Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

My Husband died during my program



Recommended Posts

Hi, my name is Linda. I am just finishing a year long program to prep for LapBand surgery. During the summer I lost my husband of 38 years to a heart attack. I thought at first that I would just discontinue my program, I didn't feel I could go on; but I returned to my program after 2 months. I knew that my husband would want me to be healthy and not lost in grief to my detriment. I had gained 12 - 15 pounds very quickly after his passing. It was a real struggle to take it back off so I would qualify to be presented. At first I was very resistant to having to go through the nutritionist, physical therapist, psychologist, and support groups; now I am so thankful that they were required. I have learned so much about not only the whole surgical process and how to maximize the effeciency of the surgery, but also about my self and how I deal with the ups and downs of life. We did the program in small groups and I found a new friend in my group and she has been a great support and help. I highly recommend learning as much as you can about the surgery and the necessary diet, and finding some good support systems to help you through the hard parts. My best wishes to you all for success and joy in your life. Linda P.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Let me say, I'm sorry for your loss.

Look at you finding strength at a time when it would be easy not to. You will do very well with the surgery, etc and everything that come with it.

You seem like a very together, strong woman. Your friend is lucky to have met you too.

Keep us posted on your progress!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you Juli, it has been rough. I guess there are phases to grief, sometimes I am okay, and sometimes I cry at the simple mention of anything to do with him. I know I am crying for myself, for my loss of his physical presence, since I truely feel that he is now soaring in spiritual freedom... and his presence in my heart is the same it has been for all these years.

Well hey girl, you have been amazingly successful, what a great inspiration. What do you think has helped you the most? And what has been the best benefit you feel you have gained from losing so much weight? Have you had any cosmetic surgery?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The most help is exercising. People don't want to hear that but it's the truth. Always set stretch goals that are more than you can do today and work toward them.

The biggest benefit is that I feel regular. Like I don't have to justify being who I am. I just am. I don't know how that comes across, but I hope it makes sense.

And for plastic surgery, I'm hoping for it to happen this spring, there's a lot of skin on me as there was once a whole other person nearly the same weight as I am now living under this skin with me. There's quite a bit of it.

You'll be surprised at all the stuff you'll be able to do. Not just with the weight but with your determination. You've got so much a head of you. And so much of it is positive. Watch out, it'll be be quite a ride, but an awesome one.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes, regular exercise has been the one thing that has kept me feeling good, both physically and mentally. I do laps and range of motion exercises in the pool, usually 5 - 7 days a week. I'm not able to walk due to knee condition and it is difficult to do floor exercises due to my lower back pain. I'm lucky we have a great county pool only a short drive away, and usually good enough weather to swim year round. I've been doing the pool routine for over a couple of years, and yet haven't lost a lot of weight, inches yes, but weight still bobbling around the same numbers on the scale. I also have an inactive thyroid (take synthroid) as well as diabetes, the exercise really helps me keep the diabetes under control. Sometimes I really have to "drag" myself to the pool, but once in I don't want to get out, being "weightless" in the Water seems like the only time I really feel graceful anymore.

Thank you all for your encouragement and kind remarks. I appreciate it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am so sorry for your loss. Keep moving forward and give yourself the gift of health. Do this for you and do this for your family.

Best wishes.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 1 reply
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×