Donali inspired me to start this new thread. She has been providing information to us regarding Morbid Obesity being a disease, which is a very powerful topic for all of us.

Lately I've been discovering that there are many different categories that we fit in, so I was wondering what category you are in. I don't have labels for the categories, but let me start by telling you why I am obese.

First, my family history includes severe mental illness (Mom, aunt, etc.) I inherited a branch of mental illness - Generalized Anxiety Disorder, which had me extremely ill in my youth. My panic attacks have been under control for years, but I still have many anxiety-related problems, one being that I never stop thinking, and at night, the thoughts are consumed by food. Part of the reason I'm obese is becaseu I can't fight the mental struggle to eat for long periods of time. That part of my brain is stronger than the sensible part.

But my biggest problem is portion control. I'm obsessed by enormous quantities of food. I simply don't understand how anyone could order just one taco, or have a small serving of anything. With me, it's all or nothing. I would rather fast all day than to eat one chicken thigh. It's torture. A half gallon of ice cream is two servings. A family dinner is two servings.

And mine is all a night time disorder. Someone baked us fresh Cookies, all warm and steamy, and I didn't even look at them. I don't give a damn about food during the day. I feel like a monster.

Fast Food! I love the stuff and cant get enough of it. Mcdonalds, Wendys, Burger King well you get the idea. I would have eaten every single day if hubby had let me. The other downfall I have is Mt. Dew I would have the stuff as soon as I would get up in the morning and then all day and right before bed at night. Mix that with no exercise and I am what you get.

Im changing all that now though! I havent had mt. Dew since October 3rd. Fast food...not since I started the pre-op diet on the 5th. This is the "new me" and I am loving every minute of it!!!!!

Good Luck Dawn!

You know what will be interesting? If you stay out of fast food restaurants for a while and then go back, tell us how the smell made you feel. I have never been a fast food junkie, the smell really turns me off. I often wonder if it's just me or if others feel like that too. None of my friends really eat fast food and no one in our family does (except my MIL occasionally).

My 23 yr old daughter has never had a Mcdonalds hamburger, and it has nothing to do with me!! She can't stand the smell either.

Maybe we are just weird.

I'm still only 12 days post op, so I am a newbie. Good luck to you and everyone on this journey!

Fast Food! I love the stuff and cant get enough of it. Mcdonalds, Wendys, Burger King well you get the idea. I would have eaten every single day if hubby had let me. The other downfall I have is Mt. Dew I would have the stuff as soon as I would get up in the morning and then all day and right before bed at night. Mix that with no exercise and I am what you get.

Im changing all that now though! I havent had mt. Dew since October 3rd. Fast food...not since I started the pre-op diet on the 5th. This is the "new me" and I am loving every minute of it!!!!!

Good Luck Dawn!

You know what will be interesting? If you stay out of fast food restaurants for a while and then go back, tell us how the smell made you feel. I have never been a fast food junkie, the smell really turns me off. I often wonder if it's just me or if others feel like that too. None of my friends really eat fast food and no one in our family does (except my MIL occasionally).

My 23 yr old daughter has never had a Mcdonalds hamburger, and it has nothing to do with me!! She can't stand the smell either.

Maybe we are just weird.

I'm still only 12 days post op, so I am a newbie. Good luck to you and everyone on this journey!

Thank you! No your not weird! In fact I have heard that from lots of people. I also know a lot of people like me who were/are fast food junkies. They are not nearly as big as I am though...NOT FAIR! lol I have no plans on any fast food for a long time but I am sure one day I will go back. I hope that day wont be for a long time though

well im fat because of many reasons. ive been over weight sense i can remember. for one i deff think i got the fat jeans. lol my moms whole side is over weight. but i think the biggest reason is because i go ALL day without eating then i benge at dinner. i starve my body! when i was in high school i always was self concious but not that bad. lol i was deff over weight but i carried it well i was popular had lots of friends boyfriend partys ect. even at a whole 270 lbs then i got engaged and comfortable and on top of that i got a job while in school and didnt eat all day then i would eat fast food almost everynight for dinner. at around 12pm then go home and go to bed within a couple years i gained about75 lbs and i am MISERABLE!!! i cant even began to express how bad i want this surgery! im sure you all know. and then theres lazieness its easier to sit on the couch watching tv then going for a walk. =[ i just want to be me again. and healthy!!!!

I think a lot of why I'm fat is genetics. On my mother's side of the family everyone is HUGE! On my father's side everyone has that hollow leg thing, they eat all the time and never gain a pound. I look just like my mother, in body at least.

That's not an excuse though. When I was younger I was skinny. Then I started to get the depo-prevara (sp?) birthcontrol injections, and gained 40 lbs in a about 3 months. I was so hungry all the time. Then I gained the rest of it after working the night shift and eating to keep my energy level up. I get next to no exercise.

