Went for my endoscopy this morning…it did not go well ☹️ I freaked out completely - crying, retching, honestly thought I’d wet myself as I got in such a state (thanks pads) They tried twice, the first time they didn’t get the camera down past my throat. The bloke (don’t know his official name) who was doing it was lovely, no issues with him, talked me through it etc. The nurses I wasn’t too keen on but that wasn’t anything major. The second time they tried, he got the camera in to my stomach but I started freaking out again - just the feeling of it at the back of my throat even though I’d had throat spray to numb. At this point the nurses tried holding me in place (for want of a better explanation) and that undid me completely.

I have never reacted to anything like that before. I think it’s massively triggered something from childhood that I certainly wasn’t prepared for and it’s really thrown me. One of the nurses wasn’t happy as I’d either scratched or nipped her when she’d tried to keep me in place. I just felt completely dismissed by both nurses because the procedure was a fail, which didn’t help with my reactions either. I’ve battered the living daylights out of one of my knees so I’m in agony from that plus I’m feeling very tearful. The nice man said I could be booked in for sedation-type thingy but it didn’t sound as though it was a case of being knocked out, more ‘spaced out’ if that makes sense? He said it should hopefully take the edge off but I don’t think that’s going to work. I’ve rung the unit since getting home in order to speak to a nurse regarding different types of sedation and I’m just waiting for a call back to discuss. I want to be knocked out, it’s very simple. I can’t go through the freaking out again.

In the grand scheme of things, I didn’t have negatively reacting to an endoscopy on my list of things that would screw me up on this WLS journey.

wow - they didn't knock you out? I've had two or three of them and they always sedate me (and you're right, it's not general anesthesia - it's the same type of anesthesia they use for colonoscopies. You're technically awake, but you have no idea what's going on and don't remember anything afterward). I've never heard of an endoscopy without any kind of sedation. That would be awful!

Omg that sounds like torture. I can’t even believe they do that procedure without sedation. I just had it under that they call “twilight anesthesia” and I don’t remember a thing. It’s not genera anesthesia but to me it felt quite the same. The only difference was I woke up a lot quicker from it once it was done.

Oh I am so sorry that this has happened

I completely can empathise with unexpected reactions on account of childhood things - the body holds a lot of trauma and sometimes it comes out in unexpected ways.

I genuinely hope that they can give you the kind of sedation you require - I really hope it is smooth sailing for you from here on out x

Thanks everyone. I’ve had a call back from a Sister from the unit. They are really lacking in empathy. I felt I was being patronised and being accused of going in this morning with the attitude that it was going to be difficult. Actually, no I didn’t. I had no concerns at all, hubby had an endoscopy last Friday for something else and it was very simple and straightforward for him. I was expecting the same - why would I expect anything different?? It took some effort to get the Sister to actually have some understanding of what I was trying to say, and even then she wasn’t convinced I don’t think. I tried to remain calm but it wasn’t happening. I think it was me saying that if I reacted the same was next time under the ‘spaced out’ sedation then I will take myself off the Bariatric surgery list. I think this finally made her realise how serious I was. She’s now putting a note on to whoever’s list I am on to request an anaesthetist procedure so I am completely knocked out. Apparently it will cause a delay going forward with the bariatric surgery etc as there’s a long wait but so be it.

UPDATE: Just had a call to see if I wanted to go to the sister hospital tomorrow morning for 8am for a fully knocked out endoscopy - YES PLEASE!! The relief ?

Edited July 9, 20242 yr by MrsFitz
Update

8 minutes ago, MrsFitz said:

Thanks everyone. I’ve had a call back from a Sister from the unit. They are really lacking in empathy. I felt I was being patronised and being accused of going in this morning with the attitude that it was going to be difficult. Actually, no I didn’t. I had no concerns at all, hubby had an endoscopy last Friday for something else and it was very simple and straightforward for him. I was expecting the same - why would I expect anything different?? It took some effort to get the Sister to actually have some understanding of what I was trying to say, and even then she wasn’t convinced I don’t think. I tried to remain calm but it wasn’t happening. I think it was me saying that if I reacted the same was next time under the ‘spaced out’ sedation then I will take myself off the Bariatric surgery list. I think this finally made her realise how serious I was. She’s now putting a note on to whoever’s list I am on to request an anaesthetist procedure so I am completely knocked out. Apparently it will cause a delay going forward with the bariatric surgery etc as there’s a long wait but so be it.

I have a lot of thoughts about them making you feel judged or not empathized with and all of that but honestly I am just glad that is behind you now and that you have a plan to move ahead. Just keep trudging forward. You will get there.

1 hour ago, ShoppGirl said:

I have a lot of thoughts about them making you feel judged or not empathized with and all of that but honestly I am just glad that is behind you now and that you have a plan to move ahead. Just keep trudging forward. You will get there.

Oh I have lots and lots of thoughts too but I’m at a different hospital tomorrow so I will put it to one side for now. Unfortunately (for them) I was given a feedback form to complete as I was leaving today so, once I’m back on an even keel I will be giving them my thoughts ?

I managed to juggle my knee X-rays tomorrow (back at original hospital) As long as I can get to the department by 4pm I will be seen. If I had to rebook then they are looking at the end of August/beginning of September as apparently COVID is doing the rounds once again.

Dinner, chill and a relaxing bath I think…

Ive have multiple endoscopies and I was never awake for any of them. What was the reason they didn’t sedate you the first time?

Edit: I see now that it was twilight sedation

Edited July 9, 20242 yr by GreenTealael

18 minutes ago, GreenTealael said:

Ive have multiple endoscopies and I was never awake for any of them. What was the reason they didn’t sedate you the first time?

Edit: I see now that it was twilight sedation

First they use throat spray to numb so you’re fully awake. If that’s not successful then it’s the twilight sedation and then fully knocked out as a last resort. Probably a money saving strategy so they don’t have to have an anaesthetist on call ?‍♀️ Hubby had throat spray and was fine, however I wasn’t!

Ok, what??? I've had 5 endoscopies. Every single one, I was completely out. I was given Propofol. There's absolutely NO WAY I would have done it awake. That's completely insane!!! I don't know if it's that you're triggered from a trauma you can't remember or you're newly triggered from a trauma you've just experienced because of them!!! That's so crazy that they kept you awake. I have never, in my life, heard of that. I'm so sorry

That’s crazy that they don’t use anaesthetic right from the get go. Twilight anaesthetic is amazing. It was years ago but I remember them putting in the mouthpiece & nothing else until the cup of tea & sandwich they gave me after. It’s all an odd memory though like it happened to someone else & they told me about it. The after effects are pretty mild to non existent too not like general anaesthetic where you can feel wiped out for a couple of days & generally off.

Hope the next one is a completely different & easy experience.

On 7/9/2024 at 12:18 PM, MrsFitz said:

First they use throat spray to numb so you’re fully awake. If that’s not successful then it’s the twilight sedation and then fully knocked out as a last resort. Probably a money saving strategy so they don’t have to have an anaesthetist on call ?‍♀️ Hubby had throat spray and was fine, however I wasn’t!

Just no. Absolutely no thanks to all of this tomfoolery. Never let them cheap out on you again.