compliments

OH Juli · November 23, 2008

About men talking about women's weight. My boss who is a bit younger than me, and well versed in appropriate business language. Asked me if it were okay to make a comment on my wieght.

It went something like this, "You're looking really great, You're doing a great job with the weight loss. I hope it's okay to mention it, I don't want to be that inappropriate boss who says things he's not supposed to say. Is it okay that I make a comment?"

He's also a little humorous. I was complimented, and he was assured he didn't offend. Men who either workout or have also struggled with their weight seem to be the ones more prone to talk to me about my weight. Interesting.

flowers · November 23, 2008

I was on a board last night and outraged at the insensitivity and predudice towards overweight people. I wanted to say how bad predudice is toward people who are overweight. All predudice is WRONG. I knew I would be blown off as overweight myself or I wouldnt care, that's what folks would be thinking.

The thread was about would it be ok for her husband to wear jeans on elegant night on a cruise.

OP:

As some have insinuated how different is that than overwight people that follow the rules and look pretty bad

I said something mild, thought others would react, no one but me said a thing.

Another poster reply: I’ve started to come to the opinion that many of the people that get sooo hung up on the dress code are:
A) Way past their prime (if they ever had one) when it comes to being able to dress well. Since they know they look like a blivot and are often as wide as they are tall, one way they feel better about themselves is to criticize others and have a holier-then-thou attitude.

Have serious control issues

C) Both A) &

Obviously, if I fussed I would fall into the category he said was people who just want to control others, but I think predudice against overweight people is rampant.

At 190 lbs as some said I look better to others, but Im still overweight and I think a lot of folks still are thinking this. If they arent my close friends or family they are being judgemental. Iv been thin and I swear folks smile and are friendlier to you when you arent overweight.

I dont expect compliments, I lost weight once before and so folks are extra reluctant to say anything. Iv heard my parents make comments about me being overweight. My sister says my mom says to her, "you dont want to be like your sister, you need to watch what you are eating". I told my mom (both my parents are too thin) that being predudiced against overweight people is wrong. She may try to talk better in front of me, but behind my back even my family feels the way those posts talk. I dont expect compliments because people are still thinking "she needs to lose weight" not "boy she is looking good"

SanDiegoPhotog · November 23, 2008

OH, don't get me wrong . . . I think some men love talking about weight -- especially those who workout. But I think most men notice, but are too afraid to say anything.

cookienay · November 24, 2008

People are funny... All along, my colleagues and coworkers have been very supportive- everyone knows I had surgery. Recently one of the physicians I work with (I am an ER nurse) told me I "looked different". As we were all laughing, one of the other nurses told him I was wearing a different shade of lipstick. I had to rescue him from his confusion "Helloooo? I have lost 65 pounds." To his credit, he has not seen me in several weeks and my scrubs are waaaay too big.

THe moral of the story- some people are afraid to offend, some people are mean, and some are just plain clueless.:laugh:

Keep up the good work!!!

CapitolChick · November 24, 2008

Oh my gosh! I have been seariously ranting to my husband about this too!!! I am down 45 pounds and wearing more fitting clothes.

2 gals at work who know I had the surgery have told me it is really obvious I have lost weight, BUT there are two frienemies I have at work (skinny of course) who use their looks and tits :Banane20:to get what they want and were all nice to me when I was really heavy, but OH NO not now!

They have said not so nice things like:

"What did you do go on a shopping spree? I keep seeing you with new clothes."

So finally friday I said:

"Yes I did. All my other clothes were huge on me, since I lost 45 pounds."

One of the gals said:

"yah well I lost 20 and am down to 110"

It was soo pathetic. ..

Not to sound catty, but I make twice the money they do,have way more going for me and now that I am on the path of looking good. I think some people are jealous and threatened by that.

It is hard to believe, but some people will never grow up.