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Who know, who doesn't, and why???



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I'll be 35 in a few weeks. I need this change in my life, I feel, to move forward and really grow, not only professionally, but personally too.

I've only told a few people about my surgery. I have two neighbors who know, and the person who's taking me on the day of my surgery. That's it!!

The person taking me, also has a band. We've become a lot closer since I found out she has the band. I had asked one of my two neighbors to take me since I though I'd have the surgery shortly after I decided it was for me. Insurance had other plans though. It's been a while now so I'm sure she's forgotten it.

I was going to tell my mom, but changed my mind. I don't like keeping this from her, but while she was here for C'mas, she left a food-stuff here saying that it would help me lose weight, "be a better choice for me". It was a butter made w/ yogurt. I don't really eat a lot of butter, and it hurt me. I know she only did it to help, so I can't really be that mad. But that's what changed my mind. I'll tell them after I've lost some weight, when they see me next, in March or so.

I'm also hoping that this weight loss will improve my career. I work in a male-dominated field and I'm very frustrated that I've not been promoted in the 3 years I've worked there. Plus the fact that when a position came open, and they promote from w/ in (Hahaha, jokes on you!!!!), that I was not even considered for it. And Yes, I did tell my boss that I wanted to move into that position!!! What good is it to keep getting certifications if you can't/aren't being allowed to use them????

That's most of my story. I won't bore you w/ the rest but I'd love to hear why you have decided or not to tell who ever!

;)

Shandra

TX_IT_Chick!!

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I've told, pretty much anyone who's close to me. My boss at work even knows, and she was very supportive. My family, although apprehensive about it at first, turned out to be very supportive. I think of it like a hip replacement or a pacemaker..... It's a medical procedure... that will make you healthier and feel better, it's nothing to be ashamed of... Once I started talking about at work, I discovered 5 others who had had weight loss procedures, and I've gained a great support system at work. Do what feels comfortable for you, but for me I've found it was easier/just as easy to tell people as it would be to keep it under wraps....

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I had the surgery last june and i told everyone. For me since my weight loss has been slow. I wish i would of only told just a few. My highest weight was 217 i am now down to 191. the reason i wish i would of only told a few is because every one thinks the surgery is like having the Gastric Bypass. Where the weight falls off so much faster. i feel that when people see me now they expect a much more dramatic weight loss. I am very glad i did it and am losing the weight just slow. I believe it is an individual decision. Best of luck to you

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I've told anyone who asks about my weight loss. I don't claim to have done it on my own. Before the surgery I told a couple of close friends and family.

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I chose to tell only a few people, I told my close family and 1 person at work. My best friend and I got our bands together so that has been great support for me. I am to the point to where I wish that I would have not told my family, because they constantly ask me how I'm feeling, how much I've lost, if food is still getting stuck, when my next fill is and they tell everyone! I think we definatley need support in this journey, just really think about how much you want to tell and what your going to tell them. It seems like you have made a good friend which is always good! I wish you the best of luck with your surgery! It is the best thing that I could have ever done for myself! I just wish I would have kept it to myself longer!

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I've told everyone who needs to know. I'm not keeping it from anyone, if someone asked I tell. Most people at work know since everyone loves to gossip so much. They all want to when the surgery is scheduled for and if the insurance is covering it. As it turns out there are a lot of people at work that are considering the surgery themselves but I so scared. I tell them of my process and how this is safer than the bypass cause it's reversible IF there are any complications.

So let everyone know I don't care it's not their life I'm changing it's MINE!!;)

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I didn't tell anyone except my mother. Honestly, I didn't want to tell her because I knew she would drive me crazy saying things like you really don't need surgery and why not do what you were doing before (exercising 2 hrs. a day ) and my personal favorite, "Oh honey I think you feel warm. Do you feel okay?" The only reason I told her was because I needed her to drive me there and bring me back home. I feel that telling people is a very personal decision so please consider before telling people. Once you say it you can't take it back. Once you tell people they will watch you like a hawk and keep track of your progress good or bad. I have enough on my plate from friends and a stressfull job so I had no intentions of adding more stress.

Best wishes to you and yours!

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I've told only a few very close friends and NO family, mainly cuz I dont want my family to worry. Hopefully they will see the result's soon enough and ask, then I'll tell em.

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I made the decision to only tell my DH (of course) and my mom. I did this because I know a lot of people that had bypass and have gained most of their weight back. I didn't want anyone to judge me or watch what I was eating. I am VERY glad I did this because I am losing slowly. Everyone around me is noticing I am losing weight and I just tell them I am watching what I am eating and eating less and that is not a lie.

I think it is a personal decision, but just know that once you tell people you cannot take it back. Maybe once I get near or at goal I might tell people.

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I told my whole family and my co-workers. Before my surgery I had a weight lost party at a mexican restaurtant

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I told my dh, and two family members. I also told my closest friends who have all been wonderful except for one (who has her own issues). I am going to be 34 this year and my kids are past the baby stage with one of them starting full time pre school this year. I feel that I have been giving so much of myself the last 5 years and putting my needs on the backburning while I raise my kids. Well, they don't need me as much as they used to and so now it is time for me to get back a little bit of myself. I need to have an identity that goes beyond *mom* and *wife*. I am looking at this year with optimism and am really looking forward to moving forward, kwim?

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I've had the opportunity to have several friends who have had the surgery and am glad that they have been a support system for me. However, sometimes, I just get sick and tired of talking about it. Yes, I have made a life-changing decision and have had the surgery. BUT, that truly does not define WHO I am. I'm still going to be opinionated, outspoken and an all around fantastic person! I just won't be as ROUND as I once was.

I too, did this to help in advancing myself in my career. I want to go into an interview to be a school principal looking like I will be capable of walking those hallowed halls and be able to keep up with the students!

However, one of my favorite things, lately, is seeing someone I haven't seen in a few weeks... and them telling me how much they think I've changed. It's a really good self-esteem booster. I want to remain humble, but DAMN it feels good!

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I feel the same way. I will be 35 this year in May. I think the surgery was a good decision for me. But I think my husband is not going to be able to handle my weight loss. But a girl have to do what a girl have to do.

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Shoot! I've told everybody! My mom, my brother, my boss, all the girls in the office with me, my friends and if I'd been able to catch him, the mail man when he dropped my mail Saturday! LOL! they all know I'm fat, (hello-look at me!) and I'm excited to be doing something about it finally! Hell, I'd even shout it from the bow of the Titanic like Leo if I could! I'm embarassed by being fat not doing something about it! But every one that knows has been very supportive of me. The only person I'm getting crap about it from is DH, and I'm with Kudo on that one, I just don't think he can handle it.

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Shoot! I've told everybody! My mom, my brother, my boss, all the girls in the office with me, my friends and if I'd been able to catch him, the mail man when he dropped my mail Saturday! LOL! they all know I'm fat, (hello-look at me!) and I'm excited to be doing something about it finally! Hell, I'd even shout it from the bow of the Titanic like Leo if I could! I'm embarassed by being fat not doing something about it! But every one that knows has been very supportive of me. The only person I'm getting crap about it from is DH, and I'm with Kudo on that one, I just don't think he can handle it.

where are u from?

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    • Doughgurl

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      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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