Struggling with head games

[Starflower 152]

So I think that I’m struggling with head games. I’m post VSG by a year and half. I feel like I’ve done phenomenal but when I saw my doc today she told me she didn’t want me to lose anymore weight. The entire time I haven’t had bread, Pasta, and rice. At first it was because of the diet recommendations my team suggested. I know that now I can have them in moderation but I still haven’t chosen to do so. I have made the choice not to add to my diet because I currently don’t miss them but I feel like once I start I will crave them and eat too much of it. I’m not sure how to get around my all or nothing mind set. Any recommendations on how to be ok with moderation?? Thanks in advance for your feedback!

[over65 133]

If your doctor doesn't want you to lose anymore weight, you need to listen to her advice. Your all or nothing thinking could suggest you have developed an unhealthy mindset about starch (bread, Pasta, rice). Complex carbohydrates are an important source of delayed energy. Simple carbs give you quick energy but complex carbs breakdown more slowly and will maintain energy longer. One approach is to limit your diet to whole grain bread, pasta and nonwhite rice. These contain important Vitamins and especially phytonutrients you can't get in a pill or other foods. If you are not crazy about whole grain carbs, that might help you with your fear that you might start eating too much. You have been phenomenal by losing all excess weight. I am confident you can approach starch in moderation.

Sent from my SM-T580 using BariatricPal mobile app

[Starflower 152]

Thank you for your response! I definitely do think that I have an unhealthy mindset when it comes to starch. I really want to work on it because I think that might be the only way to stop my weight loss. I generally eat a good variety of Protein, veggies and fruit. I am ok with potatoes and veggie carbs but for some reason I just put up a wall when it comes to the others I appreciate your suggestion of whole grain carbs. I will look into that for sure!

[catwoman7 10,922]

I've been in maintenance for a few years now and even though I eat those things occasionally now, I don't very often. In my mind, I still don't have nearly as much stomach real estate as normal people do, so I want to make sure the food I eat is nutritionally dense. A lot of starches aren't. Although I do eat small servings of whole-grain carbs occasionally.

[Suzi_the_Q 253]

Another way to do it is to give yourself a "cheat day." If you get in the mindset that you only have those things one day per week, you can hold out if you're craving it until that day. I'm that way, but not everyone is.

[PollyEster 228]

Losing 202lbs is well and truly beyond phenomenal, so congratulations and well done on all of your hard work! That's a remarkable result!

Refined bread, Pasta, grains, and rice are simple carbs, not complex carbs (unless you are talking about less highly processed items such as Mestemacher bread, chickpea pasta, sprouted brown rice or wild rice, etc. which I doubt you’d be concerned about), and of course they are unhealthy foods that lack nutrition, cause rapid spikes in insulin levels and consequently fat storage, and have been proven in thousands of peer-reviewed scientific studies to cause both physical (neurochemical) and psychological cravings. These refined foods have been stripped of all fibre and nutrients and don't contain any phytonutrients. Only whole, unprocessed foods such as fruits and vegetables, legumes, nuts, tea, and some spices, contain phytonutrients. Ancient whole grains don't contain phytonutrients, but they do contain beneficial phytochemicals.

If certain foods cause you to crave more simple carbs, why would you consider eating them again? Long ago you broke the cycle of carb addiction that keeps eaters of refined carbs and processed foods in the cycle of obesity, disease, feeling hungry soon after meals, and craving more refined carbs. Deciding not to eat something that that you know for a fact has never worked for you isn’t a sign of an unhealthy mindset, it's a sign of clear, insightful, empowered thinking and applied wise boundaries. You're right to be wary, since trying to control consumption of refined and highly palatable foods is generally about as successful over the long term as trying to control drug addiction without abstinence from drugs. WLS forums are full of people who have eventually regained all of most of their weight as a direct result of making poor food choices. Every single thing you put in your mouth is not only either making you more or less healthy, it is also influencing the next thing you put in your mouth by causing a cascade of complex responses along the gut/brain axis.

There are plenty of ways to enjoy and embrace the health benefits of whole complex carbs such as vegetables, fruits, and ancient grains in your diet. By focusing on whole foods and complex, unrefined carbs, you'll naturally reduce your intake of sugar and processed carbs, keep your blood sugar stable, maintain a healthy weight, and still enjoy incredibly satisfying meals and treats. You’ll not only feel healthier and more energetic, you'll keep yourself out of the unrelenting refined carb addiction cycle so many post-surgery people struggle with. Trust your own self-knowledge, and embrace and cultivate your own insights into yourself. Brené Brown, among others, has some excellent thoughts in this regard.

Edited June 24, 2020 by PollyEster

[Darktowerdream 419]

@Starflower

i am the same. I fought my carb and sugar addiction for so long and even that didn’t prove enough until I had gastric bypass surgery. So I am terrified of falling backwards. I was in hospital for surgery and they kept wanting to serve me carbs laden foods! I had a small bowl of oatmeal when I had no choice and it was the only soft food I could stomach. But for me I feel carbs fuel my metabolic disorders and the addiction as well. You need to listen to yourself. Nutrition doesn’t need to come from traditional carbs.

ive allowed myself a little low carb granola on my yogurt, a manzano banana, sometimes a pear. There’s ways to get nutrition and not lose more weight without adding carbs.

I can’t add much you got great answers but I do understand how you feel.

[rjan 163]

Ultimately, it's your body and your choice. Trust yourself!

Some people really are better off staying away from carbs entirely because they really are a gateway food for them, while others really are better off eating them in moderation because for them, it's easier to stick to flexible rules than absolutes.

Personally, I sort of go the cheat day route. During the week, I drink a lot of Protein Shakes and am pretty strict about my one "real" food meal. During weekends, I drink less Protein shakes and leave more room for real food. I cook elaborate meals with my husband, and eat more carbs (but still absolutely no sugar). For me, I know that some flexibility helps me stick to the rules over the long term.

[Arabesque 6,565]

Congrats on your weight loss. An amazing achievement.

I eat oatmeal often for Breakfast (at the moment it’s every day cause I’m over eggs) & did so through my weigh loss stage as it’s a good carb & was on my diet. (Mind you the couple of teaspoons I could eat wouldn’t had much of an impact.)

When I got to maintenance, my dietician recommended small amounts of whole/multi grain carbs. Crackers have been the easy choice for me as I didn’t want to go down the bread & Pasta route either. They’re good for carrying other foods like hummus, avocado, etc. & are an easy snack. And it’s nice to have a crunchy bite.

These few carbs have helped keep me regular (yippee) & have improved the skin on my face - not as gaunt looking anymore. They’ve helped me maintain & if I drop them I start losing weight again.

Amusingly, I bought a brown rice cracker during lockdown as my usual ones weren’t available - result was many smelly farts. Brown rice is now on my avoid at all costs list.

[Starflower 152]

Thank you all so much for your replies!! I really appreciate your help You have given me some insights that I hadn’t thought about so thank you so very much! I love that this board is such a wealth of knowledge and no one has to feel like they are doing this alone