I have seen some posts about how the relationship with food changes after surgery. Some have even referred to it as a grieving process. What are some changes I might expect after surgery in reference to my relationship with food? How might this affect me emotionally? What was your experience? I want to be as prepared as possible, thank you

Impossible to predict. We're all so different and each of us have a different relationship and level of attachment to the food. Each of us have different mental preparations for this surgery.

You really need to just start looking at how you view food. Start down-regulating its importance in your life. Start eating whole foods--lose the CRAP, detox off caffeine, get off sugar and all white stuff. Go low carb or keto now if you can. What you do now, will ultimately make life in the 2 week pre-op liquid diet and life in the 2-6 weeks post surgery so much easier for you.

I was personally so ready for this surgery, mentally, emotionally, and I welcomed the changes with a hopeful and positive attitude. I have had very little grieving. I did have periodic episodes of unexplainable sadness and depression that would last anywhere from 1 hour to a day or two. These are a normal part of gut surgery, anesthesia, and liberation of hormones from fat burning. You learn to deep breath, exercise and get moving, get out in the sun, watch comedies, commune with your family and friends and to talk it through.

Honestly, you will eventually be able to eat all the things post surgery that you eat now. The bigger question is, why would you want to keep doing the same things post surgery that got you the lifetime invitation to the Obesity Ball in the first place? That's lunacy. Albert Einstein said, "Doing the same things and expecting a different outcome is the definition of insanity."

All things in small portions is a big fat forking lie invented and perpetrated by skinny doctors and nutritionists who have NEVER been obese. Once you are overweight or obese, a totally different set of rules apply--for life.

Edited May 31, 20197 yr by FluffyChix

Well before surgery It was Food, Food, got to find my food, got to eat quick before someone else finds it and takes it away! I am an "only,child" but I acted like I hadv6 starving little brothers. Could eat an entire Family-sized bag of Lays Barbeque Chips at one sitting, watching TV, and not even feel like I had eaten.
Now, if I feel hungry and that seldom happens, I heat,up,a 1/4 cup,of something, maybe I finish it, but usually don't. Very cautious what I eat, had too much emesis time. I still rely,on soups , broths, protein shakes, stir protein powder, beneficent or Miralax into everything I can for enrichment, Precious pouch, my bossy co-pilot,,, now through. my life, does not trust,protein sources, refuses to consider,meat, cottage cheese, Greek Yogurt, although,i,may try that again, been a month since last attempt. And what she doesn't care for just spews forth. And I dont,vomit like I did when I was "intact", now it sounds more like a cat with a large hairball. Some people say, that their full signal is hiccups, not me, for me it's Emesis coming within 15-20 minutes. Often you can find me curled into a semi-fetal ball over a wastebasket or Washburn. The blessing, if there is one? Good stays down such a short time, it is undigested and has no objectionable odor. Oh,i do manage to,ingest my vitamins, minerals and Zofran still,drink,out of my 2 ounce cuppies, a couple times when I tried to free-style with a normal juice glass? Up she comes because even fluid can choke me . And I was not a habitual vomiter prior to surgery, oh,if I bent at the waist, I could reflexively urp up but I thought my cardiac valve between my esophagus and stomach was weak from GERD. v So I am praying my blood vitamin levels are good, haven't been checked since late Feb/early March, had to,have an Iron INFUSION then. Should be about due for a repeat, but,nobody has ordered one, not my,PCP , not my Bariatric clinic, if the last N.P . is any indication, they are not overly worried or caring for me. Now I had always had an excellent relationship but the last time I spoke to one, she accused me of being a malingerer or Munchausen syndrome, I called only because I had been sick for 18 hours, having trouble even keeping fluids down. And my personality is not bulimic or even similar. Not scheduled for a clinic visit until August, having feeling this person just don't care. Meanwhile I am still losing 3-5 pounds a week,rare for 9 months out, but I guess I can accept,it.
Do I grieve food? Not a bit, few times I come close, I just say That Was A Past Life, nothing significant now!.
But perhaps I am an outlier, an exception to the Average person. I don't read the threads with pictures of "Look What I Just made and Ate", part of me,just can't relate to,it, the rest a little jealous that they can handle all that!
My emotions were pretty settled, resigned to That's the Way,its got to be. Even close to happy, until that little bundle of Nurse-flesh unloaded on me, oh I do remember her name, if she crosses my,path in August, she will regret it, it will be Her Turn to Cry! I might try to forgive, but I do not forget and I am a natural red-head, and the Celtic were warriors, something she may not have taken,into account! But anything I can help with, I will be honored to do so.

