Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

My own friends don't notice???



Recommended Posts

Abby I had a big falling out with 2 of my closest friends. They are both quite large and really have their noses out of joint since I lost weight. They do things like roll their eyes when people comment on my weight loss or make loud comments like yeah she lost it and we've found it. They told me I am self centered now and I only think about clothes and food, which is so not true. I'm deeply hurt by their reaction and slowly coming to terms with the fact that I've lost 2 very close friends because as far as i'm concerned friends should be there to support each other and they haven't been there for me. Keep up the good work, you are doing a great job!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm down 70 and have a few friends who have said nothing. I'm sure they just don't know what to say. It's fine. Funny, though, that I always hated the comments about previous weight loss attempts because they made me feel I was the center of attention and wasn't comfortable with it. Now I wouldn't mind hearing it, and they don't know how to say it.

I've taken to quietly taking photos of myself in a full-length mirror and living on my own affirmations and those I get from the ones brave enough to comment.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's funny...I have friends and family who constantly still commend me, some who still make a big "KUDOS" about it, some who are NOW my friends (ha!), some who no longer talk to me...but what really disturbs me, still a sister who adores me but has yet to say anything personally to me about it all since the day I told her I was having the surgery. Then I heard her tell my mom once I left the room..."it took me 3 skirts to try on today before I found one that fits..." She's never been one in our family to voice her concerns/opinions. But I know where she puts them...in the Lord's hands, as should I with everyone else I see each day!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had to lose about 55 lbs both this time and when I did nutrisystem before anyone said, hey have you lost weight? Maybe you carry the weight so well people dont notice that you lost 35 lbs. It will be subtle in your face and most people cant tell inches until its really obvious. I think they only noticed when I changed clothes and wasnt wearing the old clothes they were used to seeing me in rather than that it was obvious I had lost.

Just tell yourself you are doing this for you, because you cant depend on folks to support you except for the online community here who gets it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I totally understand how you feel. None of my coworkers know I have the band. I have lost almost 50 pounds and only one has said something about it. Not a word from the others even though my scrubs are falling off and I know they have to notice. I also think it is jealousy. But I try not to let it get to me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have a good one for you guys. My mother-in-law, who never ever resisted the opportunity through the years to comment in front of the whole family about my being overweight, hoping my christmas clothing gift was BIG ENOUGH, etc. has not said 1 flippin thing about my weight lossa. NADDA. Just keeps me more focused to succeed. Bring it on woman..lol.

Go figure.

:thumbup:

As for the others, I think like the others have said, they just don't want to say..JEE...you lost a lot of weight, meaning we had a lot of weight to lose previously. I think that is mostly what it is.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Don't worry. We all notice eachothers losses. You did GREAT!!!! Jealousy can be a nasty state of affairs. Just tell yourself, it's THEIR problem now. Not yours, and SMILE!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

oh wow, that is exactly what i am experiencing. my MIA and certain other friends have not asked me "how are you" "wow you look great" since my surgery 6 weeks ago. it just galls me. when ever i see anyone at work or whoever lose weight i make a big fuss about it because i like to see people feel good. sometimes people are just ignorant. oh they notice and they are letting that ugly green face show.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Abbey,

You know what you have accomplished and you know you deserve compliments BUT for whatever reason these people just don't get it. I have lost 60+ pounds and peoples reaction is a big joke because you would not believe the comments I get like "Wow you look great... oh its your new hair style!" come on now if a new hair style could make you look 60 pounds thinner the stylist would be so busy you couldn't get in for an appointment. THink about it this way; what they don't say is louder (which is GIRL you look great) than what they say( which is nothing)! Hang in there the good comments are on the way! Like yesterday I went into a shop that has one side Plus sizes the other size regular sizes and when I went to pay the cashier said "wow you look great , didn't you used toshop on the other side. SO hang on the comments are on the way.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey Abby,

Funny you should mention this. Women are....unpredictable. OMG!! It would have been nice to hear a "How's it going, you look great". It wouldn't have caused a need for any further talk on the subject unless you wanted to. I choose not to think that all women are envious and that all people are hurtful. 35 pounds, inches, etc. is definitely worth celebrating. I'm sending a big southern CONGRATULATIONS your way cause you deserve it. Instead of worrying about these "friends/girls" I suggest that you draw your support from the people most willing to give it. Your DH is one of them along with the wonderful people here on this site. Never feel bad about celebrating your hard earned successes. Best of everything to ya!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

As for the others, I think like the others have said, they just don't want to say..JEE...you lost a lot of weight, meaning we had a lot of weight to lose previously. I think that is mostly what it is.

I agree with this statement for sure. I have felt that way when I have seen someone that I think has lost weight, I am afraid that my compliment will be misconstrued. Which really is silly because if someone complimented me, I certainly wouldn't take it like that!

I think some people don't say anything because to them you are just the same person and the outside doesn't mean much to them. My DH is like that, he never says anything about how much weight I lose. But on the other hand, he doesn't say anything about how much I gain as well!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My husband is the same way. He never said anything when I was heavier and he doesn't say anything now.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • vsg.with.sharon

      Hey everyone!
      I’m new here! Looking for some friends! 🥰
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×