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My Secret Journey

A blog by julie.ann in General

  • Entries

    83

  • Comments

    400

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    14,279

About this blog

This is my journal towards weight loss. This is where I can come and put everything out there. I have kept my decision to myself. The only person besides my doctor that know is my husband. (I finally told my best friend too!) My kids know I had surge

Entries in this blog

I've met some goals...Time to set a few more!

1-16-08     I have hit some of my Non-Scale Goals. My goals include being comfortable sitting in a chair without having a table to hide me. Being able to cross my legs and be comfortable. (especially in an airplane) My kids being able to hug me and put their arms all the way around me I realized after my son’s game last night that I was comfortable sitting on the bleachers watching him play. I wasn’t completely self conscious like I used to be. I can cross my legs. I’m no

What does my band do for me?

1-13-09   What does my band do for me? That is what I have been asking myself lately. Everyone at work, everywhere I go, asks me how much weight I have lost. Oh it was great at first to have people notice, but now it is all the time and of course the question follows.   How are you doing it?   I tell them I am doing what I am supposed to. I am eating healthy, watching my portions and exercising. That is absolutely true. That is not a lie at all. So that has made me ask myself

I think every fill is different...

1-10-09 Well my second fill is behind me. Dr. K saw my weight loss and asked me if I even needed a fill. (I lost 15# in 5 weeks.) I asked the same thing two days earlier when I called the office. What made Natalie decide that I needed to keep my appointment was the fact that I was starting to get hungry a little faster between meals. I also can eat more than I should. I would stop at about 1 ½ cups but I know I could eat more. I think every fill might be different. It wasn’t as clear for

Better than Disney World!

FIFTY pounds gone forever! I can't believe it! Three short months ago I was getting ready to start my pre-op diet! It was 3 months ago that I was wondering if I would let myself down like I had every other time I tried to lose weight. It was 3 months ago I wondered if the band would work for me the way it worked for so many. Three months ago I was wondering what if I spend all this money…$265/mo for 5 years, to weigh the same as I did on my surgery day. I am over a third of the way to my goal.

Why are NEGATIVE comments easier for some people to make?

1/3/09 I can’t believe it has been so long since I’ve posted. Well my family did come. The entire first day no one said ANYTHING about my weight loss. After 45 pounds gone and not one word! DH tried telling me they were just too tired to. I couldn’t believe it. About noon the next day dad said something. Then they said oh, yea they noticed right away. I asked why if I gain 2 lbs on they apologize and asked if I gained weight. It goes something like “I’m sorry, I know you don’t want me to as

Acceptance......and a good bye to another Christmas.

12/26/08 Well I went back to the gym and worked hard. I have been gaining and losing the last 2 lbs over and over for about 10 days. I was so smug before thinking that I was lucky and doing so well….I guess it happens to everyone. Christmas is a hard time to diet. No doubt about that! I guess I should be happy if I don’t gain any weight this week. At one point I was 0.2 lbs away from my New Years goal. Now I am about 1.5lbs away. I don’t know if I will make it, but if I don’t make it by N

A confession and strong words to set an addict straight.

12/21/08   My name is Julie and I am a food addict. I thought I had my problem under control. I thought that I had learned so many lessons that I could jump back on the wagon if I ever took a little sip from the bottle…so to speak. I had a Christmas party to go to on Friday. It went okay. Not great. I had a half of a dinner roll. Except for an occasional thin crust pizza I have not had any bread of any kind for 2 months. I didn’t even want to know if it would go down. It was a dinner party

How to Lap Band .....is that a dance?

This is how I am doing what I am doing.   1. The second most useful tool for me is keep VERY CLOSE track of what I eat on www.sparkpeople.com That is about all I do on there because I have this great support system here so I don't use it for that. This may even be my #1 most useful tool at this point until I reach my sweet spot. It helps me to make smart decisions. Remember the band is just a tool. It won't keep you from putting things in your mouth that will cause you to gain weight. Until w

Too much food = chest pain!

Oh, I just ate too much for supper. I worked pizza into my nutrition for the day. I am still under 1100 calories. It has been so long since I ate too much that I forgot about the chest pain that goes along with that. Just a little tonight, but I wish I still didn't remember it..... I worked out 5 days this week so I did a half a workout to day (my 5th day). I am feeling pretty good. The scale said that I gained a little today. That doesn't really happen too often, but lost like 2.5 lbs the day

My First Fill....Strange!

12/5/08 My first fill! Yeah! What a ton of weird feelings. I never had anyone walk me through what it was like to have a fill, so I am going to put it down here. Well first I should say that Dr. Kirshenbaum is the one that did my fill and every doctor is probably different. So I went in and they weighed me. I don’t mind getting on the scale as long as the numbers are going down. I went into the exam room and there was a sonogram machine on one side of the table. So I laid down on the exam

Thanksgiving Week Review...and a NSV!

11-30-08   I went shopping yesterday. My jeans are getting big. I went to Lane Bryant and I tried on a 5P. They were loose....very comfortable if this was the weight I was staying at. I tried on a 4P and they fit!   Then I thought I was trying on a size 22 coat. (I usually would look for a 24 or 26.) I thought it was okay.....just a little tiny bit small, but something I could definitely wear and I could grow into it through the winter. I looked at the tag again and realized that I coul

Stress....Primary Care Doctor and a Best Friend.

11/24/08   Almost 1 month post-op and my wonderful, fabulous, miraculous resistance is all gone. I was supposed to have a fill tomorrow but it will be a week from Friday instead. I kind of kick myself for changing it, but it will be better traveling on Thanksgiving not to be getting used to my first adjustment. I thought I was cheating…okay I got all ticked off at the kids tonight and I dealt with it the way I used to deal with stress. I went out and bought a deep dish supreme single pizza

Did I really postpone my first fill?!?!?!?

11-21-08 Oh what was I thinking? I was afraid that I would drive all the way out to Denver and then not get a fill because I'm doing pretty well. I called and postponed until Dec 16th and then I rethought, but by the time I called back my appt was gone so now I wait another 2 weeks. Maybe it was the right thing. I am losing at a good pace, but I get hungry every 3 hours and I am afraid of eating too much at one time and stretching my pouch. I eat about 1 1/2cups or maybe a little more. I s

Eating isn't fun, but I think that is okay...

11-14-08   I have come to the point where eating is not fun. I made this great epiphany during my pre-op diet. Remember how this goes…. Eating is for survival. It is to get enough nutrition to live. That is its main focus. It is not a reward. It does not console us. It doesn't take away boredom It doesn't listen to our problems. It is a fair weather friend....actually not even a friend at all. It is that bi*chy girl in jr. high that we thought liked us, but only pretends to until

My Bandster Guidelines.....

11/14/08 I thought I would put down the guidelines I have gotten from other bandsters that have been successful. I have to remember these. I have been told over and over you don’t have to follow all of the guidelines all of the time, but most of them most of the time. So far so good.   Here are the guidelines: Guidelines: • No liquid calories [except 2 servings of non fat milk (2 x 8 oz = 16 oz/day)] (16 grams of protein) • No soft foods • Two 3-4 ounce servings of protein/day (2 X 21-28

I'm almost too tired to celebrate.....

11/13/08     I’m really tired today. I only got about 2 ½ hours of sleep last night. I am ready for bed but I thought I would stop by and put some things down. I am so tired I couldn’t even jump up and down. I am down. The scale….or at least the Wii Fit tells me I have lost almost 30lbs. That has been since my pre-op diet. I have to admit I am kind of let down that no one at work has noticed my 30 pound weight loss. I keep telling myself that one day I will be able to say I lost 70 lbs. T

My first of many NSV (Non-scale victories!)

