have "rules" that are so bizarre that my husband is pushing me to see my WLS. I don't want to go back for fear I'm going to hear it's my fault I haven't lost more...   Jill's Rules - not really mine, what my body is dictating:   *Can't eat before 10am; thankfully, coffee goes down okay. *Can't get breakfast down(1/4c oatmeal, 1/4c egg sub, 2 slices turkey bacon or yogurt and fruit) in under 45 minutes. *Can't be wearing a bra or anything remotely fitted around my waist - food will not go down. *Can't sit down to eat - three bites and I'm backlogged. *Attempt to sit down to dinner - see above - then run to the bathroom, throw up food plus a nasty looking mucus ball(TMI-I know!) Then - surprise! I can eat..as long as I stand up to do it. *Hungry all the time - and it's not in my head - my stomach growls so loudly my co-workers crack up in meetings. *Obsessed w/chocolate - never was before. It's either because it will go down and gives me instant(temporary) energy or because if the serotonin release. *Vomitting can be triggered by something as small as the thin slice of a radish or a 1/4 tsp size piece of chicken and can go on for hours. *After throwing up, the area around my port seems to puff up. Despite having my haital hernia fixed a surgery, I feel like I have acid reflux.   When I list it all, it does seem a bit ridiculous for me to continue to suffer. I guess I should just be glad that I'm no longer 286 pounds. Healthier with well-controlled blood glucose, but still the biggest gal in the room. Still not taken seriously or talked down to because I'm plus sized. I suppose it's time I just suck it up and accept that this is as good as it's going to get.
RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

3
 

It's a New Dawn, a New Day & a new Me...but not just yet

Getting up and moving around. Folded some laundry and emptied the dish washer, but I'm very light headed and the surgical area is very sore; difficult to bend over. Ellis gave me scripts for Loratab(Liquid), Prilosec and Flexirel(sp) - all of which are sleep inducing. Having a hard time even typing today - I'm signing off and going back to bed!
RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

1
 

Insurance and the Psycho PsyD

Still no adjustment to my claims re; the PsyD I had to pay out-of-pocket, so I called BCBS for a status report. Oops - It was "bumped back" for lack of a service date. "That's odd?", I said - "It's right there in the invoice...". After sending me an email telling me their going to give me full credit toward my deductible for this out-of-pocket payment, now they're telling me that since claims have already been posted and attributed toward my deductible, the PsyD has to submit the claim, reimburse me and wait for the EOB to see what if anything she can bill me. Apparently BCBS left a lengthy message for the PsyD today...a week after I call in the incident. Want to guess how long this is going to take?:smile:
RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

1
 

I'm Kicking Myself

Writing this as I sit on hold as my WLS office attempts to schedule yet another follow up appointment. I've been transfered and disconnected three times, so I've now spent 45 minutes just trying to get an appointment. Guess if you get confused, or tired of dealing with computer hassles - just hang up!   Par for the course, I was not seen by my WLS for yesterday's post-surgical follow up and once again had to go through the whole history again with yet another PA I'd never met. Once we established that I hadn't just had a band placed, the PA went and got a print out of my surgical notes(not in the file!?). What I was told - my band hadn't slipped, but I had a significant hiatel hernia as well as adhesions(scarring). Per my request to save the band, the surgeon repaired the hiatel hernia.   What the PA indicated was missed/wrong in the discharge instructions: - Pain med should've been in liquid form. - Only Rx meds - no vitamins or supplements unless liquid form until swelling subsides(surgeon noted it okay to resume all meds on day after surgery) - A script for Prilosec in liquid form - Instruction to consume only liquids and pureed food until further notice. No greek yogurt - "too thick". - No lifting anything over the weight of a gallon of milk. - Walking is the only exercise allowed for now.   According to the PA, the repair was quite intense, so the symptoms I've been having are not surprising. Still have abdominal swelling which may take several more weeks to heal. The lump at the base of my throat is from the two tubes inserted during surgery. The cough,reflux and restriction are also a result of surgical irritation, but if I'd been given the Rx for Prilosec, should be significantly less. It may take up to six weeks to see if this corrects the problem.   In the meantime, I've been told I'm not eating enough, so I need to push protein shakes. First and only time I've heard that I should work in some ice cream!   So now we again start with the every 7 - 10 day follow up $400 appointments regardless of the fact I'm not getting a fill. That hour and a half roundtrip drive along with juggling a work schedule that doesn't have much flexibility - super!   I'm kicking myself for having the band left in. It's a tool. It works great for a lot of people - no "hate" here, but for me, the quality of life has dwindled. This is the second hiatel hernia repair. The three years the band has been in have resulted in significant internal scarring, an inability to eat normally, declining social life, endless testing, medicines, embarassing situations, costly co-pays...
RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

