This week we have a lot of visitors from the head office (I work in a remote site) and I've not seen some of them for quite sometime. Some even before Covid hit. I was the star of this week with everyone talking about my weight loss and all kinds of praise and encouragement. Almost everyone asked me how did I lose the weight including the big bosses from the client and the contractors.

I've only told my direct boss and the company managing director about my surgery. I took time-off to do it and told everyone else that I was going on vacation. It helped that we were still working from home while I was recovering so nobody noticed any change during that period.

I chose not to tell my coworkers because I didn't want the unsolicited advice and opinions some might have about the WLS and also the follow-up questions. I learned that from when I was on KETO and made the mistake of telling a few coworkers about it. Suddenly I would have people come over to talk to me about it or advising against it etc. It was too much. One guy in particular would come in a for a weekly update on how much weight did I lose etc.

Outside work, only my wife, my direct family and two of my closest friends know about my WLS. They have been very supportive and helped me throughout.

I've been telling people that I was on KETO, then started a low-carb diet and exercising. I even have a photo of me on my maintain bike to prove it ?. I would love to hear how did you respond to such questions / remarks?

Edited February 16, 20233 yr by omrhsn

I thank them for noticing, and then compliment them on something - "Oh, I love your ring" - "that's a great tie ! it matches perfectly with your pin stripe"..... and then they talk about themselves. If they come back to it again, I say that I am eating less, and moving more.

1 hour ago, BriarRose said:

I thank them for noticing, and then compliment them on something - "Oh, I love your ring" - "that's a great tie ! it matches perfectly with your pin stripe"..... and then they talk about themselves. If they come back to it again, I say that I am eating less, and moving more.

This is brilliant. People certainly love to talk about themselves more than listening to others doing it. I'll try this the next time and see how it works

I'm honest. I really don't care what peoples' opinions are. I almost died to get here. I'm proud I made it through to the other side. They can judge me if they want but I know the truth; this is far from the easy way out and if someone wants to treat me like it is, I appreciate them letting me know they're not someone I want to continue to maintain a relationship with.

I tell everyone. It is literally my metric now on who to cut out of my life. The folks who are supportive, I appreciate. The folks who are genuinely concerned, I reassure. The folks with nothing good to say, I cut out of my life. WLS wasn't just a procedure for me. It was healing, physically and mentally. The same way I wouldn't hop in a vat of acid, I won't deal with acidic people anymore. It's not good for me.

The other reason I talk about it, is because if I can help someone who was in my situation, I should. You see the hesitancy in them just asking about it; that kills me. I try to be as open, and reassuring as possible, because I was there before, and lucky enough to have a friend share his WLS journey.

"high protein calorie deficit" because it's still true!

On 2/26/2023 at 6:33 PM, pintsizedmallrat said:

I'm honest. I really don't care what peoples' opinions are. I almost died to get here. I'm proud I made it through to the other side. They can judge me if they want but I know the truth; this is far from the easy way out and if someone wants to treat me like it is, I appreciate them letting me know they're not someone I want to continue to maintain a relationship with.

I don't mind telling family members and close friends if I feel they might benefit from knowing. I didn't tell anyone at work (except from my boss and MD whom I consider to be friends etc) and I intend to keep it this way. Cutting ties with coworkers in not an option of course.

One thing that helped me is that I had a hiatal hernia- which I’d mentioned to friends from work before because I’ve always had “odd” eating issues. So it was easy to explain the time away by telling them that I’m finally getting it fixed- and I technically did, I just also had a few other major things done at the same time, lol.

When it comes to the weight loss (I’m not quite where anyone would notice just yet) I feel really weird about it. I’m always up front with people about things because I feel like people who leave big things out are misleading, which isn’t fair- for example, people often think I’m younger and ask about what skin care treatments I use or whatever, I’ll tell them, and say “….plus a hefty dose of Botox in my frown lines!” because I just feel weird about “taking credit” for something that’s not natural, or that what if they buy the same skincare stuff and expect the same results. Idk, I’m overthinking it probably.

But when it comes to my gastric bypass, I feel so much more private about it because I’m not anyone who would ever acknowledge my weight in any way. I just don’t feel comfortable with comments about my appearance at all, so I’m dreading people making comments of any kind, even that they think are positive. I’ve even told my husband to tell my MIL that I got it and to not make ANY comments about my weight in general or how much I’ve lost, no matter how complimentary she thinks they are. This is mainly because I was at a fit weight for most of my life, so she wasn’t shy about constantly commenting on my weight as it crept up (under the guise of concern, of course ?) so her saying things like “it’s about time you stopped eating so much and lost weight!” is not out of the question. I’m just hoping the vague “working with a nutritionist and working out!” will keep the people who I’m not close to from asking any further questions. Maybe I can just be a shut in and avoid it altogether, lol.

5 hours ago, 3Jaysmom said:

One thing that helped me is that I had a hiatal hernia- which I’d mentioned to friends from work before because I’ve always had “odd” eating issues. So it was easy to explain the time away by telling them that I’m finally getting it fixed- and I technically did, I just also had a few other major things done at the same time, lol.

