How did your family and friends react?

[Queenbee34 71]

I'm having an internal struggle about telling people that I am having bariatric surgery. My husband has been so supportive so has my parents and 3 really close friends. But when I told my mother in law after I received my official surgery date. She said well why can't you just follow a diet. I don't think she meant it to be as hurtful as it sounded but its comments like that I don't want to hear. It was already hard enough to make the decision to start my weight loss journey and to get to this point I am now. Its an accomplishment that I am proud of but I feel like I am keeping it a secret. After my mother in laws comment I don't think I will tell anyone else. Has anyone had the negativity with telling people in their life?

[Jean9 57]

I've had that reaction too from a few people. Why can't you just lose weight normally? I get mad cause obviously it's not that easy and not like I've tried! Tons of factors come into play. I think people just might not know what to say about the whole surgery thing. Surgery to some is probably very traumatic. All that matters is that we are choosing to better ourselves. Whether its through surgery, non surgery or what ever other method they need to see that! When's your surgery? Mine is Dec 26th...my moms bday! I sure hope everything goes well!

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[Orchids&Dragons 9,047]

Before surgery, I only told people I was positive would be supportive. I wasn't interested in debating pros and cons with Negative Nellies. They didn't get a vote. Told the rest of the family afterwards and pretty much said "support is welcome, not criticism"

[Johnny B 96]

I've had that reaction too from a few people. Why can't you just lose weight normally? I get mad cause obviously it's not that easy and not like I've tried! Tons of factors come into play. I think people just might not know what to say about the whole surgery thing. Surgery to some is probably very traumatic. All that matters is that we are choosing to better ourselves. Whether its through surgery, non surgery or what ever other method they need to see that! When's your surgery? Mine is Dec 26th...my moms bday! I sure hope everything goes well!Sent from my SM-G950U using BariatricPal mobile app

My wife and daughters know (they have been very supportive), but I'm not telling anyone else. Its MY personal journey, and whether they approve or disapprove doesn't matter to me. I want to get healthier. I started dieting and working out once again a few months ago, and am down 34 lbs. So, they will probably think it's just that. If they ask, I will answer truthfully, but I'm not going to broadcast it. I think its personal.

[Queenbee34 71]

5 minutes ago, Jean9 said:

I've had that reaction too from a few people. Why can't you just lose weight normally? I get mad cause obviously it's not that easy and not like I've tried! Tons of factors come into play. I think people just might not know what to say about the whole surgery thing. Surgery to some is probably very traumatic. All that matters is that we are choosing to better ourselves. Whether its through surgery, non surgery or what ever other method they need to see that! When's your surgery? Mine is Dec 26th...my moms bday! I sure hope everything goes well!

Sent from my SM-G950U using BariatricPal mobile app

Awe you are getting close to your surgery day! I'm so excited for you. My surgery day isn't until Feb 1st because my surgeon is just booked out that far. My mother in laws comment was just off putting to me because I thought she would be happy for me. And it did hurt my feelings for 2.5 secs because I know how hard I worked to get where I am now. I actually have lost weight during this whole process because I'm learning healthy eating habits and exercise for my body. I've had the support of the bariatric unit at the hospital.

[Queenbee34 71]

Yea I haven't shouted it from the roof tops and I've stayed off of personal social media as well. I feel its personal. I do like that idea of telling people after the surgery. I'll just have to remember to say that support is welcomed but not criticism. That's really great advise. Negativity is not something I need nor want right now especially right before surgery. Anxiety is already high just from the anticipation of the surgery.

[notmyname 593]

I didn't tell many people. When I told my brother and SIL, I thought they might not be fully supportive. So I armed myself with data. As a percentage, how few people my size are able to lose significant weight and keep it off. The stats on how bariatric surgery works where diets don't. How rare complications are. How much I'd thought about it and tried every other way. In the end, I know they wish I hadn't had to do it, but they understood that it was the only way forward for me. Other than that, I told 2 friends and my boss. Just not anybody's business.

[NYJenn 1,464]

This is why I didn’t tell anyone other then my husband and my mom; I just don’t need anyone else’s opinion

[insta_adventurer 1,046]

I told a few people. My husband, mom, siblings, close friends, and a few close colleagues (so they knew I wasn’t out due to a serious illness or anything). I didn’t tell extended family until after, because... I wasn’t sure if I’d actually go through with it.

I’ve really only had like one semi-negative comment where someone compared my weight loss to someone who did it the “hard way” 🙄🙄🙄by walking and exercising a bunch. I said, “Right, because getting your body sliced apart and being on a restricted diet for months is totally the easy way...”