Eating is different after surgery. You can eat only such small portions (1/2 cup) and you find yourself steering away from anything that isn't protein.

I can say that now almost 6 months post-op my relationship with food is very different. I no longer crave or want cookies and sweets like I used to pre-surgery. I wouldn't dare sit down and eat a bag full now. I haven't even had one. I'm not hungry in my stomach although sometimes I get the head hunger that I have to deal with. I find myself choosing healthier food options and have no desire for french fries, pizza, and fast food.

I'm a more conscientious eater now.

3 minutes ago, GradyCat said:

Eating is different after surgery. You can eat only such small portions (1/2 cup) and you find yourself steering away from anything that isn't Protein.

I can say that now almost 6 months post-op my relationship with food is very different. I no longer crave or want Cookies and sweets like I used to pre-surgery. I wouldn't dare sit down and eat a bag full now. I haven't even had one. I'm not hungry in my stomach although sometimes I get the head hunger that I have to deal with. I find myself choosing healthier food options and have no desire for french fries, pizza, and fast food.

I'm a more conscientious eater now.

You are very focused and committed. This is not an ordinary experience hon. SOME people can only eat small portions--others can eat more.

4 hours ago, AllieCat1993 said:

I have seen some posts about how the relationship with food changes after surgery. Some have even referred to it as a grieving process. What are some changes I might expect after surgery in reference to my relationship with food? How might this affect me emotionally? What was your experience? I want to be as prepared as possible, thank you 

You will have to change your relationship with food. For me, It was one of the best gifts from my surgery. I had to change my stress/emotional eating. I would eat to cope and then gain more weight. I now have better ways of coping. We all have our stuff to work through in life – Never stop growing and learning.

A good place to start looking at the head work of weight loss surgery – Link below.

https://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/425354-the-importance-of-doing-the-head-work/?page=3&tab=comments#comment-4781549

Honestly, I don’t grieve my old bad food habits. Nothing feels or tastes as good as having my health and life back.

Food is still flavorful. I make healthy versions of my old favorites. Healthy pizza and chicken fajitas. Here a site to give you an idea of what your food world can look like after you get to real food stage. (make sure they fit your food plan)

pinterest bariatric food

https://www.njbariatriccenter.com/healthy-or-not-cauliflower-pizza-crusts/

https://www.bariatriccookery.com/recipes-2/

https://www.bariatriccookery.com/category/recipes/green_bariatric_recipes/

4 hours ago, AllieCat1993 said:

What are some changes I might expect after surgery in reference to my relationship with food? How might this affect me emotionally? What was your experience? I want to be as prepared as possible

This is a highly individual process and I don't believe that anyone can really be "prepared" for post-op life/eating. There is no realistic simulation of post-op eating after all. Imagine you've read every book about swimming and learning how to swim and about correct swimming technique in the world - this doesn't really prepare you for the moment someone throws you into cold water.

I never felt some kind of "grieving period" or something like this, at least not consciously.

I also didn't feel like I've "lost my best friend". If I'd have to express it in terms of relationship maybe "ceasefire with my worst enemy" feels closest. So dependent on how you feel/think about food now you might feel angry, you might feel sad or you might feel relief or something entirely different.

No one can say how this might affect you emotionally as people cope in very different ways with their feelings. In terms of eating after surgery: some start eating more and gain (take a look at the infamous "having fallen off the wagon because life happened" posts), some lose appetite and lose more weight during difficult times and I don't think you will ever know to what group you will belong before you're really going through the experience.

Like all the previous post say its very individual. I had no attachment to food for comfort so I didn't grieve. I happily made substitutions.

5 hours ago, AllieCat1993 said:

I have seen some posts about how the relationship with food changes after surgery. Some have even referred to it as a grieving process. What are some changes I might expect after surgery in reference to my relationship with food? How might this affect me emotionally? What was your experience? I want to be as prepared as possible, thank you

Bariatric 101

https://www.obesitycoverage.com/the-complete-patients-guide-to-bariatric-surgery/

Thank you everyone for your feedback, it really helps I appreciate the insight, advice, and links to what can help.