Getting closer to a decision

[Zemi 72]

Hi,

For years now i've been sure that weight loss surgery wasn't my answer ... and yet, here I am, starting to seriously consider it and wanting to learn more to help with making the decision. I've met with a surgeon and he has suggested both the gastric sleeve and bypass are options; and explained that I would lose a bit more with the bypass which he would usually recommend at my weight (although not necessarily) ... so now this is another decision to make as far as which way to go before i see him again. For me, I know that while the food and exercise aspect of weight gain and loss have been a very unhealthy relationship for the last 40 years (mid-40's now) it's my thinking that has been the main impact on this journey and subsequent weight loss sabotage. I've always struggled with using food as a coping tool for most things; from dealing with emotions, to distractions, to trying to cope with the impacts of various traumatic experiences. Now after a life time of morbid obesity, my body clings to the weight when I do start losing and I regain so fast it seems like I just blink (although i know it's more than this really). Increasing health issues, and a desire to live a healthier more active and fulfilling life have led me to where i am now .... as well as an increasing number of medical professionals saying that while i might lose the weight without surgery they think it's unlikely I would keep it off.

Some of the things that are impacting my decision are I guess the usual questions of what it would be like to not have food to turn to in the same way; wondering how to replace food with other alternatives for coping and wondering how it will impact my life when until now eating has been such a big part of it. Right now, i'm taking some time to focus on working on finding other coping tools aspect of things so that if i go forward I give myself the best chance of success possible. As part of that I'm working with a therapist, reading what i can find that might be helpful and open to other suggestions. I know that for this to work, I need to work on the mental side of things ..... and that in turn will help with being able to do the rest.

I'm also in the position of not really having much support to make this journey; so another reason finding online support and people to talk this through with is really important because I keep seeing how it is so much better to do this with the support of others. Currently i'm leaning towards the sleeve, and as well as working on the mental side of things trying to work out whether it would be good to spend some time losing weight prior to surgery or not; the dietician seemed to think that if i did that i might get discouraged and not have the incentive following surgery that i'd need ....... and that if i was going to lose it, i would have already. I'd be interested hearing how others have gone forward with this as far as losing weight prior to surgery (apart from the two weeks prior) or not ....

As well as any other suggestions or information; and I think just knowing that there are others going through similar things will help

Very glad to have found this site and look forward to taking part

I think my current head space is a mixture of being terrified and hopeful all wrapped in one!

[catwoman7 11,284]

I lost 57 lbs between my insurance-required six-month supervised diet and the two-week "liver shrinking" liquid diet that my surgeon required before surgery. I'm glad I did. The six-month diet, especially, was a good way to gradually transition me to the post-op way of eating (by gradually increasing Protein, decreasing carbs, weaning me from caffeine and carbonated beverages, lowering my calories) so that it wasn't such a shock after I'd had surgery. Plus it put me that much ahead of the game once I'd had surgery.

[GradyCat 3,697]

I too was worried about whether or not to have the surgery because I don't have a "hunger" problem but rather an emotional problem of eating when I'm upset. Plus I rarely ate food anyway, mostly just Cookies and chocolate. But now after 4.5 months post-sleeve I can say that the surgery helped with those issues as well. I've learned to listen to my stomach and stop eating when it's full. I haven't done any emotional eating. I've lost 49 pounds.

[Orchids&Dragons 9,047]

2 hours ago, Zemi said:

Some of the things that are impacting my decision are I guess the usual questions of what it would be like to not have food to turn to in the same way; wondering how to replace food with other alternatives for coping and wondering how it will impact my life when until now eating has been such a big part of it. Right now, i'm taking some time to focus on working on finding other coping tools aspect of things so that if i go forward I give myself the best chance of success possible. As part of that I'm working with a therapist, reading what i can find that might be helpful and open to other suggestions. I know that for this to work, I need to work on the mental side of things ..... and that in turn will help with being able to do the rest.

I think you're handling this correctly. None of the weight-loss tools work long-term if your head isn't in the game. Some don't even work short-term. Too many people find out that they can continue to sabotage themselves if they don't get their bad behaviors under control. For every wls, there is a way to "cheat" it.

2 hours ago, Zemi said:

Currently i'm leaning towards the sleeve, and as well as working on the mental side of things trying to work out whether it would be good to spend some time losing weight prior to surgery or not; the dietician seemed to think that if i did that i might get discouraged and not have the incentive following surgery that i'd need ....... and that if i was going to lose it, i would have already. I'd be interested hearing how others have gone forward with this as far as losing weight prior to surgery (apart from the two weeks prior) or not ....

If you have lost weight, multiple times, over the past 40 years and then regained, I think you've answered the dietician's question. If you can lose the weight you want, then sure, you probably don't need the surgery. Personally, I don't think anyone should do anything as drastic as have part of their insides removed if they haven't already tried to lose and maintain first. Life-changing surgeries should never be the first option tried, imo. But it doesn't sound like this is some flippant, casual decision. You've been mulling this over for a long time.

[Zemi 72]

@catwoman7 thanks for explaining some of the things you did pre-surgery and how they helped; and well done on your weight loss .... it's really helping reading a little of others experiences

@GradyCat congratulations on the weight you've lost since surgery; and that's so encouraging to read that the surgery has helped you with the emotional eating as well; and to know i'm not alone in wondering regarding the hunger compared to emotional eating issue. Thanks for what you've shared

@Orchids&Dragons thanks very much for your reply here. Definitely not something to do as a first option. i've done the loss, maintain, regain thing ........ a number of times. I've read some of the stories of sabotage after wls, and this is definitely something i want avoid, and to try and sort through before the surgery and find ways to reduce that happening. So working on my head, and finding new coping tools; that will then help with the surgery (as another tool) seems to be the direction I need to be taking