2
 

I'm Beat...

Back to the WLS for the next installment of Jill's endless problems with the band.   My appointment was scheduled for 1:00pm and it's about an hour drive. As usual, but for coffee, there isn't any thing I'm going to get down before 10:00am at the earliest. So I planned to just skip eating as it takes me 40+ minutes to work down a Yoplait and some oatmeal. Around 11:00am my husband asked me if I'd make him a sandwich. While making said sandwich I ate one single slice of deli ham and was immediately blocked. Didn't feel like I was going to throw up, it was just 'there'...until I got in the car. About half way to the doctor's office I started sliming and feeling like maybe I should pull over but I made it, checked in, went to the restroom and got sick. All it produced was a tiny piece of ham. Still felt blocked an hour later leaving the doctor's office and ended up throwing up over and over in my car on I-87. Thank God I have a plastic waste basket in my car. Now that's ironic considering I'd made it for a whole week without an episode and once again convinced myself it must just be in my head!   What did the WLS have to say? It's gotta come out. While it's comforting to know the band failed me and not the other way around, having my WLS announce that I need to start planning my revision surgery pronto because he "knows" most patients who have their band removed, "blow up" just adds to the anxiety. So much for the band allowing me to finally stop focusing on food, my weight etc. Let's stir in the fact that I've got to try to find the time before the end of the year it get this done for fear that with the onslaught of Obama-Care I won't have coverage.   It funny how I didn't really notice what poor nutrition does as prior to the attempted repair surgery the problems had slowly built up. I'm a pretty busy person and had just chalked up being tired to my schedule, menopause etc. In the month where I was able to eat more normally and a wider range of foods, I had more energy, got more done and didn't need to nap everyday just to get up the energy to finish chores. Not to sound vain, but I had people telling me how well I looked - which I found to be odd - just how bad was I looking!?! My hair was glossy again and my nails grew.   Since the return of the problems my hairbrush looks like a small kitten and my nails are breaking and splitting and once again I'm hearing, "You look tired". And so I am - nap time for Jill!
RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

3
 

I See No Difference

I see no difference when I look in the mirror despite 35 pounds lost. What I do see already looks saggy and I'm wondering if I can afford the plastic surgery I'll need to look normal or if I'll spend the rest of my life never wearing shorts or a swimsuit. I guess I should just be thankful for 3/4 length sleeves and capris - my go to since reach 3X!
RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

1
 

Hello Jelly Roll!?!

My weight is fluxuating between 216 and 222 - feels like I'm circling the drain so to speak. Plugging along with Weight Watchers and working out but having a hard time getting my weight to stablize. Considered going in for a fill, but it seems like I'm stuck at least once a day and vomitting at least once a week. Wish I could say it's consistantly due to the same food violations(pizza, bagels, bread - you know, the "No-No's") but it happened the other morning with my scrambled eggs(couldn't even get them down - my dog loved it though) and I had a fun two hour bout in the bathroom the other night over one stalk of steamed asparagus and less than an ounce of grilled chicken. I can actually eat a slice of thin crust pizza with no problem. Don't really eat bread anymore and forget bagels - but when three mini pretzels cause a problem it gets frustrating. Sometimes I'm afraid to go out to eat for fear that I going to have an incident. Frankly, there are many days when I make my breakfast or lunch and it takes 45 minutes to get it down! Oh well - I keep reminding myself that my weight gain was my own damn fault and now I'm paying the price.   Speaking of prices paid - with the weight loss has come the giant jelly roll which fortunately with the right spanx-type garment I can mostly conceal, but I gotta wonder how much this thing weighs? Oh so much fun to have to buy pants etc to accomedate the "roll' then have to have the waist taken in!   Came home from the gym the other day and notice this sweaty(wet?) semi-circle on the lower abdomen of my yoga pants. Probably TMI, but I'm now getting a permenant red rash and tissue breakdown under the "roll". I'm using baby butt cream and powder in an attempt to keep it dry, but if it's this bad now, what'll it be when(if) I get to my goal weight ...another 75 pounds from now?! Maybe I should just pack the area with paper towel, throw on my gridle and live with it!   Amusingly enough, my insurance will cover the surgery since I had WLS - but if I just lost the weight on my own it wouldn't!?! The plastic surgeons I met with re; my breast reconstruction also consulted on my "tummy tuck" - they suggest that I need to be at or near my goal weight before even considering the latter procedure. Course with a roll this big, maybe they could just pull it up and create some faux boobs!
RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

1
 

Haven't Posted in Ages...

Probably because like everyone else I get tired of talking about food, my procedure, how much I have/haven't lost...especially in light of all the other things I have to do. I need a 36 hour day to stay on top of everything else in my life! I still can't figure out the appeal of Twitter/Facebook/LinkedIn - although I have accounts with all three, it's a major effort for me to check in, update, post. In some ways it feels very high school and it's all the same attention getting, self-serving brown-nosers as way back when - except now they're the jackasses you either work with or deal with professionally OR the people you hoped never to see or hear from again from high school or college knocking on your virtual door to play the old "look at my fabo life" one-ups-manship game. God - and I thought the sorority sister whose Christmas brag letter was over the top was bad!?! Couple that with the need to censor yourself, and the lack of privacy - I'd much rather send a personal email one-on-one than put myself out there. I've read a fair number of posts re; who to tell - yet another reason to keep your social network settings as limited and private as possible - I had someone from one of my support group meetings attempt to "friend" me and frankly, there are some people with access to my professional life who don't need to know my personal business and some people from my past I'd rather maintain a casual(at best) relationship with - i.e., not out crowing to the old hometown crowd, "OMG - did ya know Jill had weight loss surgery!?!?" Makes going home for the holidays even more dreadful!:rolleyes2:
RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

0
 

Group Dynamics

Attended a support group meeting with a friend. There were about 80 people there and not surprising most were quite obese. What got us was when we went around the room with everyone giving their surgery date/weight loss etc and it turned out that most of the people there were a year plus out - and hadn't lost much weight or had reached a plateau. Sadly, the people running the meeting (surgeon's group)had no valuable input to give beyond the same old "60-80grams of Protein!, Exercise!, Eat Less!" Equally troubling - the number of attendees who'd had the procedure yet had no clue about proper nutrition, the presenter when fielding a question from a diabetic patient who commented that because she'd had the procedure she, "couldn't still be a diabetic...next question!..." and the push to go back on Medifast(which they sell - Buy some NOW!) when you reach a plateau. I get more from this site and my NUT - thank God my doctor had the sense to hook me up with the right person!:smile:
RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

2
 

Good Recipe Idea...or not?

Thought of a great way to get my veggies and breakfast out of the way: * 1 cup Low Sodium V8 * 1 pkt Veggie Powder * 2 scoops of Vitamin World Non-Soy Veggie Protein Powder * Horseradish/Worchestershire Sauce to taste   Ta Da! "Veggie Mary"!   Great idea until I added the Vitamin World product...turned gritty with an awful flavor. I've tried this stuff in various hot and cold applications - supposed to be flavorless - WRONG - it is awful regardless. I'm going to try this again tomorrow using Bariatric Eating's "Pure" and see if it's any better.
RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

4
 

Good Read (kinda like "Good Eats")

Just like the band is a tool, I have found another helpful "tool" which helps me slow down my eating habits - Reading! Now, I know you're not supposed to do anything else while eating - like watching TV, but frankly, just how slowly can you consume a protein shake? Sometimes I'm having one while I'm blogging but I've also found that reading an educational book works as well.   I'm currently reading, Secrets of a Former Fat Girl, by Lisa Delaney and Diabesity by Francine R. Kaufman, M.D..   I especially liked this quote from Secrets of a Former Fat Girl as it rang true for me:   "INO(Its Not An Option) was invaluable in helping me overcome my need to please and my talent for rationalizing that putting other people first - just about at all cost - was somehow the noble thing to do....It helped give me the courage to break out of the Fat Girl mold that other people expected me to conform to, and start living my own way."
RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

1
 

Good Info & Good Eats

As anyone who reads my blog can guess, I love to read. Working my way through Before & After by Susan Maria Leach. When you get past some of her waxing poetic about her wonderful life and how magic everything is now that she's lost weight, there's some substantially good info - like how to figure out your protein needs. There are also some great recipes. Someone in my local support group recommended BariatricEating.com which is Ms. Leach's company. I got the book when I ordered some product samples. Here's a shameless plug - the IsoPure Grape Frost is great as is the Believe Italian Cappuccino!
RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

1
 

Going for Broke on the Laugh Track

My 25-year-old niece just called to see how I'm doing. She tells me she expects to see me in a bathing suit this summer. Laughed so hard I almost peed my pants. Really - when you weight 283 at your highest, regardless of how much weight I lose, the end product is a saggy Sharpei in a swimsuit. I may be healthy at the end of this, but I ain't going to be a looker.
RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

3
 

Getting Kicked Out of the Band

Despite another 45 minute wait, I was pleasantly surprised by today's one-on-one with my surgeon - yet another case for the wisdom of reserving judgment on any given situation. Given the vibe that goes around in my own office and the devils that drive us, I'm willing to bet there are plenty of days we come off as a bunch of witches on wheels.   The surgeon spent almost an hour with me reviewing the test results. The verdict? It appears the stomach has mushroomed over the band. Based on the inflammation, it's got to come out. Though my BMI has dropped below what my insurance carrier would tradtionally approve for a revision to a gastric sleeve, my surgeon seems to feel that there's enough to document I've made a good-faith effort and it's the band that failed, not me. Interestingly enough, he told me that his practice is taking out as many bands as they're putting in, and not as many people are getting them in the first place.   So now I have to decide if I'm just going to have it out or if I'm going to also have revision surgery done at the same time. My husband just wants it gone. He's tired of eating dinner alone and that our friends never invite us out to dinner for fear I'll be uncomfortable or worse. We haven't gone out for dinner in over a year. I dread the required business lunches, charity events involving a meal - even a recent girls' night out for drinks took a turn for the worse when the girls I was with ordered dinner. I wasn't offended and they know it doesn't bother me when they nosh. It was the server who made my life hell. Let's face it - I'm not some waif, so apparently when I declined to order anything she felt the need to comment each time she came to our table..."Sure you're not hungry? You look like you've got a good appetite". When I finally caved and ordered a small appetizer of soft potato puffs even that wasn't enough for her..."Is that all you're going to eat?!". When I couldn't finish it and declined a to-go box, it was..."You barely touched this? Didn't like it?".   I feel like I've had enough surgeries to last a life time but I don't want the weight I lost to come back and I don't want to spend the rest of my life avoiding cameras and feeling like a small tug boat entering a room. I am afraid of complications for a non-reversable procedure and wonder if I just need to accept that at almost 50, my ship has sailed. I'll never be young again. I was pretty for about 15 minutes when I was 23. I wasted my 30's and 40's being obese. It seems like a waste of time to attempt another surgery that may not make any difference just as it seems ridiculous for me to bother having breast reconstruction - I'd need a full body re-do to actually look good.   My husband's vote is to just have it out and then commit to "trying harder and working out more" - Gee, if it were that easy would any of us on this site even be here?   So - anyone out there gone from the band to nothing and maintained &/or continued to lose? Anyone gone from band to sleeve? Good? Bad? I want to hear about it!
RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

