Hey everyone going through Kaiser Richmond!!

Where are you in the process?

Heather what did they say the divorce rate was?? Im quite curious. My husband has gone crazy! I cant text someone without him asking who, he wanted to go on my interview and he went with me not in but stayed in the car... he doesnt trust me at all anymore. Doesnt help our work situation so hes jealous that i had an interview, hes driving me inscane.

He hates how guys look at me and he teases all my guy friends. He never dealt with me skinny but this is INSCANE! Ive left him once i told him i can do it again. I think hes also jealous that im smaller then him now thats never been a situation in our relationship.

So yeah some hubbies can go nuts on ya. I tell him often he needs to pull it together or ill leave.

So i did my walk with weights and boy oh boy my arms are killin me.. i do punching bag on active so i was like what the heck lets do it, so i did ouchie wowow... thats wayharder with a weight in ur hand. so it says in 30 min i burned 298 cals. Pretty good for just a walk. Oh and today after i left you ladies we went to the rocklin thing so for 2.5 hrs i was trying to push a unbrella stroller around in 7inches of grass lol. We had to leave early cause it was so bad that auds and i were soaked and she was very red!

Edited June 28, 200917 yr by AudsMom

Jes, my only commitments are Mon, Wed & Thurs from 9 - 2:30. Any other time I am all your - You have my # so call me whenever you are free to walk that bridge!

I looked at a yellow one a few years back but I'm having such a hard time letting go of my car. My Niece is turning 16 next january so maybe she will get my car and I'll get a new one. MAYBE.

that is one issue I'm going to work on - my comfort zone - I'm comfortable with my car and don't like change - LOL.

oh yes Chandra, by the time I got home I was tomato red and I had left my water in the trunk. I couldn't pull over and get it cuz I was so busy trying to keep up with you...

Donna, thank you so much for letting me borrow the book, I've already read 2 chapters. I love it.

Candra, my hubby has lost 40 lbs and is at 195 and at goal. We've been married for 14 years and I've been heavy since about a year after we got married. I say that we got fat and happy together! lol

We have a very strong relationship and talk about everything. I know that 100% we will be together forever and weight (either fat or thin) will never change the way we feel about each other.

This doesn't mean that things aren't better now, because they totally are! We are much more active in the things we do as a family and when he and I are on dates or out of town, we don't focus on food as much, we have sex way more often and are more adventurous nowdays with more than 100lbs gone between the two of us, we exercise together...the list goes on and on! We are having the most fun we've had together in our entire marriage.

I'm sure there are lots of couples that end up having lots of jealousy and trust issues, and I'm so glad that he and I don't have to worry about that. I know he'll love me if I'm 300 lbs and he knows I'll be the same with him. That's why I love him.

Nicole, that sucks that he's like that with you. He better knock that stuff off or it's gonna get real old with you real quick, huh?

Once he gets a job again and is out for the day and providing for the family he'll have a nice boost for his self esteem, that'll probably help some. He's lost weight too, right? Is he happy and proud of your weight loss? Does he make you feel good about yourself?

and one more thing, thanks to all of you lovely ladies for your support and posting your journeys on this site. I've never even owned up to my dissatisfaction with my weight before, let alone talk about it online. I'd just say "I love food so what" Now I'm pumped and can't wait to start enjoying being a healthy happy person!

Yeah mikes down to 201 but still got the tummy so hes not happy with that. But he hates that guys are giving me attn. And the funny thing is i am oblivious to it!

yes it is getting old and fast. I hope when he gets a job it helps with his manly self esteem because i cant take too much of this. When someone is soo jealous and everything it MAKES me wanna venture off, and thats not right.

I love him to pieces, i just hope he gets some security! And no he doesnt compliment me the way he should. He seriously tries to sabotage me. He wants to weigh less then me and its not gonna be that way anymore. Ive actually been wondering what hes been eating lately when we go out he eats 1/2 of what i eat and im already eating not much!

