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Trying to start the process again



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Hi all,

my name is Carrielee. I’m 32, from TN. I’ve been overweight/obese since childhood and the weight keeps piling on as well as the co-morbid diagnoses. I was finally referred to Bariatric surgery earlier this year after an Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension diagnosis and just finally scheduled my initial consult. I’m scared and anxious and overwhelmed and questioning things but also don’t want to die early and that’s where I’m headed with things as they are so it’s time for a change. At 5’1”, I currently weigh 298 pounds, putting me at a BMI of 56.3.


I currently have Hypertension refractory to medications, Type II Diabetes, angina, high cholesterol and triglycerides, sleep apnea, arthritis in most joints, past history of pulmonary embolism, IIH, fatty liver disease, tachycardia. I’m on a fast track to early death due to obesity like my mom and grandfather faced and that isn’t what I want my reality to be.

i considered it about a year ago and started the process for surgery to happen, but backed out, gained more weight and lost more health. I’m literally eating myself to death and it’s not what I want for myself.


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Imagine you're in an airplane, and it's heading straight towards a mountain. The mountain has many names; Mt. Diabetes, Mt. Depression, Mt. sleep Apnea, Mt. Early Death, everything you mentioned. Time is running out, and it's getting bigger, and bigger in your windscreen...

In a few weeks, it'll be two years post for me, and hindsight is so enlightening. I tried so many things, over so much time, and for so many reasons that mountain still kept getting closer. When it became unavoidable, I took evasive action, and had the procedure. It was like Top Gun man... the nose rotated up, fired the afterburners, and next thing I know, the mountain is below me, and I'm in clear skies, all those conditions gone, or handled. No one knows how it ends, but it feels damn good to be flying, instead of crashing.

Bringing it back, right now that mountain might be all you see. It's scary, and it's intimidating, but you can absolutely overcome it. Congrats on starting the process again. Wishing you nothing but the best!

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If you do this surgery and when you have got through the rough first weeks, you will know you have done the right thing, my diabetes, high blood pressure and breathlessness just faded away. I know your Apnoea will go soon too because many others on here suffered with it.

Hold your nerves if you can, everyone is very nervous, we all jumped into the unknown and I am fairly sure we would all do it again tomorrow

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I have sleep apnea, arthiritis, fatty liver and high cholesterol and am scared as well but I'm also scared of all of these conditions I have and developing more later in life if I don't take control of my obesity. So I have made the decision to go through with the surgery for reals this time and not cancel like twice before.

All I can do now is do everything I can to help this surgery go smoothly. I'm three weeks out and am following a semi liquid diet (even though my doctors office told me it wasn't necessary because I know shrinking my liver and more weight loss before surgery is safer and better)

I take all my supplements and more (with Dr approval) I make sure to get my Protein in to promote faster healing and I've begun therapy/support groups. I'm going to try to take as little pain medication as possible after surgery because too many opiods and surgery dont mix. It seems like all these "celebrity deaths" (Kanye west mother, Lisa marie presleu) after surgery had opiods as a factor. I currently had been taken tylenol codeine #3 (a mild opiod) three times a day for arthiritis and that stopped today. I'm not taking any chances even with this mild one. When I have pain I will use creams or tens therapy or hell even book a massage but I am doing everything In my power to prevent complications.

I've read books and gained a lot of knowledge about the surgery and have asked patients here how they've done it. That's all we can do and then leave the rest up to God/the powers that be.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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