male only Who did you tell/talk to before

[Ceradad 10]

General comment, not directed at anyone in particular: You know every time one of us hides the fact that we've had WLS and passes off our weight loss as the result of willpower, diet and exercise alone, we reinforce the concept in other people's minds that the surgery is the "easy way out". The more successful we are in losing weight, the more other people will think "Hey, I know someone that dropped a ton of weight and they did it all by themselves, so that just proves that anyone can do it if they try!"

We have all come down the hard road of trying and failing at that approach, leading us to make this decision to have the surgery, so why are so many of us actively working to reinforce the idea that WLS is unnecessary?

My thoughts exactly. I told a few people close to me when I was considering it. After I got my surgery date, I told a few more people. It was never that I was ashamed I was getting the surgery, it was more that I was ashamed I had let myself get to the point I needed the surgery. (Does that make sense to anyone else?)

I told my DW after I started the process with the surgeon and all. I wanted to make sure I was committed before telling her. She had concerns as well. Said it shouldn't be necessary or that there were risks. I finally sat her down and told her I needed to lose "one of her" to be healthy. That stopped her cold. I don't think she had ever thought about my weight in those terms.

My friends I told were very supportive. They knew the struggles I had and that things weren't quite right with me.

Since the surgery, I've had many people walk right up to me that have never really talked to me before, and ask if I'm losing weight. (Amazes me how people think this is acceptable and their business, especially skinny people. But, that's for another time). I tell them I had the surgery and EMPHASIZE that I am literally working my butt off. I tell them I am in the gym EVERY morning doing cardio and 4 nights a week lifting. I tell them about the struggles I've had in the past. And, I tell them how much better I feel.

Ultimately, it is your decision. Both as to whether the surgery is right for you and whether you want to tell others about it. I figured if I chose the right people, I would have more moral support. I was right. As for you DW, she is probably worried about the surgery itself and what could happen to you during that if a complication arose. Just let her know that there are less complications during this than the full bypass.

Good luck!