3
 

Getting in the Pre Op Diet Groove

I've been struggling since my Pre-Op MediFast start date of 2/1... The first three days I dropped three pounds but by that weekend I was covered in hives and running to the bathroom. Soy allergy. Between the cringe worthy beef broth and the awful tasting MediFast I lapse into - No, not non-nutrious eating - but eating real(GASP) foods. Back came the three pounds. Now I'm using Jillian Michaels' Whey Powder(same counts as Medifast, trace soy, taste is passable) and it seems to be clicking. Switched to "Kitchen Basics" Veg Broth - acceptable and am sticking to the plan. Oddly enough, I feel okay and actually feel like I have more energy. My poor husband is trying to eat what I do for dinner(except more) - tonight's fare (salmon,steamed broccoli and a cup of lettuce) didn't do it for him. Do we have any frozen pizza in basement freezer?!:confused:
RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

1
 

Full Liquids Start Today

Not hungry, but had to start on full liquids today, so I made a yogurt shake w/protein powder and skim milk; managed to down 1 cup. Still not hungry. Largely off the Loratab but the other drugs are a must and they make me quite dizzy. Unfortunately, the nutritionist neglected to tell me how often to eat(every 2, 3, 4 hours? When hungry?) and how much? All I got was, "take in 1000 calories and 65 grams protein a day". Still trying to figure out how I'm going to manage to get the right balance of fruits & veggies in when I'm on real food.
RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

1
 

From the Rooter to the Tooter

Instructions from the surgeon's office, "Take 2 Tablespoons of Milk of Magnesia and a Fleet Enema at 7pm the day before surgery". Beyond the concept of giving myself an enema:crying:, isn't the MOM suppose to send it out the door and the Fleet to sweep the remnants away? Figuring that these two events weren't going to happen immediately and knowing my body, I did a test run this weekend - of the MOM not the Fleet. It took 4 hours for the MOM to kick in and then I was in the bathroom 11 times over the next 7 hours. I checked with my PCP - thankfully he told me to back up the MOM dosage and wait until I was "all clear" before part two.
RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

1
 

Five Days to Go

All the pre-approvals, testing and clearances are done. I've been running around getting the pantry stocked, bills paid, post-surgical dietary needs stocked, laundry done - etc. Still trying to get my mind around the no lift/push/pull over 10lbs for 4 weeks. I have two large dogs - if one of them even bumps me, I'm a goner:ohmy:! Everyone keeps asking me if I'm scared or excited. Actually - neither. I'm so busy and it's moving so fast that I don't have time to really dwell - and when I have pondered I get myself into a low level anxiety. I'm doing this for my health and it's just a tool but all the testing ramps it up the anxiety a bit even though everything's fine. Having had cancer puts an edge on any medical testing even after all these years. Add on trying to get used to a BiPap in five days which isn't going to be easy - here I am at my desk at midnight dodging going to bed like a child:tongue_smilie:! Still trying to get my husband to grasp that this isn't like getting a Snap-On tool. He seems to think I'm invincible because I've bounced back from other surgeries and maybe I will, but I'm trying to prepare him for the unpleasant potentials and that if I tell him he needs to get me to an ER, it's not a debate. I think he's thinking I'm going to be whipping up a home cooked meal on Wednesday night:w00t:! As far as the pre-surgical diet goes - I think it would've gone better if it was just limited to the two weeks prior. I've been on this for over a month. I have cheated - not too terribly. Last Friday after the surgeon cleared me, we went out for a late lunch. I had half a fish sandwich, 6 fries and a 1/4c of cole slaw and was full. It's been a struggle since. I managed two shakes today and ate a 1/4 of a chicken breast and some crackers with cheese. Now I feel gassy & guilty! (but not sleepy)
RavenClaw779

RavenClaw779

1
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