:unhappy:

Hi all,

Physically I'm fine. Emotionally? That's another story. I alternate between being irritable, and wanting to cry. I think about food all the time, the fact that I can't eat the way I used to.

But the truth is, I don't really WANT the stuff I think about--huge hamburgers, tacos, and I don't think about sweets at all, which is really weird. What I'm trying to say is that I don't feel that physical craving, but there's this emotional attachment, and I'm not sure if I'm grieving, or fighting to hold on to something that can never be the same. I'm three weeks post op, and can have mushies, which is great, but I'm also afraid of gaining weight. I don't want to fail, but ...

Is any of this making sense to anyone? Can someone help me?

Debbie

Edited March 3, 200917 yr by serenity55

Yes, I agree; my food issues are definitely emotional. If I am being honest with myself, I know that I'm not having a physical craving.

I guess I should be grateful that I'm aware of what's going on, and I really appreciate your responses, Simon and Misty. It helps when I remember that I'm not terminally unique, not the only one who is, or has, or will go through this.

Sometimes I'm better than others. It's a little harder this evening. If I can just get to the point where it doesn't feel like it so all-consuming!

Debbie

Serenity55, i went thru the same thing my food issues where so bad i turn to food when i was happy or sad,bored. so when i could not eat i felt so alone, food was my best friend it was allways there when i wanted,but slowly i realize that i had to find a new friend so i turned to water and exercise, know i feel so much better about food its just there i dont have the same love that i had or i should say addiction. stay strong this is hard but you will be much better soon. have a wonderfull sunday and remember that you can do it.

Thank you, sexylips.

This morning I went out to breakfast for my best friend's birthday. I read somewhere, just recently on this site, that it takes about twenty minutes for the stomach to get the message that it's full, which is why it's a good idea to eat slowly.

I guess the swelling has really gone down, because I felt like I could have eaten a whole lot more, but, sure enough, about twenty minutes later, I was feeling quite content.

I'm going to try to just take it one

day at a time, and realize when I'm hungry and focus on something else, or allow myself a snack of some sort.

Edited March 8, 200917 yr by serenity55

I'm feeling a lot of the same things, and I'm just beginning to get my "ducks in a row" to plan for surgery. I actually first considered surgery in 2003 and when I had my initial appointment and heard that you could no longer eat "normally" again (no diet coke, soft foods, etc.), I decided it was crazy to have surgery - I should be able to do this on my own! Well, here I am 5 years later, heavier than ever, and realizing - I can't do it on my own! It's really hard to come to the realization that I am an addict! Food is my drug of choice! I'm also feeling like after the surgery I'll be a "freak" - never able to just sit down at the table at eat like everyone else. Everyone around me thinks I'm such a strong person. I feel like I'm living a lie, and I'm about to be found out!!! I'm weak, weak, weak when it comes to controlling how much I eat. (Oh yeah, like they can't tell that we they look at my overweight body . . . ) Thanks so much for your posts - they really help me to see I'm not he only one feeling this way.

I'm afraid my emotions will get worse before they get better. Like I said, I don't even have a surgery date yet . . . . my husband is going to have a hard time understanding all of my emotions - any advice on helping him along ? ? ? :thumbup: