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The Disease to Please: or how I lack the ability to say 'No'



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Anyone else a sufferer?

Is there a cure??

My daughter's nail tech asked me months ago to make her two formals for December weddings. I said "Yes.", thinking she would bring me a pattern and fabric. Instead I get a photo out of a magazine of a designer dress!

I've put it off til the last minute and am avoiding working on the first one like crazy -- (Anyone notice how much I've been posting the last couple of days?) -- haven't even THOUGHT about the second one.

Now I'm considering doing something I've never done in over 25 years of sewing -- I'm going to add in an UPCHARGE for having to come up with a pattern and track down the fabric myself! Is that reasonable? I mean any other 'custom' job you do, there are premiums you pay for. I only quoted her a BASE PRICE anyhow.

My husband says I'm just bitter because I realize she charges more for two mani-pedi's that take her a couple of hours than I quoted her for a dress I've spent weeks avoiding, days researching and hours just getting set up!

Will someone KICK me next time I take on a custon job? I've quit it more times than I can count!!!!!

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Anyone else a sufferer?

Is there a cure??

My daughter's nail tech asked me months ago to make her two formals for December weddings. I said "Yes.", thinking she would bring me a pattern and fabric. Instead I get a photo out of a magazine of a designer dress!

I've put it off til the last minute and am avoiding working on the first one like crazy -- (Anyone notice how much I've been posting the last couple of days?) -- haven't even THOUGHT about the second one.

Now I'm considering doing something I've never done in over 25 years of sewing -- I'm going to add in an UPCHARGE for having to come up with a pattern and track down the fabric myself! Is that reasonable? I mean any other 'custom' job you do, there are premiums you pay for. I only quoted her a BASE PRICE anyhow.

My husband says I'm just bitter because I realize she charges more for two mani-pedi's that take her a couple of hours than I quoted her for a dress I've spent weeks avoiding, days researching and hours just getting set up!

Will someone KICK me next time I take on a custon job? I've quit it more times than I can count!!!!!

What is it with nail techs wanting the extreme! I think you have a right to charge more since she only brought you a picture and nothing else. I think she should have at least asked if you wanted her to get the fabric, or offered to go with you and drive...Gas is too high to keep going from store to store searching for frabic...

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HELL YESS!!! charge her for more. You did twice the work... you told her what you wanted, and she didnt give that to you. I have the same disease too, i got out of my way alllll of the time for people, in this case i think that you deserve some compensastion.

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Yep, you should charge her for all the work you have done. Present her with an itemized bill.

And, by the way, even Mean Green has difficulties with saying the No-word. It took me years to learn how and even now I run into the occasional problem with it.

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You may wish to phone her in order to warn her that there will be surcharges for your research: the time spent researching 1) the pattern 2) the fabrics and 3) the fuel you have consumed in doing these tasks.

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yes call her and tell her that there will be additional charges and tell her what they most likely will be. Or at least what you will be service you will be charging her for, since she didn't provide a pattern or fabric. And make sure you record your gas milage and hours spent searching for the materials along with the materials.

And if this is a common problem with your customers maybe make up a contract up of sorts explaining what the customer is responsible for providing and explaining if they dont provide the needed materials you will have to charge for milage and time spent shopping.

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hell yeah i would upcharge!

but i agree - give her a call and tell her since you are custom making everything and you had to pick the fabric up, etc there will be an upcharge and this is how much it will be.

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And if this is a common problem with your customers maybe make up a contract up of sorts explaining what the customer is responsible for providing and explaining if they dont provide the needed materials you will have to charge for milage and time spent shopping.

I'd prefer to just STOP taking custom jobs PERIOD!!

I want to make WHAT I want, in the size I want, out of the fabric I want and then sell it online. If no one purchases it, then I'll donate it somewhere!!

I'm tired of having other people dictate what my handiwork is worth!:tired

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Very understandable. And would be more stress free also should be less time consuming.

With the wonderfull additions of sites like ebay and other sites like that. You can sell just about anything.

A couple of places I buy from the most have both websites and ebay sales. But normally the ebay stuff is the limited edition kind of things but sometimes you can get em for really low prices. And they rarely have the same things on both sites.

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I agree with the advice you have been given. I would call her and tell her with the added costs of locating the fabric and designing the pattern the first dress was considerably higher in cost than you expected, and tell her how much, and that you were calling to make sure with those added costs---that she still wanted you to do the 2nd dress.

Either she says yes, and you make the extra money, or she says no---and you are off the hook on dress #2!

I too suffer from the disease!!!

Good Luck!

Kat

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I say upcharge and do it for all of us who have the cant say no syndrome. I too have it and grrrrrrrr. Some people choose to forget you even exist until they need something. Even many of my own family. I too sew and I am a cosmetolegist. So even at holidays sometimes people just need a little altering or a small haircut. shoooot. But of course inside im thinking yea of course you do I knew you would. but on the outside it just comes out ,( Sure I will, I dont mind)

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I do not think you should charge her more , unless you told her you would before you made the dresses. When she sent just the picture thats when i would have told her that without a pattern and material it would be extra. That way no surprises for anyone. Donna

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