Oh well hopefully things will also change when we have our own place again. I guess everything is messed up for us right now.

Ok ladies lets do it! August 8!

If we register before the 25th of july its only 25.00!!! lets do it!

Who wants to do it with me:)

We can register with a name... And then get matching shirts and have fun with it:D

http://buffalochips.ipower.com/Races/SusanB/index.htm

Edited June 28, 200917 yr by AudsMom
Lol you might want the race website..

Christine, you and your husband need to do a commercial!

Heathers Dr., My Doctor too, told her that the divorce rate for bariatric patients is 50%. But her boyfriend is like your husband, losing weight with her - I think she said he's lost 40 or 50lbs - is that right Heather? I don't think they will have any problems! It just got me to thinking is all...

I think my husband want's me to be thin again. Simply because we do have more fun when I can keep up with him.. and the sex thing too LOL. He has been making comments more about men looking at me but I really haven't lost any weight to speak of yet so.. I dont' really know where it's coming from. I do know that he loves me either way and we just have to agree to disagree with my decision to "take the easy way out".

Damn Jes, I had my cruis control set to 75 and people were passing me like crazy! Had to break out my aloevera gel :thumbup:

I'm down Nicole! As long as you all realize that I'm REALLY out of shape and will, in all honestly, probably walk the whole darn thing.

Hope your husband gets over is insecurities soon! Try to be kind and patient as he is not use to having such a beautiful wife and it takes some getting use to :thumbup:

Jes, these women are great, aren't they. I never owned up to my weight issues either but even worse, all my friends are over wieght so we just made it "OK". Like we were proud of it. We did feast together. They are the thing I mourn, not really the food but my long time friends. Ahhh,, but so many new friends now!!!

50% divorce rate for bariatric patients...isn't that the same as the 50% American marriage divorce rate? I thought it would be higher than the national average, but I'm glad it's not.

Nicole, does Mike prefer you overweight or his he enjoying the new, fitter, you? I know you've said that you've been overweight your whole life so maybe it's just taking him a while to get used to you being average size after knowing you plus-sized all these years...hopefully he'll get over it soon and just ENJOY IT! :thumbup:

Riley, I was just looking at the 10k in Tahoe in September and it looks so cool! 99% downhill too? NICE. It says it's $70...is that right? Seems kinda steep, I don't know if that'll be in our budget. Is that how much you paid for it too?

ok, ladies. gotta get ready for bed. talk to you all tomorrow

Not married so I don't have the relationship issue. But for me I am out being social again and it has been years. Feels so good I Have my life back again!!

I am very happyly single but I get the weight and marriage thing I have been there. I sorta think my husband helped me gain all the weight as a way to control me and prevent me from leaving him.........I did anyway I couldn't take the jealousy and being watched all the freakin time. I had my phone calls/emails everything screened. Took away what was special in our relationship.

I always say I outgrew him. YOu know if one person in a relationship changes or "grows" the other person either grows with them or get left behind. The person getting left behind often desparately tries to pull the one growing back down to their level or "sabateoges" them. That is life. That is why so much divorce. And I totally get it with bariatric surgery. YOu can't help but change and grow. Poeple grow together or grow apart period. Friends or Spouses.

FOr me I had to leave my marriage to grow and change. I had a choice to stay at his level with him forever and accept things were what they were or I go find my own path. Weight loss is a growing journey to be successfull we have to change and grow some poeple will get left behind.........sad but true. Sometimes if you really love someone you have to let them go to grow and be the person they were suppose to be.

I don't know that answer but I have seen and been through alot in regards to relationships and marriage. I am jealous of anyone who has a great marriage and relationship. I totally get how unique and special that is. I just didn't have them or haven't had that yet!!

Nicole I think our group is very, very close knit and we are getting closer and more bonded all the time. I think people can feel left out with all this going on. I wonder if Mike feels like he is getting left our of huge parts of your life and he is hurt?? I Don't know just a thought. I

I know I am putting other friendship to the side to be with you girls. I missed half of my 20th reunion this morning to be with you all!! You guys get me nowdays and other people don't. But I know people in my life like my sister and aunt feel left out lately.

