It's Deja Vu All Over Again!

Still hanging at the 216-224 range. It's gotten to the point that I have "rules" that are so bizarre that my husband is pushing me to see my WLS. I don't want to go back for fear I'm going to hear it's my fault I haven't lost more...

Jill's Rules - not really mine, what my body is dictating:

*Can't eat before 10am; thankfully, coffee goes down okay.

*Can't get breakfast down(1/4c oatmeal, 1/4c egg sub, 2 slices turkey bacon or yogurt and fruit) in under 45 minutes.

*Can't be wearing a bra or anything remotely fitted around my waist - food will not go down.

*Can't sit down to eat - three bites and I'm backlogged.

*Attempt to sit down to dinner - see above - then run to the bathroom, throw up food plus a nasty looking mucus ball(TMI-I know!)

Then - surprise! I can eat..as long as I stand up to do it.

*Hungry all the time - and it's not in my head - my stomach growls so loudly my co-workers crack up in meetings.

*Obsessed w/chocolate - never was before. It's either because it will go down and gives me instant(temporary) energy or because if the serotonin release.

*Vomitting can be triggered by something as small as the thin slice of a radish or a 1/4 tsp size piece of chicken and can go on for hours.

*After throwing up, the area around my port seems to puff up. Despite having my haital hernia fixed a surgery, I feel like I have acid reflux.

When I list it all, it does seem a bit ridiculous for me to continue to suffer. I guess I should just be glad that I'm no longer 286 pounds. Healthier with well-controlled blood glucose, but still the biggest gal in the room. Still not taken seriously or talked down to because I'm plus sized. I suppose it's time I just suck it up and accept that this is as good as it's going to get.