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Wish me luck - first blind date since surgery



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I am trying to think of this as a "test date" I haven't been on a blind date in years because I was recently out of a relationship right before surgery. I know I should look better now but I don't feel very attractive. Can you tell I am nervous?? Wish me luck tonight!

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Deep breath! Be yourself, and have fun! :thumbup:

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We want all the dirt when you get home! Remember it's a blind date for him, too. He might be just as nervous.

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Not sure how it went. He wasn't quite what I expected - very nice and interesting - we talked easily. Not sure if the attraction was there on either side. I guess I wait to hear if he wants to go out again? He didn't say anything at the end of the date so that seems bad but on the other hand I am not sure what I want either. At least I got my feet wet. Also the eating went fine, I was very worried about that because I am pretty restricted and you know how it is when you need to talk and eat.

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Glad you got back out in circulation. Each time will get easier and feel more natural.

So, no love match this time, oh well. The right one will come along and sometimes it takes a few dates with the same person to decide if it's right.

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He sent me a rejection email that he felt no "chemistry" with me. I guess I am hideous.. just joking really. Not confidence inspiring though.

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What a dick!!! chicken couldn't even do it in person. Oh well, no love lost. Like you said, there was no attraction on your part to him! Don't give up!! Best way to get your feet wet and to get comfortable with dating again is practice dates! He was your first practice date. So when's the next!! LOL chin up and have fun with these dates! Plus if you can't be yourself and be comfortable with the person you are with, then they are not for you!

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Well I agree that this one was somewhat of a chicken sh*t!! BUT----in the future, even if the person you date is not a perfect match for you, you never know who he knows---it is like networking!!!

A few years ago, my DH and I set up one of my friends with a guy he works with. They went out, had a nice time, but he said the whole time he was with her she kept reminding him of his brother, her sense of humor etc. was similar. So over a 2 week period they talked off and on, and he told her, and invited her to go golfing with he and his brother. My friend and the brother just celebrated their 4th anniversary---but they couldn't go out on the town---they have a new baby!!! The guy he works with.....still single, but still a nice guy----don't give up!!!

His loss!

Kat

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consider that "practice", MUCH more out there; his communication skills over email speak volumes....like you said, got your feet wet & didnt' have a PB!!!!!

more to come your way karen!!

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I feel a little better with your support. Dating s*&cks! Particuarly when I dont feel great about my body in this transition stage. Also since I am losing weight quickly nothing ever looks "great" for more than a week or two.

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Well it gave you a chance to get out there, next time you won't be so nervous!

You said before he 'rejected' you that there wasn't attraction on either side.

That would have been it for me anyway. If it wasn't 'all that' for you either, why bother waiting to see what he thinks? Move along! :smile2:)

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Hang in there. You're just getting your "Rejection Quotient" up. Seriously. Your quota, not his.

My mom is 60 and dating again and she went to some seminar from a guy who wrote a book {don't they all?} and he was talking about your personal "rejection quotient" and how you really need to date whomever and whenever {with in reason} because you get a better idea of what you're looking for, what you will put up with, what you WON'T put up with, etc. And you know what? In the case of my mom, he was right. What she told me she was looking for has changed because of the men she has dated. Each one gave her a better idea of what she wants, what she'll put up with and what she WON'T put up with. It's amazing.

This guy also suggested going out with people you would normally not even go out with only because you don't really know if this person is the person for you or not. May be a diamond in disguise. Now again, you need to be safe and if someone is giving you the heebie jeebies, then you must listen to your gut or if they smoke/drink/whatever and you don't tolerate it, that kind of thing, then of course, you don't go out with that person. But basically, be open to new people and ideas, you may surprise yourself.

So just look at each date as an experience and the fact that you are getting a better idea of what you truly want from a man and don't settle for less!

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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