ON Wednesday, I went with two friends to visit another friend in the hospital. We were all talking when the nurse came in and began doing something, I'm not sure what it was. She seemed friendly enough, but at one point in our conversation, she stopped, came very close to me and asked, "What's wrong with your eyes?"

I should explain that I have cataracts, and had cornea transplants when I was a child. The cataracts have given my eyes a filmy appearance.

One of my friends said, "She's blind."

The nurse said, "Yes, but what's wrong with your eyes? What happened to them?"

My friend said, "Well, that's really rude."

The nurse patted me on the arm, and said, "I'm sorry, dear." Though she may have been sincere, that too, I found condescending.

I grew up hearing comments like, "She'd be cute if she wore glasses," (When I was in college, and much thinner.) Children have asked what happened to my eyes. I answer them, because it's important for me to explain blindness to them. Some kids, sadly, including relatives, used to scream when they saw my eyes, and for that reason I did wear dark glasses for a time. But I met a friend in college who said to me, "Take off those glasses. I want to see your face." I have worn glasses very rarely since then. I've asked most of my friends and they don't seem to find my eyes difficult to look at. Dark glasses also cut down on the amount of light I'm able to see. That's all I can see, maybe an occasional shadow.

Anyway, my best friend, who was with me, went on to say that she thought this nurse was very unprofessional. My friend who was in the hospital said the nurse came back later, and she told the nurse the same thing, adding, "You don't know that woman, and there are much more tactful ways to ask about something like that."

At the time it happened, I was just stunned. But later on, it made me sad, because it reminded me of how I felt when I was a child, and in college. I even had one doctor say to my sister, "That's a shame," referring to my blindness.

My best friend did speak to the floor supervisor, and is considering writing a letter to someone in administration.

If you've gotten this far, thank you for reading this. I guess I just needed to vent, but I didn't want to put it in the rants and raves forum, so if this is the wrong place for this, I apologize.

Debbie

Debbie,

I'm glad your friend said something. That nurse sounds like she was a bit wacko to me, but that doesn't take away her crassness/rudeness. Take care, Nancy.

Debbie,

You are right - the nurse was rude and her behavior was uncalled for and unprofessional. I'm so sorry that happened to you and made you dig up old feelings. My sister works for a facility that empowers people with disabilities. It was started by a man who was in a wheelchair, spent forever in hospitals and rehabs and wanted to live on his own. He realized his dream and went on to help countless people with many different disabilities. I wish "your" nurse could spend a day there, watching the hearing impaired on the phone, the girl with CP using her scooter to get to the bus stop or the young lady with her assist dog. Hopefully, she'd realized that people are people and just want to get by in this world. She has no excuse for her rudeness and should have behaved in a professional manner.

My other thought is for you to get a big assist dog, find the nurse, and sic the dog on her! Just kidding.

Again, I'm sorry you had to go thru that. Sometimes, there's just no cure for stupid. Hang in there and good luck with your band.

ThePoolGirl

Thank you, Nancy, and ThePoolGirl. I like the idea of getting a guide dog and sicking it on the nurse! :frown: I have friends that have dogs. Too bad they're not trained to attack insensitive people!

Debbie

Debbie I'll ship you my 100 lb rescue dog with fear based anxiety issues, should do the trick! Take care, Nancy.

I work with kids whom had disabilities, like Down's and such. When I'm out in public, I have to deal with a lot of insensitive people, I feel like smacking half of them. Especially the one's that grab their kids, as if to shield them from Down's Syndrome, like it's contagious. W/their actions, they are passing down their prejudices and it pisses me off.

But, a nurse should know better. If I encounter someone I don't know with a disability, such as being wheelchair bound or blind, and I'm curious about how that person ended up in a wheelchair (accident or disease like MS) or how someone lost their sight, I ask "Do you mind me asking how you Came to be in the wheelchair," Or, "Do you mind me asking how you lost your sight?" I also tell people if they don't feel like talking about it, feel free to tell me to bug off.

I guess it's all in the approach. And no, serenity55, you shouldn't have to hide your face. And yes, I like the idea of an attack seeing eye-dog, as well.

Nancy, send your dog. I love it!

Kristine, I've experienced that kind of behavior from people. I'll be in a store, for instance, and a child will ask, "Mommy, what's wrong with that lady's eyes?" The mother will shush the kid and probably go down another aisle.

When people ask about my blindness the way you ask about disability, I have no problem answering questions; in fact, I think it's really important for me to educate and be educated. As someone who has been blind since birth, there are lots of visual cues I wasn't aware of for years. It was the same friend who told me to take off the glasses that explained so much about sight to me.

Thank you both.

Debbie.

ON Wednesday, I went with two friends to visit another friend in the hospital. We were all talking when the nurse came in and began doing something, I'm not sure what it was. She seemed friendly enough, but at one point in our conversation, she stopped, came very close to me and asked, "What's wrong with your eyes?"

I should explain that I have cataracts, and had cornea transplants when I was a child. The cataracts have given my eyes a filmy appearance.

One of my friends said, "She's blind."

The nurse said, "Yes, but what's wrong with your eyes? What happened to them?"

My friend said, "Well, that's really rude."

The nurse patted me on the arm, and said, "I'm sorry, dear." Though she may have been sincere, that too, I found condescending.

I grew up hearing comments like, "She'd be cute if she wore glasses," (When I was in college, and much thinner.) Children have asked what happened to my eyes. I answer them, because it's important for me to explain blindness to them. Some kids, sadly, including relatives, used to scream when they saw my eyes, and for that reason I did wear dark glasses for a time. But I met a friend in college who said to me, "Take off those glasses. I want to see your face." I have worn glasses very rarely since then. I've asked most of my friends and they don't seem to find my eyes difficult to look at. Dark glasses also cut down on the amount of light I'm able to see. That's all I can see, maybe an occasional shadow.

Anyway, my best friend, who was with me, went on to say that she thought this nurse was very unprofessional. My friend who was in the hospital said the nurse came back later, and she told the nurse the same thing, adding, "You don't know that woman, and there are much more tactful ways to ask about something like that."

At the time it happened, I was just stunned. But later on, it made me sad, because it reminded me of how I felt when I was a child, and in college. I even had one doctor say to my sister, "That's a shame," referring to my blindness.

My best friend did speak to the floor supervisor, and is considering writing a letter to someone in administration.

If you've gotten this far, thank you for reading this. I guess I just needed to vent, but I didn't want to put it in the rants and raves forum, so if this is the wrong place for this, I apologize.

Debbie

Frankly, as I was reading this, I was thinking to myself "what kind of nurse has never seen a cataract". That would upset me more than anything she said (knowing such a person with limited experience might be somehow involved in my care).

Frankly, as I was reading this, I was thinking to myself "what kind of nurse has never seen a cataract". That would upset me more than anything she said (knowing such a person with limited experience might be somehow involved in my care).

You might be surprised Plain, to hear the so-called professionals' attitude toward blind and visually impaired people. I can only speak for the population of which I am a part, and I've heard quite a few stories about doctors and nurses who you'd think would know better.

(Come to think of it, maybe you wouldn't be surprised. Maybe you'd just shake your head and say, Tsk Tsk!) :sad smile:

Debbie