Finding Comfort Strategies to Replace Emotional Eating

MelissaMcCreery · April 9, 2009

A client just asked: “I know I use for comfort and to soothe myself. What can I do instead?” That is such a common question—and one that can be so difficult to answer–especially in the moment. When we want comfort, food can seem like such a quick, easy, accessible fix.

I recommend that you spend some time generating a list of possible comfort strategies. They won’t all fit in every situation, but options are always helpful. When you start to put together your list of ideas, be sure that you avoid some of these common traps:

What comfort strategies are NOT:

A comfort strategy is not a “should.” It’s not uncommon, when I ask someone to think about what they could do instead of eating for comfort, to hear, “Well, what I should do is . . “ Followed by some task that’s about as appealing as taking out the garbage. I’ve heard everything from, “I should really just clean out the garage,” to “do some ab work” and “pay bills.” Turning to a task on your to-do list in order to distract yourself from eating is indeed a strategy, but it’s not a COMFORT strategy. If what you are really needing is comfort, expecting yourself to do a hard or unpleasant thing instead is not going to fill the bill. You may end up with a feeling of accomplishment, but you won’t feel comforted.

A comfort strategy is usually not difficult or high-maintenance. Be realistic. If you are seeking comfort, do you usually have a lot of energy or motivation to go out of your way to make something happen? If you do, then having a comfort strategy that requires a 20 mile drive or a lot of set up might work for you. Many people turn to food because it is easy and convenient and quick. Apply those same rules to comfort strategies. What can you have on your list that is easily within reach? One woman I know took this literally. She put her knitting project in the cupboard where she usually goes for Snacks.

A comfort strategy has to fit YOU. The same strategies won’t work for everyone. Reading a list of ideas might be helpful, but the most successful approach is likely to come when you take the time to sit down and think about yourself. What are you needing or wanting in those moments when you want to eat? Identify the kind of activities or alternatives that might fit for you.

Here’s a list of possible comfort strategies that was generated by a recent group discussion:

Paint

Go for a walk

Go to the bookstore and read

Put on music that I love

Knit

Call a friend

Visit a message board or forum or Facebook and spend time online

Journal

(When at work)—Change tasks, take a walk around the office, make a cup of tea

Taking a nap or going to bed early

Take some time to develop your own list of possible strategies. Then be sure to put it somewhere where it's easy to find and refer to at the appropriate time.

Feel free to reprint on your own website, newsletter, blog or message board as long as you include the following: Melissa McCreery, PhD, ACC is a psychologist, certified life coach, and the founder of Enduring Change Coaching (http://www.enduringchange.com) , a company that specializes in providing programs and resources to help women worldwide create the lives they’ve been craving and weight loss that lasts. Her newest program, the Weight Loss Winner’s Circle (http://www.weightlosswinnerscircle.com) helps women stay on track, stay out of self-sabotage, and have positive support as they meet their weight loss goals.

maryrose · April 11, 2009

Thank You Melissa for such a great post.

This has been something I am trying to come to terms with. You make a really great point as far as making these comfort strategies something enjoyable and not a task.

I find I comfort eat when I am really tired and want an instant comfort "fix" and taking a nice warm bath instead is just something I do not feel like doing at that point.

Not having these comfort foods in the house to begin with is very important.

A few things that have helped -

Filing my fingernails

Putting on lotion

Looking at the before and after photos here

Putting on whitening strips (this keeps my mouth busy)

Admiring some of my new smaller clothes in the closet

and maybe sorting things out that don't fit anymore

Listening to my I-tunes and surfing the net

Crazy4MyK9 · April 28, 2009

Dear Melissa and Maryrose,

I'm so glad I came across this post. I haven't visited this web site for a few months now, and this post is exactly what I needed to try to get on track. Emotional eating is my biggest problem, and I'm sabotaging my weight loss.

Tomorrow I will work on my comfort strategies list!

Fingers crossed.

Anne

MelissaMcCreery · April 28, 2009

Anne and Maryrose,

I'm so glad that you found the article helpful. Things like "how to find comfort strategies" are topics that I like to write about because so many people are struggling, trying NOT to do things, but they really aren't sure what to do INSTEAD.

Melissa

blog: http://www.PeaceWithCake.com

website: http://www.EnduringChange.com