I'm just ready for a change. I want to change everything. I want to start eating for the taste not the quantity. I want to be able to walk more than a few blocks before I have to sit down. I want to go shopping and buy pretty clothes instead of just ordering clothing that is SO not flattering.

I'm willing and ready to do whatever I have to do to be healthy again.

"I weighed 165 lbs. when I was 13 and was considered a fat freak; now I can't wait to weigh 165 again."

That hit home. Really really hard too. I was actually 11 at the time, but that number haunts me. I was a pudgy kid and my parents put me on my first diet when I was 7 or 8. I remember sneaking candy in bed when the lights were out. I think that first pudgyness when I was a kid was a genetic metabolism issue, but it became a control issue after that. I would sneak candy in bed, I would buy snacks in school with my allowance, whatever. When I was 11 and in Jr. High my dad put me on slimfast and weighed me EVERY STINKING MORNING. I was at 165 at that time and that's why that number haunts me. I would get up to 170ish, and lie about my daily weigh in because he would hound me about what I was eating, and I didn't want to hear it. My friends weren't on diets and I didn't want to be either! This was also shortly after my parent's divorce, which didn't help matters much.

I went to live with my mom when I was 13, and she tried to cook good meals and not keep junk in the house, but I was already "conditioned". I'd buy things at the school cafeteria, or at the market that was on the way home from school.

I gained steadily throughout high school. I wasn't paying enough attention to notice, but my mom tells me that when I bought my first car and moved out I gained a good 40 lbs quickly. She hit the nail on the head when she said it was about control. My apartment, my car, I can do what ever I want, and what I want to do is eat a can of frosting with a spoon! At the time I had a friend who was a bit bigger than me, and I kind of always justified myself by saying that as long as I didn't get bigger than her, I was ok. So we got bigger together >.<

So I guess that's why I'm fat. There's probably something that started from before I was 7, but I can't remember...

Wow maybe your dad and my dad talked! LOL!!! I started the same - my weight I remember is 155lbs I thought I was such a pig - I cant wait to be 155 again. I wish someone told me and my dad that I will NEVER look like my friends who weighed 100lbs and had no boobs or hips - I was curvy - boobs before anyone so of course I would be bigger. I hid my food - I still do - Ive been in outpatient and In patient for Eating disorders - bulimia until I became pregnant with my 1st child - then binge eating without the purging after - I havnt seen the 100's since 1999. I used to say I wish I was addicted to alcohol or drugs - that way If I just didnt have any or keep it in the house I could have a real chance of stopping. I cannot get away from food - I NEED it to live but I seem to always NEED it to get though tough times too. I put too much importance on it and now its like air sometimes.

I thank you all for sharing and am so happy to have found this website. I feel like I can tell you all anything and not be judged - I cant wait to be banded on March 7th and start a very new life with food and myself.

I wish you all the best too!!!!

I have to say I was an emotional eater too. Some people get depressed and they stop eating, oh no I was the eater. Still have some of that . . but not anything like before. Food was my best friend it was hard to say goodbye but it was for the best

Cheri

I am a determined person. When I decide to succeed at anything I do it. That all stops at food! I cannot control myself!

I like pampering myself, If I want something, I get it. Be that an ipod, a car, or a pizza. It works for me in areas outside of food, because what is want is usually very reasonable and well within my abilities, and I can control it when it's not within my abilities.

With food - I just want more! Carbs carbs and carbs. If a meal has no carbs in it, then it's not worth having!! and I'm no fan of dessert.

I find that people who like desert do better - because you cannot have a bowl of chocolate, that's just too sweet! but you can certainly have bowls and bowls of french fries.

As a kid I was not happy, now that I control my life all I want is to be happy. Food makes me happy. Being thin & healthy would also make me happy. Now I just gotta find the right balance between both, enough food to make me happy, but not so much that it gets me fat and unhappy

When I was in junior high, my mother was always dieting. I am the youngest of 4, and once I hit 6th grade, everyone left home but me. So every January 1, we started a diet. I remember we had a bet. Whoever lost 20lbs first got a new outfit. I never reached that. When I was in high school, I never really thought of myself as heavy. I was, but I never weighed myself, and I was tall, so it was hidden well. When I went to college, a bunch of my friends and I were having college fun, and got on the scale to see who could guess how much we all weighed. I got guesses like 150, 161, even a 149. Then I got on the scale 212!! No one believed it. However, I left that night with it burned in my mind. I am 212. However, I never got below 212, just kept creeping up. The lowest I have ever been was 239 after my son was born. Now I am 270. I am defintely a fast food junkie, and always made excuses that I am tall so I am can gain a little more. My surgeon even said I hide my weight well. That goodness for tall genes!!!!