When it comes to the weight loss (I’m not quite where anyone would notice just yet) I feel really weird about it. I’m always up front with people about things because I feel like people who leave big things out are misleading, which isn’t fair- for example, people often think I’m younger and ask about what skin care treatments I use or whatever, I’ll tell them, and say “….plus a hefty dose of Botox in my frown lines!” because I just feel weird about “taking credit” for something that’s not natural, or that what if they buy the same skincare stuff and expect the same results. Idk, I’m overthinking it probably.

But when it comes to my gastric bypass, I feel so much more private about it because I’m not anyone who would ever acknowledge my weight in any way. I just don’t feel comfortable with comments about my appearance at all, so I’m dreading people making comments of any kind, even that they think are positive. I’ve even told my husband to tell my MIL that I got it and to not make ANY comments about my weight in general or how much I’ve lost, no matter how complimentary she thinks they are. This is mainly because I was at a fit weight for most of my life, so she wasn’t shy about constantly commenting on my weight as it crept up (under the guise of concern, of course ?) so her saying things like “it’s about time you stopped eating so much and lost weight!” is not out of the question. I’m just hoping the vague “working with a nutritionist and working out!” will keep the people who I’m not close to from asking any further questions. Maybe I can just be a shut in and avoid it altogether, lol.

My sister who had her surgery before me also used a similar "cover up" story for her WLS. She has a hernia also. We had our surgeries with the same doctor within three weeks and started losing weight around the same time. Luckily we don't live in the same country otherwise our extended family members would have noticed lol.

"working with a nutritionist and working out" is exactly what are you doing now, so stick to that. You won't be misleading people by telling them this. It worked for some people without the WLS (not for me tho). Good luck

6 hours ago, 3Jaysmom said:

… and say “….plus a hefty dose of Botox in my frown lines!” because I just feel weird about “taking credit” for something that’s not natural, or that what if they buy the same skincare stuff and expect the same results….

This made me chuckle. When my cosmetic physician was doing my derma needing RF session last month, she said ‘I’m not going to do your forehead because it looks so good.’ I said ‘that’s all the Dysport you put in it’. We both had a good laugh.

I tell people I have Dysport (Botox) too for much the same reasons. (Why did I wait until I was 56.) You can usually tell if someone has it anyway.

On 02/16/2023 at 19:08, Fred in Pa said:

Technically, they should not even be asking in a professional environment.

But, tell them an old gypsy touched your cheek and whispered “thinner”. Then walk away. That’s sure to get a laugh.

This made me laugh so hard, thanks for the giggle! ??

I've been very open about my surgery, mainly because I live in a very rural area where gossip reigns supreme. There are a few people I know who have had the surgery and didn't tell many people, so now rumor has it they lost weight on the 'meth diet'. I don't want that, or any other controversy so I'm just being an open book.

33 minutes ago, RaiderRhode said:

I've been very open about my surgery, mainly because I live in a very rural area where gossip reigns supreme. There are a few people I know who have had the surgery and didn't tell many people, so now rumor has it they lost weight on the 'meth diet'.

With WLS being around since a whole while now and more and more people getting it I'd guess people asking questions will suspect WLS anyway. It's not a niche procedure anymore. Most people know that these procedures exist.

A former colleague from another department lost a ton of weight after having been absent for maybe two or three weeks. People are suspecting WLS, even though they've not asked her directly.

People are no fools. Most of them won't believe that story about "lifestyle changes" and "healthy diet and exercise" while conveniently not mentioning the surgery anyway. The easiest way is to say "I had surgery". People who're interested in the whole thing might want to know what kind of surgery it was but usually that's the end of it.

I always made a joke of it, and would answer by saying "I stopped eating my feelings" or "I gave up food for lent" etc.

I ended up moving shortly after hitting goal, so it's kind of fun that none of my new friends, coworkers, etc, know that I used to be morbidly obese. It's my little secret! LOL!!

7 hours ago, RaiderRhode said:

I've been very open about my surgery, mainly because I live in a very rural area where gossip reigns supreme. There are a few people I know who have had the surgery and didn't tell many people, so now rumor has it they lost weight on the 'meth diet'. I don't want that, or any other controversy so I'm just being an open book.

I think you did the right thing in your situation lol. The last thing I want is someone spreading rumors that I'm a methhead ?

7 hours ago, summerset said:

With WLS being around since a whole while now and more and more people getting it I'd guess people asking questions will suspect WLS anyway. It's not a niche procedure anymore. Most people know that these procedures exist.

A former colleague from another department lost a ton of weight after having been absent for maybe two or three weeks. People are suspecting WLS, even though they've not asked her directly.

People are no fools. Most of them won't believe that story about "lifestyle changes" and "healthy diet and exercise" while conveniently not mentioning the surgery anyway. The easiest way is to say "I had surgery". People who're interested in the whole thing might want to know what kind of surgery it was but usually that's the end of it.

Most of the people I'm working with now have not seen me at my heaviest. Only two of three of them. The problem is when staff from HQ come for the monthly meetings / site visits. I try to keep a low profile during those day but still will get noticed lol.