Family and Friends Support Forum

[strikeuptheband 16]

For all you support people out there: God Bless Ya! You have to know how important you are. At first my SO was all gung ho about it, "I will be there for ya, honey, no matter what..yada yada" But then he started questioning...are you sure you can afford this, do you know how hard its going to be on you, do you really think you are that heavy? and on and on. Then he couldn't be bothered to come to the support group meeting. Then he did come and sit with be before surgery, but left when i got out because "You are just going to sleep all day anyway" and he came back the next day to "help me" get back to my car. I ended up driving myself there 2 1/2 hr drive and back home. In the week following, he only called me once to see how I was doing. And he questioned why did I wait so long and didn't call him! Needless to say, his idea of support and mine are far apart. It has made me question if I want to stay involved with him. He has managed to lose a bunch of weight by eating healthy and watching his portions. I feel this is a subtle message that hey, why can't you do that too? It makes me sad because I really like the guy. But I know I can't depend on him for support. In fact when we get together for a dinner date or go anywhere to eat, its him plus my hunger I will be fighting. I ask myself if its even worth it. So again, to all you support people, stand by your partner, and know you are well appreciated. Sorry for ranting, but it felt good to write this down. Best of luck to all of you who are looking at or have had surgery.

[BadgerMom 0]

My gosh, Strikeuptheband (love the name), I can't even imagine driving myself home from surgery, and for that length of time! I had foot surgery a little over a year ago, and I was a blithering idiot when I got out of recovery and all the way home. It's a good thing you arrived home safely. I guess I'm lucky. I've been there for my partner when she's had surgery, and she's been there for me. For the band surgery, we've arranged with friends to make sure the dog gets let out on the evening of surgery day so I can stay as late as possible and then come back the next morning (I'm still thinking I'd prefer to get a dog-friendly hotel room near the hospital). I don't care if she is going to sleep most of the day. She doesn't seem to think I need to be there, but I do.

I'm certainly no expert here, but I'm learning that this surgery (like all bariatric surgeries, I'll bet) really brings out the best and the worst in family members in a way that I haven't seen with other medical procedures. Maybe it's because the end result, weight loss, will change the status quo for everyone around the bandster in a way that, say, knee surgery won't.

Your SO might have dropped a few pounds by eating healthy and watching his portions, but can he keep it off? As I understand it, that's one of the primary criteria for getting the band in the first place - trying and failing other weight loss programs, like dieting - which you have obviously tried or you wouldn't have been approved to get the band.

I had an old friend once say to me, "Talk is cheap. Watch the feet." 'Nuff said.

BadgerMom

[Froggi 4]

I think this is a fantastic idea...email alex about it :frown:

[strikeuptheband 16]

My gosh, Strikeuptheband (love the name), I can't even imagine driving myself home from surgery, and for that length of time! I had foot surgery a little over a year ago, and I was a blithering idiot when I got out of recovery and all the way home. It's a good thing you arrived home safely. I guess I'm lucky. I've been there for my partner when she's had surgery, and she's been there for me. For the band surgery, we've arranged with friends to make sure the dog gets let out on the evening of surgery day so I can stay as late as possible and then come back the next morning (I'm still thinking I'd prefer to get a dog-friendly hotel room near the hospital). I don't care if she is going to sleep most of the day. She doesn't seem to think I need to be there, but I do.

I'm certainly no expert here, but I'm learning that this surgery (like all bariatric surgeries, I'll bet) really brings out the best and the worst in family members in a way that I haven't seen with other medical procedures. Maybe it's because the end result, weight loss, will change the status quo for everyone around the bandster in a way that, say, knee surgery won't.

Your SO might have dropped a few pounds by eating healthy and watching his portions, but can he keep it off? As I understand it, that's one of the primary criteria for getting the band in the first place - trying and failing other weight loss programs, like dieting - which you have obviously tried or you wouldn't have been approved to get the band.

I had an old friend once say to me, "Talk is cheap. Watch the feet." 'Nuff said.

BadgerMom

I was somewhat over the blithering idiot stage by the next day. I stayed overnight. But it was still a hard drive home. Now if I can just get over this pain at the port site I can start shaking my booty till it falls off!:frown:

[lindy07 0]

Hi,

I am also the wife of a newbie bandster. he will get his band on June 26 and he is very serious about losing weight. We have tried all types of diets and the results have been short term. Jenny Craig worked but it is expensive after a while and we did not have time to make the support meetings.

We are hoping this works long term. I wish you and your family luck. Stop in and let us know how it goes for your bandster.

Lindy07

[JoJo2 0]

My partner is having the lapband surgery June 23. Saturday we started the 10 day liquid pre op. I'm not having the surgery but to be supportive I'm following the liquid diet also. I agree about the friends not being supportive. Most of our friends when she was thinking about having the surgery tried to talk her out of it, instead of listening to her concerns. My partners 84 year old mother is leaving with us and I'm afraid she will try and sabatoge her once she starts loosing weight. My partner is the one that found the web site and we started reading about the other couples same problems. Through talking to others it puts things in perpective. I'm glad we found this place to talk.

[JoJo2 0]

Hey Badgermon just wanted to say Hello. I just put out my first post and notice your not far from Madison and your partner is being banded on the 23rd. We leave about 35 minutes from Madison and my partner is being baqned on the 23rd, What a small world. Good luck to you both. Just stay positive, that's how I'm trying to deal with everything.

[Tesuquecat 0]

Hello Everyone:

I'm flying from New Mexico to Phoenix for my first appointment with a Lap Band doctor. I'm hoping my health insurance company approves the surgery. I have Lovelace Health Plan. I'm wondering if there's anyone out there who has Lovelace and has had problems with them paying for the surgery. Otherwise, I don't think I can afford it.

[lindy07 0]

Thanks for your email. I am trying to be supportive, as well. My husband did not have to be on an all liquid diet for pre op but I am fixing him his dinner (4oz lean meat and veggie) plus he is drinking the Protein shake for Breakfast and he has fruit and yogurt for lunch so, I am doing Slim Fast for Breakfast and canned Soup for lunch and I eat what he eats in he evening. I am sure your partner will have the support she needs from you.

Good luck on the banding on the 23rd. Let me know how you guys do.

Hugs,

Lindy07

[Froggi 4]

If you want to create a social group/forum for family you can, it's basically a forum. You do it under social groups. First you make the group and once 2 or more people join the group you can goto the bottom of the group page and click create forum. :smile2:

[lindy07 0]

Thanks Froggie! I appreciate the suggestion! Keep up the good work and keep in touch.

Hugs,

Lindy07

[Froggi 4]

You're welcome

[BadgerMom 0]

JoJo,

Is your partner being banded in Beloit?

BadgerMom