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Couples being banded??



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:thumbup:my hubby and i both attended our first consultation to see if we are candidates for lapband.... his BMI is 41.7 and mine is 40.3.... we are both candidates and from what I understand our ins. does cover the procedure it appears there is a 4 month waiting period in which we will have to have monthly dr appts with nutritionist and psycological evaluations as well as other testing.... the staff said for us to maintain our current weights and that ( can you believe it) I could stand to gain about 5 lbs... THE ONLY TIME IN MY LIFE THAT GAINING WEIGHT WOULD BE A GOOD THING.. lol...

we go next month for another dr appt and also for a sleep study... i guess the sleep study is that they can be sure we are healthy enough to be put under??? from what i understood...

we are both very eager to have the band and we are ready to start our NEW LIFE together. I am glad we are doing it together so that we can be on the same page and also encourage each other but we will also be more understanding and sympathetic of what the other person is going to experience with this new journey of our lives.

I would like to hear from other couples of how their process went to get banded and how they are doing now.

we have been married 15 yr and I am so excited that this procedure will allow us to live a happy, healthier longer life together.:thumbup:

we have chosen to go through TRUE RESULTS in Dallas, Tx and to use Dr. Benavidez...

any questions or comments on Dr. B would be appreciated. thanks to all

Edited by ready4nume
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Just wanted to say congratulations on this first step and wish you the best of luck. As for the sleep study, they just want to know if you have sleep apnea for two reasons... one is that if you do have it, it can help w/insurance approval (sounds like that may not be a hurdle for you w/your insurance), but second, they need to know if you have sleep apnea because if you do, you need to use a CPAP machine prior to and right after surgery. And, if you have sleep apnea, most surgeons/insurance require you have your surgery in the hospital and spend the night (rather than doing it outpatient and going right home). Don't worry about that for now, but in any case, it won't preclude you from having the surgery.

I was diagnosed w/sleep apnea, got the CPAP machine, really don't use it because I don't seem to get the sleep apnea unless I sleep on my back (which I don't normally - I just did in the sleep study because its the only way I could fall asleep with everything hooked up to me). Anyway, my surgeon said to use it now (just prior to surgery) because it will open up my airways really well and they will want me to wear it right after as well.

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My husband and I have been married 14 years. He went with me to the informational session in March 2009 and decided he would like to have the procedure as well. I am scheduled for this Friday the 11th and he is scheduled for the 15th. We would have had it the same day but we have small children at home and couldn't both be away at the same time. It is nice to have someone to go through this with who understands what you are going through and as your whole lifestyle is changing in regards to food and social occasions, it will be so much easier for us to be "on the same page." I have lost lots of weight throughout the years but always gained it back because my husband would continue to cook and eat the same - which is fine, it was his choice - and I felt like the outcast. There was lots of tension between us, I won't lie. But now that he has come on board with my way of healthy eating, Portion Control, better choices, etc., we have really come to a whole new place in our relationship and I am so glad he made this decision with me!

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:thumbup:my hubby and i both attended our first consultation to see if we are candidates for LAP-BAND®.... his BMI is 41.7 and mine is 40.3.... we are both candidates and from what I understand our ins. does cover the procedure it appears there is a 4 month waiting period in which we will have to have monthly dr appts with nutritionist and psycological evaluations as well as other testing.... the staff said for us to maintain our current weights and that ( can you believe it) I could stand to gain about 5 lbs... THE ONLY TIME IN MY LIFE THAT GAINING WEIGHT WOULD BE A GOOD THING.. lol...

we go next month for another dr appt and also for a sleep study... i guess the sleep study is that they can be sure we are healthy enough to be put under??? from what i understood...

we are both very eager to have the band and we are ready to start our NEW LIFE together. I am glad we are doing it together so that we can be on the same page and also encourage each other but we will also be more understanding and sympathetic of what the other person is going to experience with this new journey of our lives.

