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Choosing who to listen to



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Rant and soul-searching post...

I've been learning something about myself the past few weeks. I'm too easily influenced and led off the good path! Here's the kicker - it's from other bandsters!

I KNOW what works and what I should be eating. My clinic and dietician do a great job teaching and reinforcing. But between some of the posts on other boards (delightfully absent from our board here), and from chatting with people in the local support group, I get suggestions that I know darned well aren't what works for me.

- The dietician says to stay away from liquid calories (including Protein drinks) unless I'm on liquids post-fill. Someone suggests a shake etc. so I go for it.

- Someone suggests a recipe or prepared food item that really isn't the best choice, but they insist it's a great Protein source or whatever, so I try it.

- I think the support group I've been attending puts too much emphasis on food ideas. It's interesting to hear how to vary your diet, but I'm finding it just puts more attention to eating, which is the last obsession I want to reinforce!

Lo and behold - other foods sneak in, I start grazing again, and my loss slows down. Imagine that?!

So, contrary to what people suggest, I'm taking a break from the support group for awhile, and being more judicious about which threads I read on the message boards. I'm thinking it's the only way to regain my focus and better eating habits. I can spend that support group time at the gym or walking my dog, and I'll have a lot more time at work if I'm not out reading the repetitive and unhealthy posts on some of the boards.

I'll still be here to talk to all of you though, since this bunch has it down!!

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I listen to myself. I eat what I want, when I feel like it and that's not always virtuous choices.

I figure I'm living with this band for the rest of my life, I want a lifestyle that I can sustain for the rest of my life. To me, that does not mean shakes, cutting carbs, counting calories or Protein grounds. It means making healthy choices most of the time, enjoying a treat now and then and getting lots of exercise. It might be 1500 calories one day, 1000 the next and 1800 the day after that. Depending on what I'm doing, how hungry I am and what I choose to eat.

It gives people the horrors "oh, you CANT do that" etc etc

Guess what? It worked. And now I'm maintaining effortlessly.

I do NOT believe getting and staying thin is a complicated process that borders on obsession. Shut your gob and move your ass works well for me.

So if you dont like hearing all that conflicting advice, I think you are eminently sensible to stay away from it and follow your own instincts.

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Jaqui, you're an inspiration! I love your attitude too!

I've been worried all day that I may have offended someone here with my post today, and I hope that's not the case. It really was a self-observation and self-criticism than anything.

So, for the record, if I've inadvertantly offended anyone here, you have my deepest apologies! I hope I haven't, because I see this as one of the saner, common-sense boards!

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Let me tell you, we are all adults here and if what you said offended anyone then they just need to stay away and stop reading. So that was more offensive that anything you said. I agree with Jaqui that you have to do what is right for you and what you can live with. I could give the complete rundown of what I do, but that may totally backfire for you. My best advice would be to stick with what your doc/ nutritionist say to do. I don't drink anything with liquid calories...especially Protein drinks. Yes they are Protein, but dang most of them are FILLED with sugar and that makes me not lose weight, but for some they do fantastic drinking those DISGUSTING shakes. 98% of the time I eat only healthy things. That way when I do splurge a litte...who cares. Life is going to be like that. Ask yourself "What am I doing when I lose the most amount of weight?" Then think can I honestly live like that and not feel deprived? If you can't then guess what...you are on a diet and this is not about a diet...this is a lifestyle. So that means that you go from that level of optimum dieting and you make the modifications that you need to in order to be able to live and still lose weight. Right now I do think it sounds a little complicated, but we are just finding ourselves right now...on many different fronts. Once we determine what we can live with, I think that it will become effortless like it is for Jacqui. She is definetly right about forgetting about what we CANT do, and focusing on what we can.

So to summarize...Who should you listen too???? YOU!

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I agree with what you all are saying. Everybody has to find what will work for them for the long haul. Jacqui makes another great point about lots of exercise. If we're willing to make exercise a permanent part of our lives, what we eat is going to be less of an issue.

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I do my own thing. I eat a lot more calories than some other people, but I work out a lot too. So.......I do what works for me. I don`t think anyone will be offended by your post. Donna

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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