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My Secret Journey

A blog by julie.ann in General

  • Entries

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About this blog

This is my journal towards weight loss. This is where I can come and put everything out there. I have kept my decision to myself. The only person besides my doctor that know is my husband. (I finally told my best friend too!) My kids know I had surge

Entries in this blog

Are you happy where you are?

I have noticed that since I have returned from my week at the beach that I have become more complacent about my routine. Happier about how I look and comfortable in the sizes I am fitting into. This is what I am going to refer to as the begining of my demise.....   I have to be more careful. I was at the gym last night and I had a very stern talk with myself. I am less than a week away from hitting my 6 month bandiversary and I am thinking I will be at the -95# mark by that day. Isn't that inc

Lead us not into tempation....

I went to the beach last week for a conference and things went pretty well. I was able to work out 4 days last week and I did pretty well eating with only a few cheats. I did drink too much alcohol and I know those are empty calories but I had a good time and I even lost a little weight.   Ok so here is the thing that happened that is kind of weird. I could be wrong....It has been a while.....but I think that one of the docs was flirting with me. Yeah, I know! WEIRD!   He was a McCutey! I DI

Education...Phase 4

Well my education seems to have just begun. I know some of you may know me. I was banded almost 6 months ago and I have lost 90 lbs. So why do I say my education has just begun?   I think Phase 1 is learning about the band and making a decision. Phase 2 is pre-op and post-op. Phase 3 would probablly be learning to live with having this tool. Well I am just learning what it means to be banded with a band that has not only hit the sweet spot, but reminds me at every meal. (Phase 4) I ha

This is why I had surgery!!!!

So here I go with more NSV. Why am I writing about these? Well I have come to accept that there will be a day that I don’t remember what it felt like to be where I am right now. I have stated to forget how it actually felt to be where I was 6 months ago. I remember the things I had to do (position pillows to get comfortable to sleep, ask for a window seat on the plane so I could smash myself up against the side and not take up too much room, buy 5x shirts because I wanted them loose and baggy) b

Keep on paddling and stop drifting in the water....

This weekend was a tough one for me. I cheated both Saturday and Sunday. I haven't eaten less than stellar for 2 days in a row since I was banded almost 6 months ago. I was doing well and the weight was dropping, but just like every other time I concetrated on my weight or a certain goal I started to drift in the water.   It is like being out in the middle of ocean. If I look at how far I have to paddle my little boat to find dry land, I start to give up and think that drifting will eventually

Letting people in on my secret....

Today I have taken a huge step for me and decided to share my experience with others around me. Until now the only people that have known has been my hubby, a friend that I told in Nov/Dec and last week I told another friend as she went with me to my latest fill. I have shared my story with the girls I break with at work. Why? Well I was at work in one of the nurse's stations and someone was nice enough to pay me a compliement. I said thank you and when asked told them that I was watching wh

The fill has kicked in!

Okay....so much for it taking 10 days for the fill to kick in! I had a fill two days ago and I can tell!!! I even have to really watch my bites I haven't had to do that in months. I have to admit that I am a little worried about how tight I will get in the next 10 - 14 days. I guess we will see. Maybe this will get me just where I need to be. For the first time I didn't schedule my next appointment. We will play it by ear. I am hoping that it will be 2-3months or more before I need to go bac

ONEderland in less than 6 months!!!

April 4, 2009 Well the day is here! It is time to do the ONEderland Happy Dance!!!! I can’t believe it!!! I want to scream it to the heavens! I had this grand goal to hit it by April 1st. It happened a few days late, but who am I to complain? I just can’t believe it! In under 6 months I have gone from 285lbs to 199lbs. I just can’t believe it! My next goal is to get to the century mark and lose 100 lbs. That is about 15 lbs and my next goal is Memorial Day. I have big news on top of th

The other side of the ticker....

I am close to ONEderland. I have lost over 80 lbs and that is great, but I am starting to look at the other side of the ticker. I finally have less than 60 bls to loose to make it to goal. 50-something is a great thought when you start with 140 on that side! I also see this as an amazing accomplishment to get to the point in my journey that I start to look at the goal and not getting 25% to goal or 50% to goal. I'm sure I will celebrate ONEderland (hopefully next week) and I think I will treat

Putting things in perspective....

Today I faced the blizzard and made it to the gym. The owner and I were the only two people there and he commented that I had lost a lost of weight since my ID picture had been taken when I joined the gym. I told him yes, just a little over 80 lbs so far. A little bit later he said he wanted to show me something before I left. I finally got done with my cardio and went to see what he wanted to show me. We walked over to the free weights and he picked up a dumbell and placed it on the floor. He

NSV...SV...Victories all over the place.

Okay...where do I start. I know if has been a while since I have posted and I am ready to share some great stuff that has been going on directly related to my band.   First a BIG NSV (non-scale victory) I went shopping today for a new pair of jeans. I have been wearing a size 18 (I know I can't believe I've been in a size 18!!!) A couple of people have commented that they are getting baggy. Not falling off or anything, but baggy in the but, so I decided to find some that fit me ok. I tried on

What is wrong?!?!? Stretched Pouch?!?!

As you can see by my stats below in the last 5 months I have really done pretty well. I am NOT complaining about my progress at all. My concern is that although I usually don't eat any more than 1 1/2 cups of food I am worried about having a stretched pouch. I have in the past month or so eaten pizza twice and I am shocked by how much I can eat. I know I shouldn't eat it and I usually do VERY WELL by today I ate about half of a red barron thin crust pizza. That shouldn't happen. I can feel that

Just because I can eat it doesn't mean I should!!!

