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I feel like such a fool! Warning this post contains a "break-up" email*



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Honey, i know somewhat about what you are going through. my co-workers and one of my freinds whose has had gastric bypass 4 years ago all turned on me and treated me like dirt when they heard i was approved for the surgery. i think it is alot to do with jealousy. there are alot of people out there that pretend they want others to be happy and will be supportive about choices they make until they make them. and the one friend that had the bypass of mine, the last time i talked to her she was joking on fat people and saying very rude things and warning me about the surgery and saying bad things about the lapband. that was 3 months ago, she has called about 10 times since i has left 10 messages on my machine because i am done with her. i hope this surgery does nto make me that Shallow.

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Cookielover, I am so sorry you are going through this right now. It must be very difficult, but so many here have hit the nail squarely on the head when they point out these are her issues, not yours. She's obviosuly got some serious problems and is trying to project them on you.

Take care and as Ghost said, we can't replace her, but we're here for you.

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Holy smokes! Honey, I am sooo sorry this happened. You are doing a great thing for yourself and should be very proud of what you have accomplished.

I don't have much more to add than what everyone else has said is right. I just also wanted to say that we are here for you!

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Amy, I'm so sorry you got this email. This person is not your friend. She is using your positive changes to feel bad about herself and then blaming you for it. That email is not about you, it is about her. Let her go work out her issues on her own. If she was truly your friend, she will come back to you.

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Wantobeme is absolutely right! I have a friend that is starting to act weird around me too. I know it's because I have always been larger than her but now she knows I will be smaller soon. Your poor friend - we need to pray for her.

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Sorry you lost your friend but i think WANT is right. I have a co-worker who always makes mean remarks about people who have a WLS and she is the sole reason I have only told my mother(shes not happy either but whatever).

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All I can mutter over and over again while I stare aghast at the screen is....WTH? WTH? WTH?

I'm so sorry that you are hurting but your friend sounds like an emotionally crippled baby. I hope you find a new and true BETTER best friend soon. *hug*

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I Am Not Baffled At All...same Thing Has Happenned To Me...best Friend, We Always Support Each Other, No Matter What...i Guess She Could Not Take It That I Was Finally Going To Be Successful...so, We Are Not Friends Any More, It Is Envy, Jelousy (sp) And Where Did I Come Up With That Kind Of Money????? Last Year I Hired A Personal Trainner, Went To The Gym 4-5 Times A Week...she Hardly Talked To Me...then When She Saw That I Was Not Really Doing Very Well With It, She Became Supportive Again....we Have Always Been The Butt Buddies, Boobsie Twins, Ect...i Think That It Is Just The Fact That I Saved Money To Do This, And She Cant ...awefull!!!!! I Think It Happens All The Time!!!

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That is so bizarre. She obviously has her own issues and is putting the blame on your situation. I think that afeter 25 years she could at least pick up the phone. Hang in there. You only need positive people in your life right now! (((hugs)))

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All I can say is....... it's HER loss. Hang in there. I hope you can find a friend who appreciates you and supports you. I've been through a similar situation (related to pregnacy, not weight loss). It's tough but maybe it's for the best. You really don't need negativity right now.....we've all had enough of that to last a lifetime.

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I'm sorry you have to feel the pain of losing a dear friendship of 25 years. I too lost a life-long friend recently (not due to WLS) and it can be devastating. However, you are strong and commited to be a healthier, happier you and I'm sure you will succeed. It's unfortunate that your friend can't share all your success with you. If you do get a chance to speak in person, I hope that some issues can be resolved with time. Best wishes!

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I'm sorry cookies.... I agree with what everyone else has already stated.. Just surround yourself with support from somewhere else and continue taking care of yourself (you always have us LBT member to help you on your journey).<br /> <br /> Hopefully with time she will realize what a big mistake she made and come to her senses.. and maybe you two will be able to get through it.<br /> <br /> You did a lot to get where you are and you deserve the best!!!! Lots of hugs and always know we are all here for you!!!<img src="http://www.LapBandTalk.com/images/smilies/hug.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Hug" smilieid="260" class="inlineimg" /><br /> <br /> -Jeni<br /> <br /> <br /> <br />

Honey, i know somewhat about what you are going through. my co-workers and one of my freinds whose has had gastric bypass 4 years ago all turned on me and treated me like dirt when they heard i was approved for the surgery. i think it is alot to do with jealousy. there are alot of people out there that pretend they want others to be happy and will be supportive about choices they make until they make them. and the one friend that had the bypass of mine, the last time i talked to her she was joking on fat people and saying very rude things and warning me about the surgery and saying bad things about the lapband. that was 3 months ago, she has called about 10 times since i has left 10 messages on my machine because i am done with her. i hope this surgery does nto make me that Shallow.
I can't believe a fellow wls peer would become like this when they know the struggle of being overweight and losing weight... this is truely sad.. I also hope i never become this way.

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Hi Cookies

Hugely distressing for you for someone you loved and trusted to turn on you this way without warning. You must be reeling and my heart goes out to you that you are being attacked in this manner.

Cookies, were you very, very restricted when you spent time with her? I could imagine the non-banded freaking out a bit if someone they were with could barely manage a few spoonfuls of food or PB'd/slimed a lot. If you were OK and could manage small but healthy portions and really only cut out bread & sugar I can't imagine what all the melodrama is for.

I think the other posters on this thread are correct, this lady does have some serious food issues, Im so sorry that her fear and insecurities have wounded you this way.

Hugs

Sylvie

xx

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