I've always had a problem of looking in the mirror and seeing a fat chick no matter what my weight. Are y'all like that too? It's so frustrating now that we can't try clothes on and I always buy them too big and have to return them.

Is there anything you can do to see yourself the way you truly are? Thanks!

Take pictures! Find an old pic of a bigger you and put it right beside a pic of a smaller you today.

Its hard to ignore when the evidence is side by side ❤️

Nope... I think the transformation on the inside is much harder than the one that occurs on the outside.

It depends. Some days I feel just, well... fat. Usually looking in the mirror helps this feeling.

However, on some days I see myself as "too fat" or rather "not thin enough". Like hips are too wide in comparison to shoulders... Thighs and upper arms are just FAT... When I have these days it can help seeing my reflection in comparison to other people, e. g. in a glass door or window. It's easier to see yourself the size you are when you stand next to other people.

6 hours ago, JRT Mom said:

Are y'all like that too? It's so frustrating now that we can't try clothes on and I always buy them too big and have to return them.

Yes, I also have this issue. I think a lot of WLS patients go through this. As mentioned by a previous person, I like to take pictures throughout my journey and create side by side with them to prove to myself that I am in fact smaller. This is one of my best suggestions. I also recommend measuring yourself (hips, thighs, arms, waist, ect) to see the difference in measurements. Sometimes when I look at down at my thighs, it seems like they are still the same but when I look in the mirror, I can see they are smaller.

I too am very disappointed that I cannot try on clothes in the store at this time. I wanted to buy a few things for my birthday since I have not bought any new clothes since surgery (most of my stuff is too big). However, most places are not accepting returns in my area, so I didn't want to be stuck with something.

I don't think I'll ever be 'thin' as my family has athletic builds and tend to be on the curvier side. I always told myself my goal was to be at LEAST a size 14 in pants... a 12, if I'm super lucky. I'm in a 20 right now. And yes, I do still feel fat and because of that I do end up buying bigger sizes. I went shopping the other day and bought a bunch of new shirts and when I tried them on at home they were all too big! And I bought 2xl's!

...its funny because when I was bigger, I thought I was smaller than I really was. Now that I’m smaller, I think I am bigger than I really am....

2 hours ago, NovaLuna said:

I tried them on at home they were all too big!

Congratulations, that is wonderful

48 minutes ago, ms.sss said:

...its funny because when I was bigger, I thought I was smaller than I really was. Now that I’m smaller, I think I am bigger than I really am....

Same here. it is pretty ironic

I read this and kinda laughed at myself. I haven’t had the WLS yet, but I’m already noticing a boost of confidence and seeing myself thinner. Not crazy, I think I’m skinny, but I’m already identifying with a healthier body. Maybe because I’ve always fluctuated weight, I know what I look like under this weight gain. I feel very relaxed and ready to be the me I see in my head :)

What ms.sss said. From what I've read, it's pretty common for body dysmorphia to reverse after bariatric surgery. When I gained 110 lbs in 2 years and went from being average weight to morbidly obese, I went through the exact same thing. No matter what women look like, we tend to judge ourselves critically ?

New outfits—particularly in colours and silhouettes I never would/could have worn when I was MO—definitely are helping me accept and learn to appreciate what I see in the mirror now. But I still purchase everything (online) in duplicate: 8's plus one larger size, usually a 12, "just in case" the 8's are suddenly somehow too small ?

42 minutes ago, PollyEster said:

But I still purchase everything (online) in duplicate: 8's plus one larger size, usually a 12, "just in case" the 8's are suddenly somehow too small ?

At 5'2" and 129 lbs, I would think you would be positively SWIMMING in a size 8 (let alone size 12!). We are the same height and I think when I was 130 lbs, size 8's would have been falling off...buy smaller sizes, girl!

1 hour ago, ms.sss said:

At 5'2" and 129 lbs, I would think you would be positively SWIMMING in a size 8 (let alone size 12!). We are the same height and I think when I was 130 lbs, size 8's would have been falling off...buy smaller sizes, girl!

