People are just Rude!

[HeatherO 7]

It is true that some people are rude . . . but sometimes they don't even realize it. If she is from a different country, perhaps it is not considered so bad to joke around about it.

I have a good friend from another country that said "oh I remember you were so fat before" . . . I was horrifically embarrassed at that moment, but I know she never meant it in a way that was insulting, I think it was actually her way of complimenting me.

Try not to take things too personally regardless of where it comes from or how it is intended . . . you are you and no-one can judge you.

You can also tell someone who makes that social faux pas that you don't appreciate those kinds of comments. Usually that nips it in the bud unles they were intending to be hurtful.

[ParrotheadCathy 0]

Some people don't have a lick of sense! These same people will walk up to a pregnant woman they barely know and touch her belly.

Now, I never had anything like what you experienced happen to me BUT I will say that anybody who knows me remotely well at all knows I don't anybody's sh*t, ever, so perhaps they just figured out it was best to lay low!

If there are people in your workplace who REPEATEDLY give you diets or say things, then listen to PipeDoc....that is a hostile work environment. Tell them very clearly (politely) and without any doubt that you do not want their interference in your life or well-being and that if they do it again, you will report them to human resources for causing hostile work environment. THEN DO IT! Go to HR, give the diet or tell them about the many comments and tell them that you wish to file a formal complaint about your employer fostering a hostile work environment. Trust me, they better take action or you have a legal case. They don't want that.

[Bonnie_Lass 1]

, the women says in a very loud voice "Neither of them need to be eating fried chicken, let alone all you can eat".

I know I turned ten shades of red.

I'd be turning red too, and I don't know if I could do what your friend did, or any of the other wonderful suggestions here. I'm too beaten down. Maybe a year from now, with a good weight loss will help.

To TracyNYC, it's such a shame to hear that this is going on with school staff - in my son's school they are running an anti-bullying program to educate the kids to respect differences - sounds like some staff at your school need the education.

Edited November 13, 2009 by Bonnie_Lass
wrong name used

[Odjii 0]

It is true that some people are rude . . . but sometimes they don't even realize it. If she is from a different country, perhaps it is not considered so bad to joke around about it.

I have a good friend from another country that said "oh I remember you were so fat before" . . . I was horrifically embarrassed at that moment, but I know she never meant it in a way that was insulting, I think it was actually her way of complimenting me.

Try not to take things too personally regardless of where it comes from or how it is intended . . . you are you and no-one can judge you.

You can also tell someone who makes that social faux pas that you don't appreciate those kinds of comments. Usually that nips it in the bud unles they were intending to be hurtful.

no don't take offense to it she didn't mean any harm. My partners mother is from another country and she sometimes says things to me that make me feel a bit embarrassed but she doesn't mean any harm. Also her mastery of English is Intermediate. Your friend I'm sure loves you and was just saying what she thought you were comfortable with hearing.

For example she was cooking for me before my pre-op diet and my partners mother said at the table "take a mental picture because you're not going to eat this again until you're muscle man." I was like "uhh, gee thanks." But we laughed about it and moved on.

Edited November 13, 2009 by Odjii

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,282]

Hi Tracy, I know it’s so easy for any one of us to say, “well don’t listen to them” or anything like that. I won’t though because I know I would be hurt too by those comments.

In fact I KNOW I would have been because I’ve gotten plenty myself. I remember how I felt at that time.

All I can offer is an ear to hear. I’m so sorry that happened to you, and I truly truly understand.

Hugs.

[steelergirl 0]

Ok TracyNYC, here you go!

I think fluffy people don't like to give it back because we want to be invisible and know that the first thing a person is going to say if they want to put is down is comment on our weight... So that part is over... it's been said in so many words so now you just come back at em! EVERYONE has a flaw... Find the flaw and give them information on how to fix it.

Big nose, pimples, bad hair, bad makeup, bad breath, wrinkles, ugly clothes. yada yada yada...

You can pass on some names of plastic surgeons, cut out magazine advertisments for beauty products, or the lastest fasions, breath mints... I am sure they would appreciate your helpful hints... Just like they thought you would appreciate the diet they took the time to give you. Be just as helpful back.

Love this!

[john47 0]

Why does the world think they can tell me I am fat? It is not like I don't know.

Today I was in the teachers' lounge and the gym teacher was wearing her heavy coat. The custodian was teasing her about being cold. She and I always joke back and forth b/c she is from Jamaica and always cold, and I don't wear a coat until at least December. Anyway, the custodian asked me if I was cold and I said no. Well this teacher says, "That is because you have all that extra flesh." I was so mad. I have told her that I was mad that another teacher handed me a diet on the first day of school and always comments on my weight. I really expressed my annoyance. She also has told me that I look like Roseanne and Rosie. The kids have picked up on this and I don't like it.

I have had people I barely know say things to me. What right does anyone have to say anything about my size?

Thanks for letting me vent, LOL

Tell her you know that you are fat but on the other hand she is a wrinkled up old and ugly cow. The main difference being that you will soon be thin, whereas she is stuck with that face for the rest of her life :biggrin::biggrin:

[greytz 4]

I feel bad for people who are so insecure and ridiculously ignorant that they hurt other people. I love the old song called Harper Valley PTA. Anybody know it? I am aging myself but anyway they jump on a mother about how she dresses and lives her life and she comes back with all their skeletons about their affairs and drinking etc. There is NO one on this earth that doesn't have something they need to fix or improve in their life whether it be physical, emotional or mental. In my estimation, the people who don't know any better than to be rude need to work on their mental part. You know you have began a journey that will change your life. You know you will look better than they ever thought about soon. That's all that matters.

