Hello

About nine years ago I had the gastric sleeve and lost a bunch of weight.
I gained it all back.
Almost a year ago I had bypass surgery and have done very well. I’ve lost over 90 pounds and am less than 10 pounds away from my goal. I am taking it far more seriously this time and feel I will keep it off.
My problem is that when I look in the mirror I only see a person that weighs 250 pounds and feel like a fraud when I’m shopping for a size 12 in pants.

Am I the only one or have other people had struggles with this as well?
thanks

I think this is very common! I am almost 8 months out and I know in my head my body has changed drastically, but sometimes I have a very hard time seeing it. I have found that looking at pictures side by side helps, taking measurements helps, and comparing some of my old pants to current ones can help, too. Sometimes, when its really bad, TOUCHING my body can help. This is a well established therapeutic grounding technique, so it helps get me out of my own head, but it also just makes the change very visceral. My body FEELS different. And sometimes I just need to FEEL the changes with my own two hands for it to feel real. Like, I can wrap my fingers around my writs and doing that feels very concrete, which forces my brain to acknowledge the changes. Its hard sometimes for our brains to catch up, but hang in there! You will see it!

You are experiencing what is called body dysmorphia. Many people benefit from taking a current photo of themselves and putting it next to a pre op photo.

I have the same issues. I keep thinking when I put my size 10/12 clothes on that they're so small there's no way they will fit, but they do. I alternate between seeing myself as really a lot different and seeing myself as huge in the mirror. I still have a lot of fat in my tummy (and a lot of loose skin) so it's hard to imagine I am actually SMALLER than the average person now!

I have gone from wearing 6xl shirts to 2xl/3xl. Every time I go to put on a shirt, I think to myself, "There is no way this is going to fit." So every morning is a pleasant surprise when it does.

This is VERY common. If all I had to go on was the mirror (as opposed to people's comments or measurements or how my clothes fit), I would think I had only lost 20 pounds instead of 180 pounds.

Thank you guys. It is nice to know I’m not alone. I should use this site more it is so great.
There are so many real tangible changes I just hate I can’t see them even though I can do things now like cross my legs (in the girl style). Who would have thought that is actually comfortable. I take pictures of my seat belts when I go on planes because it is so exciting seeing extra belt rather than squeezing myself in it or trying to hide the fact I can’t quite buckle it. Oh and I can ride my bike without my legs bumping into my stomach reminding me I’ll fat with every pedal of the bike. Hopefully the view in the mirror will change in my head soon and I won’t feel like such a fraud when shopping in the regular section. I’m 50 years old and the last time I weighed this little (153.5) I was probably no older that 12. I gotta lot of head stuff to undo.
thank you again.

I suffer from body dysmorphia too. I'm under goal weight and still feel huge. Physically it does feel great. I don't feel tired walking long distances or going up stairs. Stretching and working out is so much easier, my comorbities are gone but my head is where the problem is. I still see myself as someone who needs to lose a lot of weight. I will stand next to someone who is heavier than me, and not see them as fat at all. It's all how I see myself.

I struggle with this too and you guys give some fantastic advice!
Is just like to add a website that’s been very helpful for me: modelmydiet.com
You can adjust an ‘avatar’ to kind of look like you at all sorts of weights and imho, it’s pretty accurate!!
I like to return to that every now and then to get some perspective ?