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Need Lap Band Buddy / Mentor Help! I'm A HUGE Failure!



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Or, at last that's how I feel. I was banded almost a year ago now -- 2/2/08 -- and I've lost a grand total of 25 lbs. including 8 lbs. pre-surgery. I don't know why I thought the lap band would be the answer for me when I couldn't lose weight (no discipline -- food just calls out to me), before surgery. I've learned how to eat around the band and I eat around it all the time. I feel like such a stupid loser -- no pun intended.

I'm 55 years old and those who know me think of me as a strong, successful woman. I don't think of myself that way, however. I'm really just sick of myself is what I am.

If you're the type of person who can be a strong mentor and "show me the way," then I'm all ears. I really do need help.

Thanks for listening.

bonnie

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I feel as though I am in the same boat as you...I was banded May 12, 2008. I was 288.3 pounds on the day of surgery. This morning I was 277.5. Now...part of it I know is Water weight - and Aunt Flow is supposed to be here. I've also been eating around my band by eating things that are "easy" and won't get stuck. I'm still learning. I have to learn to not be so impatient with myself. I also signed up at the gym and went three times last week...and I will be there for the third day today after work. I told myself that I HAVE to make time for ME to do what I need to do...and that is to get into the habit of exercising, so pretty soon it will be automatic. I'm proud of this one accomplishment for me and have to remember to take this journey one day at a time. I don't know if I can be a mentor to you, but maybe we can check in with each other and see how the other one is doing?? I'm willing if you are.

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I may not seem the most appropruate person to help you - male, different continent - but I do relate to your post.

I'm 51, had the band for about 14 months now and am in the maintenance phase. The person I was is a memory and I'm looking forward to the rest of my life with renewed vigour, health and optimism.

Check out my web, blog and images (addresses in my signature) to get an idea of who I am. If you think that I can help you, I'd be pleased to.

YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE! Let's get that straight right now. You just need support, time and guidance. You'll find that a plenty in these forums.

Take care, and get in touch if you would like me to mentor you.

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I feel as though I am in the same boat as you...I was banded May 12, 2008. I was 288.3 pounds on the day of surgery. This morning I was 277.5. Now...part of it I know is Water weight - and Aunt Flow is supposed to be here. I've also been eating around my band by eating things that are "easy" and won't get stuck. I'm still learning. I have to learn to not be so impatient with myself. I also signed up at the gym and went three times last week...and I will be there for the third day today after work. I told myself that I HAVE to make time for ME to do what I need to do...and that is to get into the habit of exercising, so pretty soon it will be automatic. I'm proud of this one accomplishment for me and have to remember to take this journey one day at a time. I don't know if I can be a mentor to you, but maybe we can check in with each other and see how the other one is doing?? I'm willing if you are.

I'm in! How do you want to do this? I need a daily buddy with whom I can correspond and report to -- own up to -- commit to. Are you ready to go on this journey with me and be successful?

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I may not seem the most appropruate person to help you - male, different continent - but I do relate to your post.

I'm 51, had the band for about 14 months now and am in the maintenance phase. The person I was is a memory and I'm looking forward to the rest of my life with renewed vigour, health and optimism.

Check out my web, blog and images (addresses in my signature) to get an idea of who I am. If you think that I can help you, I'd be pleased to.

YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE! Let's get that straight right now. You just need support, time and guidance. You'll find that a plenty in these forums.

Take care, and get in touch if you would like me to mentor you.

YES -- I'd love if you'd mentor me! How and when do we get started? I'm desperate!

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Or, at last that's how I feel. I was banded almost a year ago now -- 2/2/08 -- and I've lost a grand total of 25 lbs. including 8 lbs. pre-surgery. I don't know why I thought the lap band would be the answer for me when I couldn't lose weight (no discipline -- food just calls out to me), before surgery. I've learned how to eat around the band and I eat around it all the time. I feel like such a stupid loser -- no pun intended.

I'm 55 years old and those who know me think of me as a strong, successful woman. I don't think of myself that way, however. I'm really just sick of myself is what I am.

If you're the type of person who can be a strong mentor and "show me the way," then I'm all ears. I really do need help.

Thanks for listening.

bonnie

I am curious, when was your last fill?

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YES -- I'd love if you'd mentor me! How and when do we get started? I'm desperate!

Great - probably the best way is for you to email me at steve@milward.org.uk and give me an update as to exactly how you're doing. The more information you can give me the better. Also, any questions, big or small, that you may have. Don't forget to ask the questions that you may think are silly ones - they won't be!

Let's get this going straight away. Drop me an email when you can.

Take care

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My last fill was 6-weeks ago and I'm now at 7.1 cc in a 10cc band. I have restriction, but I constantly eat foods that slip through the band. I can't eat chicken because it makes me slime. I wish I could be satisfied with a simple fish and veggie dinner, but I'm not. I crave, crave, crave chips and ice-cream. I want to get off this unhealthy roller coaster.

I am curious, when was your last fill?

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Bonnie

Sorry for your struggles - {hugs} - and have a little recommendation here since you have restriction but have been eating around your band - and KNOW this is all said with love & concern for you - Have you considered seeing a counselor??? There are alot of pple who see them in connection with their bands..

IMHO the majority of our problems are in our heads and not our tummies... Cuz I still want to eat even when I am physically full - I don't eat around my band - but I am totally there with you on the head hunger issue and that's all craving candy and chips is...

I see you have a mentor already - but feel free to visit us on "I'm here to Help" thread - I am very much known for my tough band love (operative word being love). I will give you that kick in the butt when you need it really hate excuses and will tell you when I think you are making them but in a nice not rude way..

You just gotta get your mind in the right place - it is doable you can achieve your goals...

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I know it's in my head and not in my tummy, that's for sure. The man from England who offered to mentor me hasn't replied to my email -- I think he's disappeared. I could really use a hard knox mentor! I've talked to therapists about my eating problem in the past and it hasn't worked. I want to get control of my problem more than anything else in the world and I want to be successful. I'm hoping someone here can help me -- I know I have to take responsibility for my own actions and no one can help me with that. I'm not a sniveling, helpless, victim-type -- in real life I'm a very optimistic, powerful woman with tons of friends and acquaintances. I don't get what's going on with me. I'm like Oprah -- except she can apparently stay on a diet -- she just gains it all back. I can't seem to stick to a diet -- but I'm good at maintaining. Go figure.

bonnie

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I can't find the "I'm Here To Help," thread. Can you give me a pointer on how to find it? I'm tracking my calories on Daily Planet today. Yay!

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I know it's in my head and not in my tummy, that's for sure. The man from England who offered to mentor me hasn't replied to my email -- I think he's disappeared.

Nope I'm here. Your email didn't require a reply.

But if you'd like someone else, feel free.

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I can't find the "I'm Here To Help," thread. Can you give me a pointer on how to find it? I'm tracking my calories on Daily Planet today. Yay!

Bonnie Here's the link

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f260/im-here-help-64725/index130.html

Tracking is good !! If you are good at maintaining - the damn it girl we will get you to maintenance !!!! This isn't a diet #1 - we are just eating healthy.... Come to my thread - post then start at page one and start reading - it may help you some...

See you there !!!

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Hey Bonnie - my work email is kstentzel@multiserv.com - I'm there every day from 6:30 AM to 3 PM M-F. On weekends and evenings, I can be reached through k.stentzel@verizon.net. Give me a shout!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

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