11/9/08 I’ve already begun to pull clothes out of my closet I haven’t worn in years. And that started just a week post-op and continues. I can’t believe it. I am already ….um…..more comfortable with my husband. Okay that was kind of weird putting that down. I’ve moved to weighing myself on the Wii Fit. It says that I’ve lost a total of 27 lbs and I’ve got from a BMI of 49 to 44.11. That is amazing! I was embarrassed of my BMI even on the boards, but I feel more “normal” for a new bandster

Back on the Wagon....

“In all fairness, some band patients do regain their weight. Many don't. The band is not magic. It's like any other weight loss program. It works as long as you do it. If you make a permanent lifestyle change and continue to eat healthy it can be permanent. If you drift back into grazing, eating junk or eating all soft foods the results won't last as long. It's not fool proof. Any fool can fool the band. Or you can choose to continue to work with it, heed the signals and do well. Like everythin

Off the wagon...

11/7/08 I fell off the wagon…..Ok it was more a jump….or leap. Yeah, Leap would probably cover it. I know that I shouldn’t have, but I did. I have been having a hard time getting in even 900 calories. Of course the monster I fight (obesity) tells me….well I have been so low on calories it won’t hurt. One time. One meal. I’ll write it down and figure it in. I don’t have a fill yet. It will be okay. After almost a month with no bread, pasta, potatoes or rice I ate pizza. I feel like crap. My ches

One Week Post-op

11/5/08 ONE WEEK! I can’t believe it was only a week ago that I got banded! I have lost 9 lbs in that week for a total of 23 lbs. I haven’t lost anything the last 2 days…..uh I don’t think I can complain that I went two days without weight loss. Besides I’ve got some sodium back in my diet so I’m sure that will cause me to put on a few pounds of water. This first month is for healing. I need to remember that! I have been really watching my portions. I get hungry faster though. That is normal an

Six Days Post-op 11/4/08

11/4/08 6:15 am: Well I was just re-reading my journal entry from yesterday. I think that maybe I have figured out a tiny part of why I don’t want to share this. If I felt like this was something that I WANTED it would different than something I NEEDED. It sounds like a small difference, but it isn’t really. I am planning to cook me up some egg beaters – southwestern this morning and I am avoiding. I better go. 7:00 am: Well that went well. At least so far. I had ½ cup of eggs. I took

Five Days Post-op 11/3/08

11/3/08   I am hungry, but the thought of eating anything about makes me want to puke. I finally broke down and bought some liquid protien. 42g in 3 ounces. I had to. I couldn't get enough in. I can't even drink enough. I'm trying. I got over 60 gms of protein in with that. I bought six to last me about the next week. I am supposed to be able to start transitioning to soft food the day after tomorrow but I have decided to try some egg beaters tomorrow. A day early, but I want to try. :th

Four Days post op 11/2/08

11/2/08   I know that I am going to start going downhill when it comes to writing in my journal so I better keep it up while I have a few minutes. I went to church today. Still no one knows about surgery. I’m glad. Today some friends are moving back into their house after several months. Usually I would be the first in line to help. My family is still going to go. I can’t lift anything and I don’t know what kind of believable reason I would give about not being able to help. I thought abou

Three days post-op

11/01/08 1030: Today is better so far. I had some runny oatmeal. Maybe a ¼ cup at the most. I am still trying to drink protein drinks because protein helps with healing. I am going to work hard to get my water in today. I weighed myself and finally have all the water weight off from the hospital. I was wondering how long it would take to lose that. I am down 3 lbs since surgery 3 days ago. I haven’t been able to get many calories in. I am trying. I had to take my scopolamine patch off so I am

Happy Halloween!

10/31/08 0930: Happy Halloween. So far the pain has improved. I continue to take the liquid lortab. Shoulder pain comes and goes. The kids have been great and I have sipped some protein shake. 1330: I’m starting to get that “what did I do” feeling. No, not really a regret but kind of. I cooked frozen pizza for the family today. I’m not craving it. It isn’t like I am slobbering to get my hands on it. I am torn between telling myself that “I can’t have it again and don’t even think about

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