I am three weeks post Sleeve surgery. Today my father said to me, “when will I be able to tell a difference when I look at you?“ This comment stung because I have lost 40 pounds since beginning the process in November. However, I still have more than 100 to go. Despite losing the weight, none of my clothes, fit any differently, I have not gone down in size, and nobody has noticed the weight loss except for me. My question is, how far along after your surgery were you before people noticed you were losing weight?

Give yourself space and time to heal. It's 3 weeks. At the size most of us are/were at surgery, weight loss ISN'T visible until months after. I know it's hard, but try to block out the voices of others, it's not helpful. Concentrate on healing, be patient, focus on the plan and distract yourself where possible. You'll be experiencing non-scale-victories frequently, so enjoy those as they come.

I honestly didn't get any "you're looking smaller" comments until a good 3/4 months after surgery. I was 130kg and wore my weight from head to toe, so even a ten kilogram loss wasn't a big visual change at that stage.

I’m sorry your dad is being unsupportive. It’s always hardest to block out hurtful comments by those we love. Did you point out how much you’ve actually lost?

It was early in the second month post surgery I think when a friend commented. I was wearing a more fitted dress that used to pull across my butt & tummy a bit in the past & now skimmed. I’d lost about 12kg ( 26lbs) in total. I was still wearing mostly the same clothes but they fit better. The only pieces that were verging on too big were those with proper waist bands everything else had elastic bands or drawstrings so could fit multi sizes.

However, importantly, my staring weight was less than yours (based on what you want to lose) so it took less weight loss to see any difference.

You’re losing weight from all over your body not just your torso. Try taking photos & body measurements - thighs, calves, upper & lower arms, waist, hips, breast & compare those too not just the scales & the size on your clothing tags. Remember the difference between one size & the next is usually 2 inches so, for e.g., your waist would have to be a good 2 inches smaller for you to need to drop a size (in a fitted waist outfit). General advice is if you lose about 10lbs you’ll drop a size but that really only applies to those in the healthy weight range & dropping say from a US size 12 - 10. If you’re smaller it takes less weight loss & vice versa.

Your dad will be changing his thinking in another month or so. Keep up your great work.

I had my surgery in June 2015, and people didn't start noticing until October 2015, so four months. But I weighed well over 300 lbs, so I'm not that surprised that it took that long. *I* could tell, but I'm sure I still looked really heavy to others....it was probably hard to see nuances until I'd dropped a lot of weight (well, it was hard for ME to see nuances sometimes as well).

I just checked my spreadsheet - at four months out, I was down 52 lbs. So I had to lose over 50 lbs for people to start noticing.

Arabesque is right - take photos of yourself - or have someone else take them - every month. I had my husband take them every month on my surgery date until I hit maintenance. Sometimes you can't tell from one month to the next that you're looking thinner, but if you compare current photos to the ones from three or four months prior - yep - you can definitely see the difference.

just to add that I thought that was a pretty sh*tty thing that your dad said.

3 hours ago, Smanky said:

Give yourself space and time to heal. It's 3 weeks. At the size most of us are/were at surgery, weight loss ISN'T visible until months after. I know it's hard, but try to block out the voices of others, it's not helpful. Concentrate on healing, be patient, focus on the plan and distract yourself where possible. You'll be experiencing non-scale-victories frequently, so enjoy those as they come.

I honestly didn't get any "you're looking smaller" comments until a good 3/4 months after surgery. I was 130kg and wore my weight from head to toe, so even a ten kilogram loss wasn't a big visual change at that stage.

I totally agree with this. Don't stress too much about how much you have lost and if you look different or not. Focus your energy on healing and following the post-op diet. People lose weight differently. For me, I lost most of the weight on my thighs and lower body at first and for the first few months my face almost looked the same.

3 weeks is too early to see any noticeable changes to be honest and your body is still healing. That is also when most of us got the infamous three-weeks stall. At least that was the case for me. Good luck

Edited March 7, 20233 yr by omrhsn

I'm a little over 3 months out and I've lost 47lbs from my heaviest (32lbs from surgery date). People just started noticing just in the past few days. My husband of course noticed within weeks after the surgery even though my clothes still hid most of my weight loss. I tried to pay attention to all the non scale victories, like my ankles weren't swollen anymore, my shoes and slippers fit better, and my rings could fit my fingers in the first few weeks. I also was happier that my blood pressure was down and that my sleep apnea has gotten better and that happened almost immediately after surgery.

Everyone loses weight differently, for me it is first in my face/neck and waist, so it is easier for people to tell. I was told I was losing weight 1 week post op, and I had lost about 15lbs at that point, but I also retain a lot of water. I also believe that those that see you more often will take longer to tell you about your weight loss. I'm 3.5 months post op and last week my husband asked me if I'm losing weight lol. Just hang in there, keep doing what you're doing, and things will move in the right direction.

If you're like me and carry your weight evenly all over your body, your weight loss is not going to be obvious for a while.

I'm 4.5 months post op and my husband can finally start to see it in my face. I've lost nearly 50 pounds since surgery.

The only reason why I know that my clothes are fitting differently, is because the skirt that I wear when I go to town, now needs a belt. All my other bottoms have either elastic or drawstring waists, so it's hard to gauge my size. I can see it in the t-shirt I took my picture in, the night before surgery - but there hasn't been much change in most of my clothes.

It took 65 pounds for me to really see the difference in my clothes and then it was like overnight, I burned through all the available clothes in my closet. Unfortunately, when you're bigger, it seems to take longer to feel the results. Now that I've lost 140, when I gain 5, I can FEEL it whereas before 5lbs was not even a blip on my radar. Give yourself some grace and stay the course.

First, I bet what your Dad said really hurt. I'm sorry he said that to you. I'm not sure what people are thinking when they hear the words "weight loss surgery." Sometimes I get the feeling they assume someone snapped their fingers over your body and now the excess weight is just going to melt off of you. If that were true, maybe..MAYBE you could see a difference in 3 weeks. But this isn't a magic bullet and you're not going to melt away. Your body has figured out how to store and hold that fat for many years. It's not going to let go so easily. I know this going into surgery (mine is scheduled for 3/13), but I'm sure someone will need to remind me when I'm a few weeks - and many months - in.

I'm so happy you can feel the difference yourself, because you're the only one who matters when it comes to this. Take care and good luck on your journey!

Honestly, ignore what your dad said. He may not have meant it the way it came out, but he still said it. As for how long, everyone is different. It took around 60 pounds before I could see a difference, and another 10 before others really noticed.

I lost 110 pounds before anyone commented, and then, all of a sudden, the opposite — people would not shut up about my weight! I was not happy about that because I’m a private person and didn’t want to discuss it. The timing corresponded to when I bought new pants because my old ones were falling off, even with a belt, so if you want people to notice, some new clothes might help. But don’t worry, people will start to notice!

I’ve seen people talk about weight loss as being like using a roll of paper towels. Take 10 sheets off a full roll and you can barely tell, but take 10 sheets from an almost empty roll and it makes a big difference.

Definitely be patient!! My highest weight was 295 & no one really noticed till I was down to 190. That's also when I finally started buying new clothes. It will take time but you will DEFINITELY see the results physically too!