I would like to hear from other couples of how their process went to get banded and how they are doing now.

we have been married 15 yr and I am so excited that this procedure will allow us to live a happy, healthier longer life together.:thumbup:

we have chosen to go through TRUE RESULTS in Dallas, Tx and to use Dr. Benavidez...

any questions or comments on Dr. B would be appreciated. thanks to all

My wife and i got banded. hers in may and me in june. i had made up my mind to get this done before i even talked to her. so she came along to make sure i would be ok then when we got to the clinic the docs said i has to lose some wieght before surgery but my wife was ok to go n have it done. i was suppose to be first so she was scared. its been great she is off her bp's pills and i have lost alot so its been good. understanding and letting the other person deal with there own eating habits is the real big kicker. mine was eating to fast and too much , so the band has made me see my problems from the start.

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Both my DH and I were banded but it was very much an individual journey and decision for each of us. I was banded 4 years ago this week, and of course, the family benefitted from my new commitment to healthy eating, although truth be told, i have always fed my family well.

I was well down to goal weight by the time DH decided to get banded.

However, we have markedly different attitudes towards banded life and weight loss.

I think Doug expected to get the same results i did without putting in the same work. He has never exercised and although he's had a fairly good result - 60lb lost and he's now got a BMI of 26, he's just got way too much fat and no muscle (he's a very thin build naturally). So he's still got a beer gut basically.

However, he seems to subconsciously think that I'm responsible for his exercise and success - becuase I run and go to boot camp and circuit training and dont wait around to walk with him instead, he *cant* exercise - mind you, he'll more likely than not say he's too tired, when I do wait. He talks about personal training, and I could certainly train him too, but he always finds an excuse to "just walk today" rather than put in any real effort. He has NEVER since being banded been out even for a walk on his own, he will not do anything unless I do it to and unfortunately over the past four years, I've left him far far behind fitness wise. To me walking isnt exercise, its something pleasant to do but no way am I giving up my exercise time to keep him company ambling along. Mind you he comes from parents who spend their lives in the recliner listening to the radio and i come from parents who are off round the country four times a year and always out playing golf, tennis, or whatever. They never sit still. Our parents are all around the same age and you'd swear mine are 20 years younger.

We dont fight about this, but I've long accepted he'll never get off his butt and do anything effective, and I've long accepted we'll never exercise together, truth be told, we have entirely different attitudes to exercise. Its just how it is.

I also dont resent the boundaries the band places on my eating, to me its a price well worth the result I've had, but I dont think DH really loves his band, I think he finds it restrictive and problematic, even though it functions well and he's never ever pb'd. He doesnt want to actually overeat or eat rubbvsh and he had less disordered eating than I did in the first place, but he cant accept the smaller sized meals, he's obsessed with this idea that he "needs" a bigger Breakfast, lunch and dinner than he can handle.

So although we coexist happily and have both lost a lot of weight, we're both very very different in how we approach banded life. Its not a couples journey at all for us, we're just too different although we are united in every other aspect of our lives.

Edited by Jachut

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thanks for all the great comments and info please keep it coming.....

I would like to say that I AM GETTING VERY EXCITED and wish we didn't have to wait til MARCH for our last visit before we can get scheduled I am hoping we can get banded at the end of March.... we have decided to do it on the same day and have my mom stay with us at the hotel...as we will be driving 400 miles to have the procedures done and the dr requires us to stay in town for a few days after the procedure. The other good part is that my mom doesn't live very far from the town where the procedure is taking place so we will probably stay with her for a day or so after the 2 days in the hotel.

One thing I forgot to mention is that my husband has a history fo medical issues in his family and mine has diabetes and Hbp So we are looking forward to the health issues getting better with the weight loss...... we both realize it will not be an easy road but we are anxious and ready for our LIFE CHANGE!!!!

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i goofed on hubby's ticker... sorry

weight.png

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My husband and I are being banded on Dec 19th. We are both looking forward to it. This week is filled with all our pre-op appts. Psych, nutrition, surgeon appts then next Monday we go for our hospital tests. I am ready for this journey!

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Both my DH and I were banded but it was very much an individual journey and decision for each of us. I was banded 4 years ago this week, and of course, the family benefitted from my new commitment to healthy eating, although truth be told, i have always fed my family well.

I was well down to goal weight by the time DH decided to get banded.

However, we have markedly different attitudes towards banded life and weight loss.

I think Doug expected to get the same results i did without putting in the same work. He has never exercised and although he's had a fairly good result - 60lb lost and he's now got a BMI of 26, he's just got way too much fat and no muscle (he's a very thin build naturally). So he's still got a beer gut basically.