I tell you, this is a tough question! I would never admit that I was a closet eater since the 3rd grade. I do remember growing up in a time that being chubby was unacceptable. My family was skinny and needed to gain weight but I was always put on a diet. I am not trying to blame my family nor society for my weight problem by no means, just an explanation. I have a highly addicted personality and most of my life, food was my addiction. After MANY years of weight fluxing, I finally gave up when I was 35 and ate what I felt like with no regaurd to the scale. Turns out all this time, It was my problem, who would of thunk it? The mind body connection is very powerful. I am in counseling right now for this and to help my LapBand Tool. Life is good, I am blessed for having the opportunity for counseling and this surgery! I am fat because I chose to be fat! I will lose weight because I choose to lose weight!

Tira

I am fat because I work the Night shift at a PD and am a Bored eater and have a love/hate relationship with food! I LOVE the taste of it but hate how I feel afterward.

Why am i fat? I'm convinced it's because in my previous life i was an anorexic b!tch. So this time around i came back as a hungry girl in love with food. Especially anything smothered in chocolate or fried. I grew up with women who used food as a comfort when life was hard...trust me it was hard. And as i was dragged by my mother from one bad experience to the next i found something that made me happy. Food. There will probably always be something comforting about food. Now my challenge is to love food butnot use and abuse food. Food can still be my friend but myself and my new tool(band) have a plan to get thin. This is the end of one road and now im turning on to the new road.

I am fat (lost 68 still have 50 to go) because I love to cook and eat really fatty foods, and in the past, I was not a fan of working out. Before my band, I never felt a sense of fullness or satisfaction. I thought about food 24/7. Part of that was my depression. I was banded in 2006 and had thyroid problems, so I lost nothing. Getting on meds helped a lot. I ended up backsliding though and was drinking lots of sodas and eating the worst foods you can imagine. I also stopped getting fills so I could eat more. Last March, I decided to get serious again. I dieted and exercised and lost 20 lbs over 9 months. It was very frustrating b/c I was eating 1200 claories a day and working out 6+ hours a week. I got frustrated and backed off for about 4 months. Turns out, my thyroid meds needed adjusting. Now that they are adjusted, I am eating right, exercising, and my weight loss has picked up.

So, I guess I'm fat for lots of reasons including a love of food, laziness, depression, thyroid issues, and past lack of commitment to the program. If nothing else, I have lost 68 lbs and kept it off. Now I am going back full steam ahead, working the band as much as I can, cutting carbs, and working out. I am totally committed to losing these last 50. I figured if I could diet and exercise and work the band for 9 months, even with the disappointing weight loss, I can certainly finish the game with improved weight loss from my thyroid med adjustment.

This is an awesome thread. Thank you for starting it. Why am I fat? There are so many reasons, a lot of them already mentioned. I grew up being told I was big boned. Obesity runs in the family, every one of my Aunts and Uncles on my Mom's side are obese. My father is obese. I was handed so many excuses over the years and I ate them up. It was so much easier to blame genetics for my problems than look at myself. It didn't help that we grew up being told to "finish what is on your plate and eat it all or no dessert". As I grew older, I ate based on my emotions. Didn't matter what emotion, I just ate. I married my highschool sweetheart, a very thin man. When I would try to diet I would shop twice, once for "diet" food and another for "regular" food. Then came the problem of fertility. The meds helped pack on 30 pounds. It was never ending. After getting a divorce, I was eating all the wrong things at the wrong time. I finally found myself in a good situation and ended up pregnant. Guess I didn't have fertility issues after all. On to the next chapter, baby weight, I didn't bounce back like I'd hoped, of course not eating properly or excercising had a lot to do with that. But I never looked too hard at my habits. Certainly not hard enough to see what was right in front of me. Now while I still battle portion control issues (no restriction yet) I eat much healthier and finally feel that I can take control of how I look and ultimately how I feel both inside and out.

I guess with me it was the childhood mantra of eat everything on your plate because throwing away food is wrong. I would think...then don't serve me so much. But of course back in the old days you wouldn't dare even think of speaking like that to your parents. Meals were served, you sat, ate, then said prayer after. Both my parents come from a different country and the custom to say prayer after meals is the norm. Any way I giggled at the person who would make a night meal/party for themselves. I can so relate to that. I would do that too! I had 3 brothers so I had my own room and at night I would have these elegant meals all alone. A closet eater? I feel this could have been the beginning of my night eating. As a teen I began to lift weights with my brothers. 180 lbs and in a size 12. By the time I was in my 30's with 6 kids and still under 200. Then in my late 30's my thyroid went totally out of whack. Didn't know what and the idiot doctor couldn't figure out what was wrong. Packed on almost 150 lbs. Changed doctors and got illness under control. But after that I kept playing up and down time after time with the same 40 lbs or so. I just got tired of it and am so happy I did this! Every year I spend 2 weeks at my parents house alone and we talk and heal many issues. My kids say I am like a different person each time I return!