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Frustration with Family Dinners



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Again, I am unable to tell when a band is too tight or if I am just not chewing my food. But since my 2nd fill 3 weeks ago (now at 4cc) solids and I just don't agree. I think there was one day I was able to eat a pizza but that was the only time, and it wasnt until the past couple of days I have experienced Pb'ing and am afraid to eat anything. Anyway, so my dilemma here is that I am finding it discouraging to make family dinners because I feel like the odd ball unable to eat what they can it. chicken dinners are out the window for me because it hurts going down. Crab is no problem and salmon, but normal meals I just feel left out. I try so hard to keep the family meals normal because its unfair to deprive my kids and husband because of my band. For the last few months I have kept my head up, but now that I am experiencing the restriction so I am frustrated as hell with this whole dinner thing. I am trying to keep family meals as normal as possible, but I can't eat anything without the stuck feeling! My kids see when I am in distress when it happens and how I struggle and how it takes forever to come back up (I got off the subject here), but it is becoming a burden for me now. I am sick of cream of wheat and soups!

And tonight I did not feel like making dinner because of my episodes, so he offered to order in or pick it up. Well, the family is tired of pizza so chinese is the only place. And I have stared at the menu over and over trying to guess what I could possibly eat, still afraid of Pb'ing. So after an hour of staring at the menu I finally threw my hands up and started looking in the pantry to figure out dinner because its getting late. Anyway, I blew up at hubby and told him I did not want to cook and that he and the kids need to figure out what they want to eat because I am out of the equation. He tries hard to include me and try to find something, but I am scared to eat anything.

Is anyone else is a similar situation? I admit that I am frustrated as hell that I can no longer eat the things I enjoy (crispy shredded beef, taco salads, sweet and sour shrimp, etc) and I have no clue if this is normal, and if it is, how to cope.

I feel extremly angry and to some degree resentful of the band! Weight loss is great but never thought in a million years I would have to go through this much distress to lose weight. :)

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I sort of have the same situation. I just started cooking separate for myself. They eat one thing, I just eat another. A small pain, but does the job.

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I completely feel for you --- I have gone through the same thing before. It seems to come in waves for me. I'll have problems eatting everything and then suddenly I can eat again. I try to switch my mindset and the foods that I eat during those times. In my experience, I think that my stomache swells at times and when that happens, my restriction is greater.

I also have problems eatting when I have sinus issues. My doctor told me that when you have post-nasal drip it collects in the pouch and acts like saran wrap over the opening into the rest of the stomach. So I am really in pain when I have a sinus infection -- I had this issue for about a two week stretch and I was miserable. Everything I ate got stuck. I was averaging 2-3 bites at each meal if that. I have to say that I was very frustrated and also felt some resentment of the band during that time.

Hopefully this will pass for you soon. Have you tried soft foods like macaroni and cheese, yogurt or cottage cheese? I'm sure you've tried everything. If it keeps causing you a problem, you may want to consult your doctor to see what he might recommend. It might be necessary for you to have a partial unfill. I have had 4 fills and after the last two I needed to have half of what they put in taken back out. What relief!!

Good luck!

Banded: 1-21-08

Start wt: 337

Surgery wt: 297

current wt: 239

goal wt: 150

Edited by Cinderella 121

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After I wrote the thread last night, I ended up eating fish for dinner; however, at 4:15 am I woke up in severe pain. I would turn on my side and the pain radiated in the front where my belly is to the middle of my back. Everytime I would swollow just saliva it felt like a painful pulling sensation in my back. I ended calling the call center for the doc on call in distress and they had me come in this morning. The doc did an unfill and wants me to have another upper GI to ensure everything is ok with the band before we start from scratch with the fills. He says that the band was probaby too tight from the fill and with the Pb'ing that I've been doing I more than likely have swelling going on. So now I have to schedule the upper GI. But the sad thing is is that once he did the unfill, and of course I was hungry as hell, my mind went crazy on what to eat for lunch. I was happy as hell knowing that I could eat some sort of solid again. So we went to get lunch and I had a salad and some fries at a restaurant. It was like an heaven for me. Anyway, I guess I will see what happens when I schedule the upper GI. Hopefully my band is ok.

But I think your right about the whole post nasal drip. I have this scratchy sore throat (unsure from Pb'ing) and scratchy sensation in my lungs along with post nasal drip. Maybe I am coming down with a viral infection. I also suffer from chronic sinusitis as well, so maybe that contributed to the swelling of the band. I should no more after the upper GI, but for now, I am going to enjoy what food I can still keeping the portions in check.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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