1/2 the person I used to be

[Frustr8 7,886]

That 2/4/2014 ticker keeps following me around. I do not know where it came from but September 5th 2018. is my true date. On the other date, as far as I can remember, I was fat, depressed but still working for Wal-Mart. My late husband was hostile toward me, it turns out he was in process of dying, I thought he maybe had Alzheimers, well I did promise in sickness and heath, so I tried to not let,people know my daily sorrows at home, because I did have my pride. He ad me convinced I could not do much of anything right. I was a horrid housekeeper,, my cooking was so horrendous that he was conviced I would kill him for his,insurance. He would tell me he didn't,want any,of my foul cooking, then after half an hour of me leaving,he and my son would go to China Buffet or another local restaurant. You know how it feels to be held at gunpoint? My life was pretty much like that, which way do I move to keep him calm and quiet? Luckily we had no guns or ammo in the house, or I might have been shot. And still I tried to hang on, he would threaten " When I know for certain I am going to die, I will kill both our son and you because you are such inept failures and couldn't survive without me!"
As it turns out, the hereditary kidney disease rampant in his family was also killing him. His doctor had warned him a couple of years before that without,proper specialist assistance he was surly going to die. About this time or shortly before he started not letting me accompli to doctors appointments. Usually if someone in our family had to see a doctor the rest of us would go for moral support.I had no. clue all this was going on, found the paperwork among his personal effects after his death. Why did the doctor not tell me or my son? Well we have a nasty little health manifesto called HIPAA, if someone requests another person. not know such information, the doctor is bound by law not to tell. I had been married to him 44 years, you would have thought I or our son would be his next of kin and should been told, well it Fi,dnot happen. And,he had also convinced me that no one really liked, loved or could put up with me. I was merely an extension of him and had. the personality of vanilla blancmange pudding. I could not possibly be liked by someone,in their,own mind.
Well to swich the subject I have,now shrunk down to 224 from a High Weight of 365+ in October 2017 and if my,caculations are correct 95 pounds lost in, just 8 months. I am currently losing 1 of your kg a week so there is a strong possibility I may be under 200 pounds by my one-year anniversary, that would leave me approximately 25 pounds from goal which I originally thought would be March 2020.
I had an appointment at my Bairatric clinic yesterday, I went in feeling I was resembling Road Kill, but they honestly believe I am doi,g well. My pouch is no longer showing signs of rampant gastritis, stoma still small but no longer a pinhole from all the swelling. Alas the jejunal ulcers still abide, she suspects they are causing the recurrent emesis, they keep the lumen of my RNY smaller so things above pureed move slower. Yes I am digesting,the foods but it is farther down where my bile and pancreatic juices come back in. So,continue as I have been but go ahead if I make vegetable Soup, don't strain , try to chew up the veggies if they are smallish size. I am fated for one more endosvopy, they will let me know when but unless there is great improvement I may have surgical intervention done by my Doctor Needleman. I don't have anotherWell Bariatric scheduled until August 15th but endoscopy late June or somewhere in July. Right now, and kind of pinned her down on this, told her I come from a wagering background, 8to5 😸👩 I will get surgery, said this usually resolves by 6-8 months. But there was No Way that ,this had been in my forecast. Keep on with Vitamins and minerals that will fill in the nutritional gaps, Protein of course , try to find a kind my pouch,will accept, vegetarian is still okay if milk and animal meats fail me. And she is very pleased to see how good I look! I have gone from Looking like my mother, my Aunt Grace, her older sister and this week I look like Grandma Cora their mother, a big surprise because she was physically much shorter than me. So I don't know who I will finally resemble at goal, I just hope I look good and don't frighten small childre,months footpath.
And I have absolutely no H Pylori, they keep testing to make sure it isn't a complication. But James, I have had 12 endoscopies, 9 at Ohio State University Hospital. The workers at the Hepatology/Endoscopy section now call me by name instead of a #. One time Dr Noria, my Dr Needlemans associate had an unexpected something come up so asked her chief resident to do it. I'm lying on the gurney , he comes in and says
" Assume the Position" that meant to slide up to the top of the gurney and flip onto the Left side. Yeah I knew what he meant!

[Brenttx 111]

You are truly inspiring and doing awesome!

[anl1990 91]

This is amazing, congratulations!! <3