[Just-Ice 1]

I feel bad for people who are so insecure and ridiculously ignorant that they hurt other people. I love the old song called Harper Valley PTA. Anybody know it? I am aging myself but anyway they jump on a mother about how she dresses and lives her life and she comes back with all their skeletons about their affairs and drinking etc. There is NO one on this earth that doesn't have something they need to fix or improve in their life whether it be physical, emotional or mental. In my estimation, the people who don't know any better than to be rude need to work on their mental part. You know you have began a journey that will change your life. You know you will look better than they ever thought about soon. That's all that matters.

OMG! That song was on in the gas station today when I paid for my gas. I have always loved that song. My mom played it when I was a kid (I'm 38 now.) GREAT lesson in that song.

[Rangergirl 0]

Way to go Cruzlady & Apples2! Woohoo!

[PSJ71 0]

Why does the world think they can tell me I am fat? It is not like I don't know.

Today I was in the teachers' lounge and the gym teacher was wearing her heavy coat. The custodian was teasing her about being cold. She and I always joke back and forth b/c she is from Jamaica and always cold, and I don't wear a coat until at least December. Anyway, the custodian asked me if I was cold and I said no. Well this teacher says, "That is because you have all that extra flesh." I was so mad. I have told her that I was mad that another teacher handed me a diet on the first day of school and always comments on my weight. I really expressed my annoyance. She also has told me that I look like Roseanne and Rosie. The kids have picked up on this and I don't like it.

I have had people I barely know say things to me. What right does anyone have to say anything about my size?

Thanks for letting me vent, LOL

You know, it has always amazed me at how people can get away with saying things like that and also being prejudiced against people who are heavy. Like one of the other posters said, if you had made a comment about her being Jamaican or if she happened to be of another race, then that would be grounds for harrassment. It really unnerves me that this type of behavior is acceptable!

If a person says something sexual that makes another person uncomfortable, then they can file sexual harrassment on them. So, how come if someone makes a comment about being fat and it makes a person uncomfortable, then why can't there be repercussions there? I guess I'll never know.

Don't let that idiot get you down, because she is obviously an idiot.

take care,

Paulette

[happy2lose 0]

Why does the world think they can tell me I am fat? It is not like I don't know.

Today I was in the teachers' lounge and the gym teacher was wearing her heavy coat. The custodian was teasing her about being cold. She and I always joke back and forth b/c she is from Jamaica and always cold, and I don't wear a coat until at least December. Anyway, the custodian asked me if I was cold and I said no. Well this teacher says, "That is because you have all that extra flesh." I was so mad. I have told her that I was mad that another teacher handed me a diet on the first day of school and always comments on my weight. I really expressed my annoyance. She also has told me that I look like Roseanne and Rosie. The kids have picked up on this and I don't like it.

I have had people I barely know say things to me. What right does anyone have to say anything about my size?

Thanks for letting me vent, LOL

I can totally relate to this. Some people are such assholes. Please forgive the language as this is the only name that comes to mind.

I have found some of the most educated people are the rudest of them all. In my case, I am pretty outspoken and generally my thoughts come out of my mouth unfiltered when I am around people like this.

I wouldn't hesitate to put them in their place if I were you.

[LoriLeeAnne 1]

Ok TracyNYC, here you go!

I think fluffy people don't like to give it back because we want to be invisible and know that the first thing a person is going to say if they want to put is down is comment on our weight... So that part is over... it's been said in so many words so now you just come back at em! EVERYONE has a flaw... Find the flaw and give them information on how to fix it.

Big nose, pimples, bad hair, bad makeup, bad breath, wrinkles, ugly clothes. yada yada yada...

You can pass on some names of plastic surgeons, cut out magazine advertisments for beauty products, or the lastest fasions, breath mints... I am sure they would appreciate your helpful hints... Just like they thought you would appreciate the diet they took the time to give you. Be just as helpful back.

Wow! I LOVE this advice! Thank you~

[smitten kitten 0]

It is true that some people are rude . . . but sometimes they don't even realize it. If she is from a different country, perhaps it is not considered so bad to joke around about it.

I think this is so true. I live in a country where it's normal to be blunt about weight. It's nothing for a Korean person to publicly ask questions about how much you weigh, what you eat, and make comments that as a North American I find insensitive. But to them it's just how things are - most people don't mean to come off rude. The only difference here is that I live in their country, and so I have to adjust to the cultural norms; sorta the same way I would expect the woman from Jamaica too. Then again, since most Americans can be rude about it (as proven by posts here), she probably doesn't think she is saying anything wrong. If I were the OP I would tell my co-worker what she said affected me negatively. Perhaps if her behavior is called out she'll think twice about making comments in the future.

By the way OP, maybe I'm mistaken, but didn't you post about your boss telling everyone that you were having the surgery? If that was you, I feel so sorry that you have to work with so many idiots!

[Chele6378 0]

My partners mom was describing a woman one time and talking about how fat she was and said "I mean, Michele, she's bigger than you!" She didn't even realize how rude it was until my partner called her later in the evening after we left. My partner and her mom both have a "filter" problem but that comment was just mean!

It was more than 2 years ago that she said it and I still can't let it go. How awful is it that someone can burn something so hurtful into your memory.