OK...here goes nothing. I haven't posted in quite a while because I have been dealing with some real shit at home. A month ago I found out that my husband of almost 10 years has been having an affair for the last year and a half. :mad:That's right...while I was losing weight and looking great, that pig went out seeking an affair and here I was scared of how I would act after I started to get attention from others when I started to look nice. I am hurt:crying:, angry:mad2:, sad :cry_smile:, devastated:cursing:, sick and every other emotion (other than happy). I'm now on Xanax for my anxiety and I am completely obsessed with this crap. How can someone go out seeking an affair when they have a wife and two beautiful children? Do people care anymore? Do vows mean anything? What the hell is wrong with people? Of course now all of a sudden he wants the marriage to work. Well damn...you should have thought about that before porking the skank!!!! I want to freaken scream. I want to hurt them both. How the hell do people get on after things like this happen to them? Is it possible? We are in counseling, but should I even bother? Will he do it again? What about my kids? Damn...I need some serious help. This really sucks. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of the chest pains and the anxiety. I want a fairy tale ended but unfortunately my marriage will NEVER be the same. I can never look at him the same way again. Do I give up and start my life over with my boys? Can someone wake me up from this horribe nightmare????? Why me? In the last year I have gone from a size 22/24 to a size 10/12 and I have lost 106 pounds. I thought that my husband was proud of me and thought that I was looking good...guess not, huh? Joke's on me!!!

Thanks everyone...here is the latest...I had a bilateral breast ultrasound which did not come back too favorable so I have to undergo 3 biopsies next week...I'm terrified because I feel that they strongly believe that the cancer has returned (at least in the right breast, which is where it was before). I have been informed that if it has returned that he will be taking the entire breast and that hit me hard...I know it's for the best but it's still hard to hear. He said because IF it is positive that means that it has returned in less than 1 1/2 years and I also carry the BRCA II gene and that is the best course of action. I'm keeping my fingers crossed and praying harder than I ever have before. I appreciate all of your well wishes and prayers...they are very much appreciated!!!!!

_UPDATE:

_{BENIGN BABY!!!!! I'M CANCER FREE!!!!}

_{Thank you for all of the prayers...they worked!!!! Now I get to concentrate on my baby that will be joining this world in 12 short weeks!!!! Whoop Whoop}

Thats the BEST News!!! Congrats i'm so happy for you!!!!

_UPDATE:

_{BENIGN BABY!!!!! I'M CANCER FREE!!!!}

_{Thank you for all of the prayers...they worked!!!! Now I get to concentrate on my baby that will be joining this world in 12 short weeks!!!! Whoop Whoop}

There are to many good men out there to stay with someone you can't trust. Staying with someone "for the kids" doesn't work because you become unhappy and the kids suffer. Kids are better off with divorce parents than parents who can't be happy together. You have to make you happy and then everything else will fall into place. So when he gets something that requires medical assistance you can laugh because you were not stupid enough to sleep with him again.

Okay, I'm gonna be honest here...no sugar coating. What he did was wrong. Sure he's sorry, that he got caught. The fact that this affair went on for such a long period of time means that at no point in that year and a half was he sorry. Now he is? Sorry, but I'm not buying it. I'd say ditch him. Ur boys need to know what it means to respect a woman, and their father is NOT that example. Every single time u are together, u will be sick wondering if he's thinking of her. Was she prettier than u? What does she have that u don't? U will forever be consumed with checking up on him, and the fighting and your depression/anxiety is not good for your boys. I'm not trying to pour salt in the wound, just saying....10 yrs wasted. Y make it 15 or 20? What's done is done. Take your hot self and find a man who will cherish and respect u. Best of luck sweetie!

I am so sorry you ate going through that. My marriage of 18 years is ending, because my husband was seeing a friend if mine. I am now separated & working 3 jobs to make ends meet. I feel your pain... And it sucks big time. However in the end we'll pick up & move forward.... Looking way hotter

sending (((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))).

I understand your pain. My husband went through a midlife crisis 12 yrs ago. cheated. I went to alanon 12 step group for support and I was told to give it a year and not make hasty decision. Alanon's program healped me alot with the support and self reflection.We are still married and he has not cheated again. You need to do what is best for you. Sometimes men(when they are doubting what they have known) go temporarily nuts. Your weight loss probably threatened him and he needed someone to reassure his fragil ego. This is not your fault.You didn't cause this, you can't control this, you can't cure this. It was his character defect. If you allow him to stay in your life he needs to do everything to regain your trust. It is possible.

Wowza, just read this whole thread (boring morning at work). What a journey!! I will continue to follow your progress and can't wait to hear how the new baby is when he gets here!!

Signed, New Groupie

Thanks ladies but some of you didn't realize that this thread was started a long time ago...I have been divorced now for almost two years, I'm engaged and I'm 31 weeks pregnant...in between all that I was diagnosed and beat breast cancer...I'm a survivor in more ways than one I have been through just about everything you can think of...lol...thanks for all the well wishes...my 3rd son will join my new family in 9 short weeks and I couldn't be happier :-)

Now you will have to change your name to mumof3boys.... congratulations on your new little one and new life

Best wishes with the new bambino.

Thanks. I had a doctors appointment yesterday and I will deliver my baby on May 15 ( just three weeks from today). Keep praying that everythng is alright with him...I appreciate all of the prayers

Been reading your story im sending prayers gor birth if your son. Thats around time im having my surgery.. good luck

Thank you. Monday (April 30) is my 5 year Baniversary...what a crazy 5 years it has been!!!