Back in 2012, I got gastric sleeve surgery. Over the course of a year, I lost about 100 pounds. Then I plateaued. Then I slowly started gaining weight back. Recently, my weight has gone back up to what it was on the day of my surgery. ?

Absolutely. Basically, I've already gone to the absolute "LAST RESORT" of weight loss surgery and it feels like I have failed. FAILED. Where does that leave me? Where do I go from here?

I'm getting therapy because it's gotten me so sad, but it's really really difficult. No one understands how bad this feels. It feels different to other times when I have lost weight and regained. I haven't regained every pound I lost, but I still feel like such a failure.

Glad you re in therapy. It is difficult. Hope you gain perspective and feel better soon.

33 minutes ago, LaLaDee said:

Absolutely. Basically, I've already gone to the absolute "LAST RESORT" of weight loss surgery and it feels like I have failed. FAILED.

So far you're maintaining an excess weight loss of 100 lbs two years out of surgery (if I read one of your previous posts correctly). In the eyes of a WLS surgeon that makes you still a success.

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Where does that leave me? Where do I go from here?

Wherever you'll go: don't take the road to self-hate and "feeling like a failure".

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No one understands how bad this feels.

Believe me. A lot of people on here do understand. They might not post much or at all, most of them are not even on here but they are out there. No one can question that who've looked at the many papers dealing with long term success rates.

Many patients regain weight, some lose it again, some not. I had a temporary regain years ago when I stopped smoking and then again when my band had to be unfilled because of worsening reflux/GERD.

It does feel horrible but "feeling like a failure" gets you nowhere. On the contrary, extra self-care and self-compassion seems to work way better than scolding yourself. And even if it doesn't - at least it feels better.

37 minutes ago, summerset said:

So far you're maintaining an excess weight loss of 100 lbs two years out of surgery (if I read one of your previous posts correctly). In the eyes of a WLS surgeon that makes you still a success.

Wherever you'll go: don't take the road to self-hate and "feeling like a failure".

Believe me. A lot of people on here do understand. They might not post much or at all, most of them are not even on here but they are out there. No one can question that who've looked at the many papers dealing with long term success rates.

Many patients regain weight, some lose it again, some not. I had a temporary regain years ago when I stopped smoking and then again when my band had to be unfilled because of worsening reflux/GERD.

It does feel horrible but "feeling like a failure" gets you nowhere. On the contrary, extra self-care and self-compassion seems to work way better than scolding yourself. And even if it doesn't - at least it feels better.

Thanks @summerset You are very kind. I'm also impressed that you had two regains and kept fighting on. And you made a point that I need to keep in mind - I've still maintained a weight loss of 105lbs/nearly 50kg. The regain definitely could be worse. And it will get a lot worse if I don't change my mindset and habits soon.

11 minutes ago, LaLaDee said:

Thanks @summerset You are very kind. I'm also impressed that you had two regains and kept fighting on.

The interesting thing is that it didn't feel like much of a struggle. Sure, quitting smoking was a pain in the a**. And so was the regain. I lost the regain when I discovered that intuitive eating is a thing one can do after WLS. So the weight came off quite easily and I didn't restart smoking so far. All of that is long ago. About 17 years or so.

To lose the second regain was also not much of a hassle eating wise because the MGB took care of it. The year between the unfill and making up my mind to really get a revision was a pain in the a** as well though. I was scared as hell and postponed for almost a year.

I'm facing another revision now and I won't wait a whole year this time. It's been about three months now that surgeons recommended it (hiatoplastic, gastropexia and revision of the anastomosis) and I've finally made up my mind and hope I can schedule surgery at the end of February or begin of March.

@summerset All the best with your next surgery. I like your attitude - just getting on with it!

Big decisions Each step or phase is a chance to reset celebrate and or adjust care. You both have great insights.

On 01/12/2020 at 04:20, LaLaDee said:

Absolutely. Basically, I've already gone to the absolute "LAST RESORT" of weight loss surgery and it feels like I have failed. FAILED. Where does that leave me? Where do I go from here?

I'm getting therapy because it's gotten me so sad, but it's really really difficult. No one understands how bad this feels. It feels different to other times when I have lost weight and regained. I haven't regained every pound I lost, but I still feel like such a failure.

You’re NOT a failure. We are all a work in progress. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and take it Day by day. You have done this before and CAN do it again

Thanks @Kris77 You guys are so supportive! Taking it day by day is so important. I need to focus on doing my best today and not all the other noise in my head.

I have extra guilt about my weight gain because my mother paid for my surgery.

Did you change your eating habits? The sleeve lessens what you eat but you still have to eat healthier for it to work long term.

5 hours ago, jenta2005 said:

Did you change your eating habits? The sleeve lessens what you eat but you still have to eat healthier for it to work long term.

I did not.

This is my biggest fear, starting to rethink it now. I am so sorry this is happening to you! I only have 1 month left to go until surgery. ???

I am with Catwoman7 on a food and exercise logs. Two years before my surgery My daughter asked what I wanted for Christmas and I told her a Fitbit. It is the best gift she ever gave me. I started logging my food and exercise faithfully. As a result in the two years before my surgery, I lost 35 pounds. Not meteoric but slow and steady. I had my surgery on 8/21/19 and continued to use my Fitbit app faithfully and have lost an additional 68 pounds. The pounds come off much more slowly and I had a nearly two week stall and was terrified that 101 pounds was all I was going to lose but by now (3 years) exercise is just a routine and concentrate on when I start to feel full.
I used to have a terrible habit of drinking Coca Cola but thank goodness I have lost all taste for it. One night I took a sip of my hubby’s and nearly gagged because it was so sweet.
Psychologically I am using the same mindset I used to quit smoking that what I do is for my health.

23 hours ago, NewYorkButterfly said:

This is my biggest fear, starting to rethink it now. I am so sorry this is happening to you! I only have 1 month left to go until surgery. ???

I am not trying to discourage anyone. If you want to do the surgery, just don't make the types of bad choices that I did. I thought of the sleeve as an alternative to watching what I eat. I lost weight that way for a year, only eating as much as the sleeve allowed me to eat. But I should have purposefully changed my eating habits from the beginning - and I should have when I stopped losing weight - and I should have when I started gaining weight.