I partied last night. For the first time in almost 5 months I really over did it in every way. I drank (althought had as few of calories as possible doing it) and ate much more than I should have. My husband's family had a "benefit" dinner for my son. We are sending him to Austria in July with an Ambassador program. We have been fund raising and so his aunt invitedthe whole family over and cooked mexican food and had everyone over for a donation dinner. The first round of supper I did a good

A letter to my Doctor and his office staff....

I have been thinking about my band and my life. With a 7 hour drive home after my (3rd) fill there is alot of time for thinking.   I know that this monster I fight called obesity is a tough one. I have started to look at how it has affected my life.   Although my weight did keep me from doing a few physically active things with my family I have found that it was the emotioinal and psychological damage that my obesity caused that hurt the most. I would use my weight as a reason not to go ou

Half Way!!!! - 71 lbs!!!!!! Four months Post-op!!

2-21-09 I weigh 213.8 and just in case you didn't notice that puts a bigger number on the left side of my ticker than the right! I AM OVER HALF WAY TO GOAL and I have lost 50% of my excess body weight! YEAH! I am almost 4 months post-op. I love my band! I hope to be in onderland by April 1 and hit the -100 pounds by my 35th birthday in June!!!! Thank you guys for you great support. I thought I needed a fill. Starting to look for food again between meals. Well my hubby broke his

A journal entry from August.....A flashback from the begining.

I'm sure this is something you have either heard before or have experienced. I am scared of getting banded. Not the surgery or the change in lifestyle, but....what if I don't succeed? Am I hiding behind my limitations and once I have this there is nothing to hide behind? I have lost weight and gained weight and lost it again and found it plus some. I know how to lose weight. I am looking for the tool to help me make this a change of LIFE.     I am thinking that I don't want to tell anyone abo

I don't have my glassess does the tag really say size 16?!?!?

2-10-09 Did I really just do that? Did I really just buy a size 16? Does it matter they are stretchy? Does it matter they are from Wal-mart? Does it matter that they are a little snug? Does it matter that I feel like I will be able to wear these forever? I can’t imagine ever growing out of (or shrinking out of) these. I started out a size 24. I dug out my old size 18 and that was the smallest jeans I’ve had. I wore a size 16 about 9 years ago for just a little bit. I haven’t worn anything

*Results not typical (???)

2-7-09     *Results not typical (???)   I have seen that little asterisk next to all of those people that have supposedly lost weight on all of those diet programs. If those results aren’t typical then why are they telling us that we can do what they did? If that isn’t the expected outcome for the majority of people then why are they shoving them in our face? I was banded in October. I am almost 4 months from the time I started my pre-op diet. Four months ago I weighed 285 lbs. T

Shouldn't losing weight be......harder than this?

2-1-09 Now I hope that I don’t have people throwing things at me after I say this. I don’t know if I’m more afraid of having heavy objects thrown at me or food thrown at me. I could dodge the heavy items, but I might not try so hard if it is ice cream or pizza people are throwing at me. I‘ve been thinking the last few days that this should be harder than it is. Oh don’t get me wrong, in the beginning and post-op it was hard enough! But now it appears that I have hit my sweet spot. Abo

OMG! Getting stuck is not for sissys!!! And not for me!!!

1-28-09 I got stuck. I don’t mean my weight. I’m talking about my chicken breast I made for supper. If you have never had anything S-T-U-C-K then I can’t even begin to tell you how horrible and miserable it is!!!!! I have done some small time sliming in the past, but tonight was the first time I did any PBing (productive belching). I couldn’t have imagined what that was like! When I have slimed in the past I would have some belching trying to move that piece of whatever (usually meat) down

Irrationally upset by crazy coments.....

1-27-08   Okay I know that I should be flattered with all of the attention. I am happy that people can tell that I have lost weight. But I find myself getting a little pissy about some of the comments. I know they all mean well. There is this lady at work that compliments me, “You are looking so skinny…now promise me you won’t gain it back.” Like I ever lost weight and PLANNED to put it back on. It wasn’t bad until about the 10th time she said it in two weeks.   Then there is this other

My favorite Band Friendly Foods...

1-25-09     Some of my favorite foods!   Sizzlin Chicken and Cheese (Inspired by the dish of the same name at TGI Friday's)   Saute pepper and onion strips in EVOO Spray Chicken Breast grilled or pre-grilled and warmed melt 2 pieces of american cheese on top. Takes about 10-15 minutes to from chopping veggies to eating if using pre-grilled chicken.   Excellent! Full meal! ------------------------- Quick and easy chicken salad. 1 can of chicken 2-3 tblsp light miracle whip

Testing my new lifestyle.....

1-23-09   I went out to eat today and I was so scared I was going to blow it! I almost said no to those that were visiting from out of town, but I thought that at some point this would happen. I would need to eat out without planning for it. I needed to face it and see how I would do. I just said that this was becoming a lifestyle. Well life has unexpected twists. Would I handle this with style or fall back to my old ways?   I told them what I always order. (Chicken chimichanga with a hu

Changing from a diet to a lifestyle...

1-17-08   Mentally I am doing pretty good. I think that the newness is wearing off. I am still motivated. I guess after 3 months things really are becoming more of a lifestyle change. It isn’t as hard to choose to eat healthy as it used to be. Today my hubby and kids wanted McDonalds. I went with DH to pick it up because I wanted to grab a couple of things at the store. It wasn’t even a choice I needed to make. I wouldn’t put myself in that situation over and over, but it was okay. I mad

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