? There's definitely a major MC Hammer pants vibe going on in the 8's and belts are a must, but I continue to lose way (and I mean waaaaaaaaaay ?) faster than I ever thought I would or could, so now I'm waiting until maintenance before throwing away more $$ on clothes. Unlike you (you look long and lithe in your photos) I do have an extremely muscular, solid physique, though. I'm not sure where I'll end up size-wise. What size tops and pants do you wear currently?

Edited to add that I was wearing size 24 pants barely more than a year ago and never seemed to fully clue in to how, um... *vast* they were, and now size 6 and 8 pants somehow look like 4 person *tents* to me!

Edited again to add that the size 8's were purchased just over a month ago, when I was about 10-12lbs heavier, and were already pretty lose at that time... but I kept them because they were still a better fit than anything else in my closet, and stores were still closed.

Edited June 17, 20206 yr by PollyEster

Congrats on your weight loss @JRTMom.

I think we’re all guilty of still having moments of misjudging our size. I too didn’t think I was as big as I was before my surgery. I even thought photos taken then were just very unflattering and not a true reflection of my size.

The same still happens now at times. Earlier this year I was at a swanky spa when three ‘beautiful young things’ came in and I suddenly felt embarrassed by my size. In that moment I thought I was still obese. In reality I was actually thinner than those girls. Then last week I looked down at my thighs & thought gee they’re so flabby. Absolutely crazy thinking both times but your head can twist things up bad.

Get out a pair of your old fat pants (if you kept a pair) & compare them with a pair of your skinny ones. There’s nothing as confirming as physically seeing the many, many inches difference between the sizes. The other day I put on a US size 8 skirt I used to wear years ago when I was last slim & it literally fell right off me. Pooled at my feet. Inches too big. Very reassuring.

4 hours ago, PollyEster said:

? There's definitely a major MC Hammer pants vibe going on in the 8's

?????? MC Hammer. Classic. ?

4 hours ago, PollyEster said:

What size tops and pants do you wear currently?

Edited to add that I was wearing size 24 pants barely more than a year ago and never seemed to fully clue in to how, um... *vast* they were,

I was up to a 20 in pants (44” waist), now I can do size 0-2 (25” wst). Though...as we speak, I am wearing my kid’s hand-me-down sweatpants, which is a child’s size large (13-14), hahaha

In tops, I was a 2XL (48” bust), and now Im an XXS-XS (33” bust. R.I.P. boobs ?).

Edited to add: I just checked my weight loss records (yeah, i have weight-loss records, don’t judge me! Lol), and when I was 130 lbs, my waist was 27”, so that would have been about a size 4. So yeah, size 8 would’ve been waaaaaay too big.

Edited June 17, 20206 yr by ms.sss

2 hours ago, Arabesque said:

Get out a pair of your old fat pants (if you kept a pair) & compare them with a pair of your skinny ones. There’s nothing as confirming as physically seeing the many, many inches difference between the sizes.

+1

❤️❤️❤️

1 hour ago, ms.sss said:

I was up to a 20 in pants (44” waist), now I can do size 0-2 (25” wst). Though...as we speak, I am wearing my kid’s hand-me-down sweatpants, which is a child’s size large (13-14), hahaha

Thanks! I exercise upwards of 25 hours per week (including training for eventual triathlon and distance cycling events), and am also fairly into weight lifting, so not sure it's realistic—or even desirable—for me to wear less than size 5-6. I have a feeling I'd look positively skeletal if I did. I also can't imagine that I'll ever return to the size I was when I graduated from high school (at 113lbs), but suppose the possibility can't be ruled out at this point. My motivation has never been to be thin, but health, strength, fitness, and well-being are very important to me.

You look absolutely fantastic, ms.sss, and I hope you feel as good as you look. Your journey has been (and continues to be) an inspiration to me on this forum, particularly when I was pre-surgery and found your blog entries. So thank you for those, and congratulations on such a mighty transformation and on all of your hard work! ?

1 hour ago, ms.sss said:

(yeah, i have weight-loss records, don’t judge me!)

I'm judging you alright, but in an admiring way! I keep meticulous records, too. It's just my nature, and something that serves me well (in most - but not all - contexts ?).

Edited June 17, 20206 yr by PollyEster