Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

To Tell or Not to Tell???



Recommended Posts

I usually tell everyone everything about what is going on with me. But the last time I lost a huge amount of weight, I had problems with buttinskies at work who would watch everything I ate and question if I was "allowed" to eat it, and try to monitor my eating, my weight and my exercising. Um, I didn't like that. :biggrin:

I think if you invite everyone into your life, then it's a lot harder to say "none of your business" when they get farther in than you intended. So this time, I think I won't invite them in.

I'm sure I'll end up telling a lot of people, plus when I make phone calls at work, everyone can hear, so eventually everyone will know. But if I don't run around discussing it with everyone all the time, but let people know gradually and quietly, I think it will work out better for everyone involved.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello,

I was banded Jan 3rd and at first I did not want to tell anyone. My boyfriend went with me to the senimar and that helped so much. He now "gets it". I knew my mom would be supportive, and she was. We had a heart to heart, and she understood the emotional side of it all. What I ended up doing was writing a e-mail to the rest of the family "three brothers and families". I explained the band, surgery and pretty much told them that I WAS going to do this. I told them of all the researching I had done,gave them the web site to my Dr which had a video for them to watch. They have watched me struggle with my weight all my life, going up and down.. always gaining it back. I got wonderful support from each and every person.That being said, only you know your family. If you decide not to tell, that is great. You have your husband for support. One thing I will say, is this is not a easy way out. I have worked harder on this band than I have on any other diet. Mostly because I am self pay and I WANT THIS TO BE MY LAST WEIGHT LOSS.

Do it for yourself and your health.

Lois

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi,

The only person that knows right now is my sister. She is staying with me for the first week. I was banded yesterday. I brought this conversation up with my friend and he seemed to be negative to the idea so I changed the subject. I probably will tell my parents, probably when I see them next. They live out of state, so won't be seeing them for bit. Not sure how they will take it, but due to some of my medical history this is the right choice for me. I'm thankful my sister lives close to take care of me during the beginning of my new journey.

Mke

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I tell everyone I meet! Everywhere! In WalMart... at work... the hairdresser... you name it... lol I just cannot contain my enthusiasm and excitement. I have already encouraged over a dozen people to visit my doctor (only after they ask of course).

Also, my reason for not keeping it a secret was because it is normal for people to "talk" if someone loses a lot of weight (especially at my job). I did not want them whispering stuff like: is she on drugs? is she sick? does she have cancer? etc.

I preferred to have them KNOW why I was losing weight, and be encouraging and supportive of my efforts... and they have been :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm not telling anyone, only my husband and daughter know. I had a coworker who was banded, she told everyone, shows them the port, the incision scars, etc. I'm just not that bold. plus after hearing all the negativity regarding her procedure, there is no way i would tell.

this is my decision, for my life, i am somewhat a private person, so i dont want people to know. 15 years ago i worked out, got into bodybuilding and looked great, i was so proud of myself, it was the best i looked in all my life, but then i slipped, and i hated myself for not keeping it up. now for the past 8 years i have been obese, i cant stand to look in the mirror, i'm close to 40 and all my relatives have several health conditions that i am hoping to avoid. i want to be able to breath when i lay down, i don't want to be winded when i walk from my room to the kitchen.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Do what you feel comfortable with, it's okay to tell people, the down side is it can stress you cause sometimes they ask to many question. I told alot of people I was so excited, one of the reasons is for me I knew it would help me stay on track because I knew they would be watching my success. By seeing my sucess I now have 3 people who have had it because I inspired them to do something about their weight. Your always going to have someone who questions your decision, that's okay everyone has a right to their own thoughts. But this is a decision that can improve your health and quality of life. I would encourage anyone to consider the lapband, it's changed my life or rather it gave me my life back.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi, I'm struggling with this same decision. I told my closest friend that I'm having it, (she had gastric bypass several years ago) and my mother, who after asking not to, told my brother. My brother totally freaked out and started yelling and screaming at me. He said I was stupid, that it was unhealthy, and that I was going to die. GOOD GRIEF! He's so dramatic! My father knows, as he had lap band 1 1 /2 years ago, and has lost 140 lbs. These are the ONLY people I will tell. OH, of course my husband knows who is extremely the most supportive, important person in my life. These are the ONLY few people that I will tell. I feel like it's not of anyone's business. I too worry about people noticing if I'm out to eat with them, etc... or seeing me eat pretty much nothing. I feel like they will think I took the easy way out. None of them know how hard I struggle to just drop a couple lbs dieting. It was great to read how others feel about this. I don't want the rest of my family knowing, as most are thin and healthy, and I feel they will be too judgemental.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • vsg.with.sharon

      Hey everyone!
      I’m new here! Looking for some friends! 🥰
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×