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Umm...Sex Drive



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:confused2:Just curious. A good friend of mine had the bypass surgery about a year and a half ago. Her whole personality has changed. She has become extremely self centered and now has this extremely high sex drive. It's almost like she has sex with anyone who compliments her. I've read some lit on the bypass surgery and it does say that a person's sex drive can change. Is a change in sex drive a possible occurence following the loss of weight after having the lap band surgery. I have come to the conclusion that she is trying to make up for all of the sex that she didn't have when she was overweight (which is not very safe this day and age, if you know what I mean):tt2:

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You might want to look into transfer behavior. Usually people who where food addicts make take up something else once they lose weight. Some shop, some gamble and she might be turning to sex. I am sure she feels very good about the way she looks and is doing things she couldn't do when she was heavier. she still needs tobe careful. Just let her know that you care about her and she need to be careful.

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She may also be having issues with her self worth. Most people who are overweight don't have very high self esteem and she may still be dealing with those issues even though she has lost the weight.

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i agree it may have something to do with her self image.

My former coworker who was banded about a year before me was like this. She had a reputation of being like this a bit before being banded, i think the sex made her feel attractive for that amount of time. But after she was banded, it was worse. It seemed like her head expanded while her waist decreased.

Then, she made a decision (that many of us felt was extremely hasty) that has ruined her life and we are wondering what she is going to do.

She worked in the same job for more than 15 years, in hospitality in a facility for only a select few. After she lost about 80 lbs, this one person showed an attraction to her. He had been patronizing her place of employment the whole time she worked there, but not until she lost the weight did he notice her. Within a month, she had quit her job (cannot date the patrons), moved in with him (which in turn burnt several bridges personally for her-family and friends) and they were engaged.

About a month ago (less than 9 months into this relationship) he tells her he's going back to his ex wife (who has left him 4 times before, the most recent time for 1/2 million), but that he will put her up in an apt until she can get back on her feet.

She has no job, no where to go.

For us looking in, we see that she never should have given up so much for someone, especially after less than a month.

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:confused2:Just curious. A good friend of mine had the bypass surgery about a year and a half ago. Her whole personality has changed. She has become extremely self centered and now has this extremely high sex drive. It's almost like she has sex with anyone who compliments her. I've read some lit on the bypass surgery and it does say that a person's sex drive can change. Is a change in sex drive a possible occurence following the loss of weight after having the lap band surgery. I have come to the conclusion that she is trying to make up for all of the sex that she didn't have when she was overweight (which is not very safe this day and age, if you know what I mean):biggrin:

Sounds like your friend might be making up for lost time. If so, that's too bad. She really is putting herself in danger.

As for the sex drive after lap band, I know mine has improved. I attribute it to my weight loss though. I feel better about myself and my body feels better - healthier. Consequently, my husband is thrilled. Sex is more enjoyable, more fun and I want it more!

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I agree with the addiction transference theory(ies). A friend of mine that had bypass transferred to shopping. However, I don't think it's only bypass-related. I'm sure that's why we also go through the psych eval - to make sure that we don't have a past with drug or alcohol abuse so we don't transfer to former bad addictions!

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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