Anyone else getting these weird back-handed compliments? Work started back up for me today and I got a lot of "Oh, you're wasting away/too skinny/ etc. comments. Which are all bs anyways because I'm still technically "obese" according to my bmi. Why are people so rude? How do you guys respond to comments like these?

#rantingaway

Yesterday at work in the break room, a coworker who I haven't seen in awhile said the same thing to me. Then she asked me if I had cancer! Really, how insensitive is that. If I did have cancer, why would you ask that in a room full of people? I was speechless for a minute, then I told her no I didn't have cancer, but thanks for her concern.

The thing I've heard lately by several people is, "I notice you've lost a lot of weight lately, has it been intentional?" I just respond with a polite "thank you and yes it is intentional, I'm not sick." When they ask "how much?" I just say "a lot!"

I notice the people that say "don't lose too much" are the people that also struggle with weight loss and know I am or will be smaller than them!

@Oct517 @DeeberLee @Lynnlovesthebeach Hi there...I've experienced the same comments except the cancer one YET whoaaa now that is BOLD!! The work folks can be the WORST unfortunately and when people try to call you out in front of a lot of people that is nothing but a hater bottom line!! Please DO NOT allow anyone to rob you of your joy, they see you happy and feeling good about yourselves and it's really sad but people can be very insensitive.

I do notice that the men that I work with and the regular men customers that come in to my work place are really genuine and sincere.

Now when people make ridiculous comments like these I just start laughing and say and I'm not done yet and keep it moving...No one walked in your shoes before surgery and knew your struggles but YOU. They only motivate me to work harder. I feel great and NOBODY is going to take that away from me. Smile and wave ladies you are doing a fantastic job!!

I wish you all nothing but the best!! ((Big Hugs))

I'm still newly post-op and have only lost 19 pounds, but as I anticipate losing more weight and family asking "Have you lost weight?" I'm just going to try to shrug it off as long as I can. Why do other people think it's okay to comment on someone else's weight anyway?

Most people mean well, so I just laugh it off. I generally say something like "I wish!" or "Not there yet!". I turn it into something light instead of getting my dander up.

Yesterday at work in the break room, a coworker who I haven't seen in awhile said the same thing to me. Then she asked me if I had cancer! Really, how insensitive is that. If I did have cancer, why would you ask that in a room full of people? I was speechless for a minute, then I told her no I didn't have cancer, but thanks for her concern.

Omg! Asking if you had cancer? Some people have a lot of nerve!

The thing I've heard lately by several people is, "I notice you've lost a lot of weight lately, has it been intentional?" I just respond with a polite "thank you and yes it is intentional, I'm not sick." When they ask "how much?" I just say "a lot!"
I notice the people that say "don't lose too much" are the people that also struggle with weight loss and know I am or will be smaller than them!

I've gotten the "is it intentional" thing also. People are so weird about things.

[mention=347112]Oct517[/mention] [mention=349104]DeeberLee[/mention] [mention=350803]Lynnlovesthebeach[/mention] Hi there...I've experienced the same comments except the cancer one YET whoaaa now that is BOLD!! The work folks can be the WORST unfortunately and when people try to call you out in front of a lot of people that is nothing but a hater bottom line!! Please DO NOT allow anyone to rob you of your joy, they see you happy and feeling good about yourselves and it's really sad but people can be very insensitive.
I do notice that the men that I work with and the regular men customers that come in to my work place are really genuine and sincere.
Now when people make ridiculous comments like these I just start laughing and say and I'm not done yet and keep it moving...No one walked in your shoes before surgery and knew your struggles but YOU. They only motivate me to work harder. I feel great and NOBODY is going to take that away from me. Smile and wave ladies you are doing a fantastic job!!
I wish you all nothing but the best!! ((Big Hugs))

Sadly, I agree that all of the negative or off comments I have received have come from other women.

I'm still newly post-op and have only lost 19 pounds, but as I anticipate losing more weight and family asking "Have you lost weight?" I'm just going to try to shrug it off as long as I can. Why do other people think it's okay to comment on someone else's weight anyway?

Yeah, I got the same bs from my family for awhile. Two days after surgery my sister goes "It doesn't seem like the surgery is working for you." Naturally I respond "Its only been two days, you dipshit." At the end of the day rude comments from family bother me less than those from aquiantances.

Most people mean well, so I just laugh it off. I generally say something like "I wish!" or "Not there yet!". I turn it into something light instead of getting my dander up.

Yeah, I dont actually respond to the people. I just smile. Not about to cause problems in the office over nothing. I'm more focused on how the comments effect me and how I feel about others.

Last weekend we went to see a favorite band that we had not seen for at least a year. The girl that sings and plays guitar is more of an acquaintance/facebook friend than a real friend. She is probably 30 years old. Went up to say hi to them when they took a break and she said "You look great--you have lost a **** load of weight!! I just laughed and said "I have" but I did not take it negative in any way since I know she is not the type of person to be rude or catty. A couple of other acquaintances that I have seen in the last month have simply told me I look great and only one has asked how much weight have I lost....I guess I don't easily get offended since I know people mean well.

Edited January 25, 20197 yr by MIZ60

@MIZ60I never get offended with the comments either. I work in a large hospital so I see a lot of people on a regular basis that are really just acquaintances and when they say stuff like, "Wow, you are really melting away" I just respond with "I sure am and I'm working hard at it!" I know who I want to know my story and who really doesn't need to know.