My ex is a huge part of my weight issues........for way to many reasons to list. .......insecurity is what I can say about the way some of the men are acting lately with all you ladies. Mean who are jealous are scared to death of being left..................they just can't say the truth.............so they pull this crap. I know I have been there.........glad I am doing this alone this time. Not that I would oppose something once I feel like I have moy own life and act together. I want to have ALOT of me time before I get into another relationship!!! LOL. I like the me time and I lose that when I am in a relationship which might be my issue and less about the other person. I am a caretaker for sure and don't want anothe project right now!!

Nicole your adorable and your so full of energy and fun. I LOVE hanging out with. And girl you really had me laughint when you called Dr. Baggs the King!! Mike sees that and sees how people are attracted to you and is blown away. Maybe he is just afraid of being left behind?? I think your a blast and you laugh and joke around with me which is to much fun!!

Candra: I LOVE, LOVE, LOVED those pants. And here is a little secret. I went to the Lane Bryant outlet and found another pair on clearance for 10 bucks in size 16 I was too happy!!!

I am jealous what bridge. I didn't exercise today. I went bowling tonight for my 20th high school reunion does that count? Can't believe I went but you know I just figured what the hell I am going and had a blast!! Six months ago I wouldn't have gone. I was still the heaviest one there but I overcame my fear of going and everyone was nice..........suprizing.

Today was a blast!!! You girls this morning, my family all day than the high school reunion tonight. I am so lovling having energy and being social again.

Edited June 28, 200917 yr by swrktp

Sorry for the long email. This whole marriage and relationship things got me thinking..............

Last november when I started my lap band journey I brokw up with someone. They didn't get it and my reason was the next 6 months to a year are all about me and getting my life and health back. It was a good decision for me I have needed all the me time to get through this..........

I want another relatsionship but not until I feel like I have gotten myself emotionally and physically back together.

What they say is like attracts like. So you attract your emotional equal. That scares me because I don't want to be with someone who is my emotional equal right now!! I still have alot of work to do. Sometimes I think with bariatric surgery we are with someone who was our emotional equal when we were at our lowest emotional point and as we change our bodies and minds and grow emotionally our previous choices no longer work for us. Again we outgrow people. Eithet they grew with you or in your journey to emotional health you leave them behind. Sometimes other people don't want to change with us and we have to respect that and let go. We can only change ourselves and it is arrogant to think we can force someone to grow with us if they are not ready. So with marriage you are a part of a we but also a me. Hard balance sometimes. Relationship are dynamic not static. Both people have to constantly change and grow together for it work.

I don't know. I hate divorce and I hate what it does to people. I think people should make it work if they can but sometimes it just is what it is. And I totally get why the divorce rate is so high. Same thing with alcoholics and drug addicts they get sober and more times than not they lose their marriages and relationships. The nature of the beast when one strives to become more emotionally and spiriturally healthy is we sometimes lose things and people who we think we can't live without. But life has a way of putting other people in our life who will grow and change with us to replace what we lost. Saying goodbye is sadly a huge part of emotional growth sometimes. Nothing easy about change as we all know.........

If you tell someone what they are doing or saying is hurting you and they try to change or try to do something different keep those people around. Those people really care about you. But if they refuse to change or refuse to stop doing things that sabateage or hurt you than protect yourself and walk away. But the only way to know what kind of a person they are is to put yourself out there and tell them how you really feel. Don't assumethey already know................and in the end remember that "if someone shows you who they are..........believe them." Don't make excuses for them believe what they are telling you and saying to you and how they treat you.

Ok, ok...........seriously enough thinking I have to sleep. Sorry for all my philosophying tonight.

Food log tomorrow but I was a good girl!! No PB'ing and no over eating. Not to hungry so a good day!!!

Edited June 28, 200917 yr by swrktp