I'm 1 year 2 months post op and have lost 115lbs which is awesome. I have more energy and can do more things with my daughter, I'm in clothing sizes I have never worn! I should be the happiest I've ever been, but I have a mindset I feel is holding me back. This may seem ungrateful, but I'm ANGRY I'm treated differently now that I've lost weight. It's like I was invisible (or worse- gross) when I weighed 286 but now people notice me just because of what I look like and it PISSES ME OFF.I was all the things that make me ME before I lost weight and now it's like a revelation that I'm worthwhile somehow. All of this positive feedback would have been awesome when my self-esteem was in the toilet from being depressed and overweight.

-My husband wants to tell me I look cute and wants to have more sex - and my 1st thought is why didn't you do this before?

-People who wouldn't give me the time of day at work tell me my ideas are great - and I think, they were good before, why didn't you speak up then?

-My family tells me nice things about myself and my clothes - I cant stop thinking about how I could have used this support BEFORE.

Has this happened to anyone else? What do I do to move past this? Should I see a therapist? I don't want to be ungrateful...

When I lost weight before I was down to a 18 and I looked really good ! People were complicating me and I felt good !! My now ex husband never made a comment or statement ? This is my 3rd time going for the surgery ! I think the first 2 were because every dr said I needed it ! I have Epilepsy with uncontrollable seizures and the last 2 times my seizures stopped my surgery! This time I want it for me and for making me happy and healthy!! The sad thing is yes I’m really fat and people are judging me from that ! If I was skinny I would be noticed more ! Society is not fair but life only happens once and I had a crappy 25 years and I want the next chapter to be wonderful!!!!

You know what I though was crazy, when I did my mental evaluation, the lady says:

" you will get more interviews, and your sex life with increase"

I thought that was just crazy. Why would you say that? And no I'm not getting interviews left and right, even though I have an incredible amount of experience. It's been hard to find a job over the last 3 months- I was let go when I went out for bypass conversion. Out of no where. Over 270 applications, maybe 15-20 interview. 3 offers. I have an interview Thursday and I'm praying it happens, I'm dying to get back in a clinical setting .

6 hours ago, Mj77803 said:

" you will get more interviews, and your sex life with increase"

This sex life thing didn't happen to me as well, lol.

On 6/7/2019 at 9:29 PM, Jonsie27 said:

I'm 1 year 2 months post op and have lost 115lbs which is awesome. I have more energy and can do more things with my daughter, I'm in clothing sizes I have never worn! I should be the happiest I've ever been, but I have a mindset I feel is holding me back. This may seem ungrateful, but I'm ANGRY I'm treated differently now that I've lost weight. It's like I was invisible (or worse- gross) when I weighed 286 but now people notice me just because of what I look like and it PISSES ME OFF.I was all the things that make me ME before I lost weight and now it's like a revelation that I'm worthwhile somehow. All of this positive feedback would have been awesome when my self-esteem was in the toilet from being depressed and overweight.

-My husband wants to tell me I look cute and wants to have more sex - and my 1st thought is why didn't you do this before?

-People who wouldn't give me the time of day at work tell me my ideas are great - and I think, they were good before, why didn't you speak up then?

-My family tells me nice things about myself and my clothes - I cant stop thinking about how I could have used this support BEFORE.

Has this happened to anyone else? What do I do to move past this? Should I see a therapist? I don't want to be ungrateful...

Great post and i get where you are coming from. I haven't had surgery yet and I am experiencing all the things you say about happened to you pre-op. Girl, that is me and I am pre-op. I have been job hunting for a year and still haven't gotten an offer. My ideas get overlooked at work but yet I get glowing EOY reviews. I say stay strong and yes therapy. I am seeing a therapist now talking about how I get treated now as a larger person that when I was a size 12. So frustrating!

1 hour ago, Chardonnay40 said:

Great post and i get where you are coming from. I haven't had surgery yet and I am experiencing all the things you say about happened to you pre-op. Girl, that is me and I am pre-op. I have been job hunting for a year and still haven't gotten an offer. My ideas get overlooked at work but yet I get glowing EOY reviews. I say stay strong and yes therapy. I am seeing a therapist now talking about how I get treated now as a larger person that when I was a size 12. So frustrating!

I have the same issues with getting interviews and I'm almost 2 years post sleeve and 100lbs lighter. It's crazy. I have 2 interviews tomorrow so I guess I'll see how that goes.