scared and flip-flopping

bibo07 · February 9, 2008

Hi Kbnaz

Thanks for your replies.

It's so good to hear that the 'food yearning' issues have not been so bad...again reading all this... i can't imagine my life without bread, past and potatos...and i feel horrible saying it...just makes me feel hopeless, that there is actually nothing that will work for me.

I have been trying to eat slowly and taking small bites...so i think tha'ts something i can get used to.

As for being too tight and too restricted and overfilled- I am still not there in understanding all that...i just thought that my doctor would tell me what's appropriate...or i will keep reading on that.

THANK YOU SOOO MUCH FOR WRITING THIS..."

You also need to remember that although you are eating a smaller amount of food you feel as if you ate a big portion and feel satisfied until your next meal - that is what was missing for me pre-band. I could eat a good sized meal then feel hungry again before the next one and feel like snacking constantly. I don't snack at all now because I don't feel like it."

Before i read this message, i was thinking i really would try to eat half of what i eat now....but then i wasn't thinking that i won't feel full and will want to snack. This just might have been the push i needed.

I think i have a concern for every stage: (1) i am afraid of the surgery itself and of needles; (2) i am afraid of how i will feel afterwards...soups???i don't consider Soup food...lol...just a starter...i hate throwing up with a passion, what if i can't do what i do now everyday...like carrying my son, sleeping on my side or my stomach...what about sex (excuse the honesty) i mean what if i make a wrong move...needles to make changes???? sorry for a lot of whinning!!!

changenow · February 10, 2008

Thanks for your incredibly sane and well-thought-out response. Everyone considering surgery should have to read your post.

I have been flip flopping on whether to have the surgery for 1 - 2 years now. Last year I attended a seminar but then decided that if I could limit my calories to 1000 cal/day and exercise I wouldn't need the surgery. Now here I am almost two years later and I weigh the same or more. I am 5'4'' and 212 lbs. I lost about 22 lbs thru diet and excercise but slowly gained it back. When I met my husband 9 years ago I weighed 142 and he always nags me about my weight. Last night I woke up in the middle of the night and found him awake. When I asked why he couldn't sleep he said that he wanted his old wife back. He also said that he never has asked for much and that the most important thing to him was for me to get skinny and get my old self esteem back. It just broke my heart to hear him say that, but worse than that it scares me to death because I am afraid that if I don't lose the weight not only will my health suffer but my marriage also. I have to decided that I have gained so much weight that I have difficulty motivating myself to stick to a program because I feel like I have put on too much weight and my yo yo dieting has only made things worse. I want to believe the GB will work for me sooo bad but I am terrified that if it doesn't that I will feel worse than if I never had it at all. Does anyone know of people that have gained the weight back despite the GB? Please help me make a decision.

biggestloser2be · February 10, 2008

All, First let me say that I am happy that I made the decision to be banded and I have no regrets. But, I have a different post than those listed above.

I got banded on 11/01/07 so I am no expert. I was a major yo yo dieter. I tried everything that is out there. I did LA Weight Loss and had great success. I lost 60 pounds and weighted 140 pounds (goal). After I reached goal I stopped going because it was very expensive and I thought I could maintain it myself. WRONG!!! I gained it all back and then some. But this is my story with the lapband.

I am 5'4 and weighted 220 pounds. The heaviest ever. I researched the lapband for quit sometime and read a lot of the posts. Here goes:

My first fill was 3cc and everything was great. I was able to eat most things but only a small amount. I was frustrated because everything I read on the boards was that people had great restriction and was limited on what they could eat. I couldn't wait to be there.

My second fill was 1.3cc. I was disappointed because I wanted to have 2 or 3cc more. I took a sip of Water and it went down good. That evening I was barely able to drink Water. I had to take very very small sips. I was unable to eat anything and if I did I was slimming over the sink which was painfull. I also had heartburn (I think because I have never had heartburn or acid reflux before) everyday. I would have to sleep elevated to help from burning to bad. I was living on tums. It was like this for 5 days before I went to a support meeting and the folks there told me that I needed to get a small unfill or I would arritate my stomach even more and it wouldn't heal. I waited till Monday, eight days later, before calling the doctor to get an unfill. I didn't want an unfill because I thought it would slow down my weight loss. I want it to drop fast as I am sure most everyone does. I went in and had .5cc taken out and was able to finally eat. After eight days I was starving. When I did eat I was only able to handle a small amount so I didn't overeat. Still I was disappointed that I had to have an unfill but I felt better.

My third fill 2 weeks later I got .5cc back in. I drank some water and it went down fine. Again, that night I was not even able to drink water and if I did I was taking very small sips that only made you more thirsty. I told myself that I would give it two weeks to loosen up on itself. I have been drinking Soups everyday because I can't eat anything else without it getting stuck and would cause me to run to the sick because of slimming. Again, painfull. Today was the first day that I was able to eat a grilled chicken salad. I was so excited. It took me forever to eat it but that was okay. So, I bought another grilled chicken salad for dinner. I cut it all up into small bites and took a bite. It felt like it was sitting above my band, but I took another bite thinking that it would be okay. Wrong. It got stuck and hurt. So I through it away and opened another can of Soup. I am not giving up because I was able to eat one for lunch. I will try it again tomorrow and see what happens. This Monday will be two weeks. If it doesn't get any better I will go in for a small unfill.

The thing that I have learned with the band is that everyone is different. Alot of people want the tight restriction where they can only take a bite or two and not be able to eat anymore. When I take a bite or two I am still hungry, but if I eat anymore it gets stuck and I am slimming. Again painfull. Not to mention that I don't enjoy eating out with my family because they are still eating long after my two bites. Also, if I go out to eat with folks from work I don't want it to be weird when I only eat a bite or two and then am done. They don't know that I had the banding done. I would like to be able to eat 1 or 2 ounces of meat and 1/4 or 1/2 cup of vegetables. I will get there I just have to find the spot.

I hope this helps people realise that the lapband is work in progress until you find your spot. It is not easy or at least for me it isn't but once we get there we will be happy we made the decision. I know that the band will be there for the rest of my life and if I ever need more restriction I just go in for a fill.

I hope know one takes this post in the wrong way. I would not change the fact that I had this surgery. It has cut down my eating before my last fill that was acceptable to me. I was eating small amounts and felt full. I didn't have any issues at all. The hard part is finding the happy place because you just don't know until you are there and are comfortable. I think once I find that place I will be very happy. Until then I will have to learn what I can handle for myself.

Thanks.

Sunwyse · February 11, 2008

Biggestloser2be,

I think your spot was when you had that .5 out. Being able to eat almost anything after having chewed the life out of it, is what everyone should be aiming for. Having restriction to the point where you can hardly eat is just as dangerous and damaging as the way we ate before, in my opinion. It should be about losing weight sensibly and re-learning what is a healthy amount to eat. Not about who can eat the least!