What to say to friends who think that surgery is “cheating” or lazy

[Dub 10,025]

On 4/23/2025 at 8:30 AM, GmaBecks said:

.....It only matters that I know that this is hard work butI’m doing it for ME!

That is the best answer of all.

The real answer.

Truth is, you could give people a gazillion reasons. They may or may not buy into it. It is their hangup not yours.

Your energy is being directed on solving matters with the tools you have available. Your health is the goal...not their feelings about the matter.

The people who really care will see you feeling better and doing better and they'll be happy for you. They will also see that there is still much work being done by you....much adherence to a new way of eating....more moving and exercise....more feeling better.

[Arabesque 7,590]

I bet you’ve tried a lot of diets and tried many different exercise plans & I bet you’ve were committed to them too but didn’t continue because they didn’t work for you or were to restrictive or had negative side effects, etc. If diets and exercise programs alone worked no one would be obese.

People have to change their thinking about how they look at obesity. Obesity is a disease. There are psychological, physiologically, emotional, genetic & other complex & nuanced factors behind obesity. Unless your critics are obese they cannot understand what you have experienced. If you had a respiratory disease, heart disease, cancer, etc. would they say you’re cheating or taking the easy way out by having surgery or taking meds?? You have made a choice to become healthier. You have made a choice to be there for your family and friends for a long time. You have made a choice to be able to live your life as you want to live and enjoy it.

Weight loss surgery is not an easy way out. There is no easy fix. Surgery opens the door to an opportunity. What you do with that opportunity is up to you and the long term effort you apply to it.

Good on you!

[NeonRaven8919 584]

On 4/28/2025 at 1:05 PM, NickelChip said:

"Surgery is cheating? Oh no! I didn't know there were rules. Have I forfeited my eligibility to be awarded a weight loss trophy? I guess I'll just have to take looking good in my clothing and not dying prematurely as a consolation prize."

"You can either be supportive of my decision or you can stop talking because I didn't ask for your opinion and am not seeking advice at this time."

"Oh, is today the day we're sharing what we disagree with about each other's life decisions? Hold on, let me go get my list. I've got a few things for you that I'm sure you'll want to hear."

The bottom line is, you have the right to live your life the way you see fit. The people making comments like this are not trying to be helpful. They are trying, even if they don't realize it themselves, to control you and take away your right to do what you feel is best for you. When you try to explain and convince them, you play into the idea that they have a right to tell you what to do or that you need their permission. What they don't expect is for you to have the confidence to laugh in their face at their audacity and tell them point blank to get back in their own f*ing lane. And they will not like it one bit when you do, but it'll feel pretty fantastic on your end.

NickelChip, I love your posts! You always have a way with words!

[ms.sss 15,813]

ok. i'm going to go at this a different way:

THEM: surgery is the easy way out.

ME: yep, its definitely makes it "easier" for me than without it. but...why do you want it to be hard for me? do you want me to suffer or something?

with that said, i only told Hubs, The Kid, Mom, Favourite Sister and super-BFF. of them all, only super-BFF leaned SLIGHTLY that weird way in her response: "it's like using CLIFF notes to write an essay. you can get away with not doing the work to read the book." i was a little taken aback with her reply, but not enough to stew over it.

i'm 130 lbs less than i was before almost 7 years ago. i'm healthy, happy and HAWT. are you?

*mic drop*