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telling people about surgery



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This is my first time on this forum. It has been interesting reading everyones comments whether to tell or not to tell. I am scheduled for surgery on Monday, Feb 25th and am scared to death. I have told my immediate family, a couple of close, close friends but am so unsure of some other close friends. I think they may just feel I am taking the easy way out.....which all of you know is not true. Just don't know what to do so I am doing nothing.:grouphug:

Just told my 96 year old mother-in-law and she was great about it. Told my 50ish sister-in-law and she was full of questions and seemed judgemental. Oh well. My husband, Mom and kids have been a great support group. I know that will continue after the surgery as well.
:)

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Welcome and best of luck with your surgery. It's normal to have doubts but you're in good hands and have people to support you post-op.

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I just got banded 2 days ago. I was scared, too. I believe I made the right decision for me. I think at some point in life I was taught to place too much value on other people (and their opinions), and tried to please others and take care of them, sometimes at my own expense. I had to realize that this was about me. I needed to do this for ME. Fortunately, everyone has been supportive. What they said behind my back is none of my business.

I heard this saying and it holds true for me: "Those that matter don't judge, and those that judge don't matter."

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I was banded Jan. 16th and at first I planned to keep it under my hat and only tell those who needed to know, but very soon after my surgery people started noticing my weight loss and I found it easier to tell the truth about it, and I am glad I did. Most people I have told have been supportive and the majority ask curious questions, and that is ok with me.

Have you seen the movie "Akeela and the Bee"? If you have, remember when they talk about having "fifty thousand coaches"...well I have found that being open and willing to talk about the lap bad has gained me a whole network of support I otherwise would not have had.

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Nataliesnana, Good luck for Monday. I'm sure you will be just fine. We all have gone through the horrible anxiety beforehand and know how you feel. I was very nervous beforehand and have now been banded for 5 weeks. You will be ok. Keep us up to date with how you are going.

Saleel22

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I am not banded yet...hoping to be in March. But I have found myself already telling some people of my intentions. I kind of wish I hadn't though, because there are some people that I don't really want to tell because of them being judgemental and critical of my decision. Especially my in-laws. However, since I've already told some people, word will probably get around to those who don't know. So, I guess that means I have to be truthful with everyone now, because I would hate to get caught in a lie.

But I agree with some of the other comments - I really shouldn't care what people think about it. I will be doing it for me and my husband and child, and I guess I'll just have to get some thicker skin regarding anyone else's opinion.

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I've only told a few people outside of family. Two actually. And I'm keeping it that way as long as I can. I know that this is a tool and that it won't make me loose weight. I'll still have to work at it. And I don't want people watching me all the time expecting me to suddenly be half my size. I don't want people to think I took the easy way out because this is far from easy. I may change my mind later, but here is where I'm at now.

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