However, he seems to subconsciously think that I'm responsible for his exercise and success - becuase I run and go to boot camp and circuit training and dont wait around to walk with him instead, he *cant* exercise - mind you, he'll more likely than not say he's too tired, when I do wait. He talks about personal training, and I could certainly train him too, but he always finds an excuse to "just walk today" rather than put in any real effort. He has NEVER since being banded been out even for a walk on his own, he will not do anything unless I do it to and unfortunately over the past four years, I've left him far far behind fitness wise. To me walking isnt exercise, its something pleasant to do but no way am I giving up my exercise time to keep him company ambling along. Mind you he comes from parents who spend their lives in the recliner listening to the radio and i come from parents who are off round the country four times a year and always out playing golf, tennis, or whatever. They never sit still. Our parents are all around the same age and you'd swear mine are 20 years younger.

We dont fight about this, but I've long accepted he'll never get off his butt and do anything effective, and I've long accepted we'll never exercise together, truth be told, we have entirely different attitudes to exercise. Its just how it is.

I also dont resent the boundaries the band places on my eating, to me its a price well worth the result I've had, but I dont think DH really loves his band, I think he finds it restrictive and problematic, even though it functions well and he's never ever pb'd. He doesnt want to actually overeat or eat rubbvsh and he had less disordered eating than I did in the first place, but he cant accept the smaller sized meals, he's obsessed with this idea that he "needs" a bigger Breakfast, lunch and dinner than he can handle.

So although we coexist happily and have both lost a lot of weight, we're both very very different in how we approach banded life. Its not a couples journey at all for us, we're just too different although we are united in every other aspect of our lives.

OMG, Jacqui, we live the same life! This is me and my dh NOW - a week before surgery. I can just see this is how it is going to be afterwards. The only problem is I can see us having major problems afterwards if it continues and we will grow apart. He does not like to exercise and will not even go for a walk if I ask him to. Scary how similar our experiences are...

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Its not as bad as it sounds, lol. DH does not care one hoot about having a perfect, hard body. He's thrilled to be out of the danger zone health wise and that's all that really matters to him.

This weight loss thing is really a personal journey anyway. You can do it alongside someone else, but not truly WITH someone else, if you know what I mean. And to heal yourself, you need to get selfish.

I am selfish with my exercise. I dont WANT to exercise with DH anyway, its my time. I'd be thrilled if he wanted to say, come to a circuit class with me (my son does instead) but my running is personal time and a deeply personal endeavour. I dont want to run with anyone else. I want to put my ipod on and get some headspace. I freely admit my kids might go unfed till 7.30 so that I can get a run in. It takes a bit of that.

DH is happy enough with the balance and it really took me to curb my expectations of him, once I did that it didnt bother me either. He just sometimes trots out the excuse that he couldnt go for a walk when he got home from work because I was out running. I fail to see the logic in it, its nothing more than a wimpy excuse, lol, but for some reason, a big 43 year old strapping man cant go out for a walk alone!

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Readyfornume i will be getting banded around january or early february and my husband will be getting the bypass. The reason he is getting the bypass is because he has dibeties and that is the best solution for him. I agree it will be great to go through this together. It will be good to be able to know what the other is going through. We have also been married for 15 years. I would love to keep in touch and learn more about your story and your sucesses. Feel free to leave me a message if you want to.

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Shelyn me and my husband will also be having surgery in the same month and would love to follow your story and share ours. Feel free to leave me a message on here if you would like

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My Hubby & I hope to be banded in January. We should have surgery dates shortly. We have been going through the 6 month nutrition counseling & all the pre-op testing. My BMI is 38 with 2 co-morbidities. Hubby's is 43. We are both 45 and have been married for 21 years. It only makes sense that we do this together. We are not going to be banded on the same day - but hopefully within a few weeks of each other. I look forward to staying in touch with all of you!:thumbup:

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Banded on Friday, 12/11, and hubby was banded this morning. Wondering what this adventure will bring. I won't lie, the first few days were horrible and I did have some regrets. It's getting better now but I'll be glad when I get to some normalcy. Once results start to show, that will be a plus, too. I mean I've lost 5 pounds since surgery but imagine that was alot of Water or something. I also lost 7 pound from pre-op appt on 12/2 until surgery on 12/11. I won't get used to those kind of figures though! LOL

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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