I just don’t think people think before they speak.

[Swanton_Bomb 522]

My husband has been incredibly supportive but a little freaked out that I had taken some steps before telling him. My mom was 90% supportive, but she was scared for me to do it. I am not telling anyone else. My MIL and BIL are both very judgemental about weight, and I don't need negativity or embarrassment, so I'm keeping this to myself. I am a private person, and I don't think weight or health needs to be discussed with extended family. If I do lose a significant amount, as I am trying to, I would feel bad about being dishonest about my efforts with people who also have a weight problem though.

[Johnny B 96]

11 minutes ago, insta_adventurer said:

I told a few people. My husband, mom, siblings, close friends, and a few close colleagues (so they knew I wasn’t out due to a serious illness or anything). I didn’t tell extended family until after, because... I wasn’t sure if I’d actually go through with it.

I’ve really only had like one semi-negative comment where someone compared my weight loss to someone who did it the “hard way” 🙄🙄🙄by walking and exercising a bunch. I said, “Right, because getting your body sliced apart and being on a restricted diet for months is totally the easy way...”

I just don’t think people think before they speak.

There is always an a*****e or two in the bunch. That’s why I thinks it’s better for me to keep it to myself. Congrats on your 95lb weight loss. It’s inspiring.

[Swanton_Bomb 522]

12 minutes ago, insta_adventurer said:

I told a few people. My husband, mom, siblings, close friends, and a few close colleagues (so they knew I wasn’t out due to a serious illness or anything). I didn’t tell extended family until after, because... I wasn’t sure if I’d actually go through with it.

I’ve really only had like one semi-negative comment where someone compared my weight loss to someone who did it the “hard way” 🙄🙄🙄by walking and exercising a bunch. I said, “Right, because getting your body sliced apart and being on a restricted diet for months is totally the easy way...”

I just don’t think people think before they speak.

Yep, also the liquid diet is easy, as are 6 months of weigh-ins and invasive tests, and gas pains, and scars, and vomiting, Constipation, and eating 500 calories a day, no carbs, no sugar. What a dumb thing to say. It isn't easier, it is more effective.

[AnnaWallace 35]

I thought about keeping it a secret and did until about half way through the process until I really thought about it and decided I really didn't care what others opinions were on the matter because I am doing this for me, not for them. Now I have a Facebook page that I invite everyone too. Surprisingly enough everyone has been very supportive. I have no shame in what I am doing for myself, you shouldn't either!

[zaid 9]

I'm having an internal struggle about telling people that I am having bariatric surgery. My husband has been so supportive so has my parents and 3 really close friends. But when I told my mother in law after I received my official surgery date. She said well why can't you just follow a diet. I don't think she meant it to be as hurtful as it sounded but its comments like that I don't want to hear. It was already hard enough to make the decision to start my weight loss journey and to get to this point I am now. Its an accomplishment that I am proud of but I feel like I am keeping it a secret. After my mother in laws comment I don't think I will tell anyone else. Has anyone had the negativity with telling people in their life?

I live with my mom and my sister, they are the only know that knows....and my boss because I had to ask leave but I'm not telling anyone..I havent even told my best friend. Before I was even planning to get the surgery she would tell me "Don't ever get the surgery...I dont want you too and I wouldn't be supportive" so I havent told her nor any family and friends..I had my surgery in July....its come up around family but I keep denying it..I feel like it's my journey..my alone...its not taking the easy rode as people say, as I used to say. It's really hard work....I. proud of my progress and I dont want to bring in negative vibe...if you do decide to tell people I hope you will not get any negative vibe but just good support

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[FlyAwayFree 58]

15 hours ago, Queenbee34 said:

I'm having an internal struggle about telling people that I am having bariatric surgery. My husband has been so supportive so has my parents and 3 really close friends. But when I told my mother in law after I received my official surgery date. She said well why can't you just follow a diet. I don't think she meant it to be as hurtful as it sounded but its comments like that I don't want to hear. It was already hard enough to make the decision to start my weight loss journey and to get to this point I am now. Its an accomplishment that I am proud of but I feel like I am keeping it a secret. After my mother in laws comment I don't think I will tell anyone else. Has anyone had the negativity with telling people in their life?

I went into this without telling anyone but my hubby, adult children, and a few trusted friends. And I am very glad. Everyone in my life that knows is super supportive and loves me no matter what. No one griped about my weight before and everyone is just happy I am happy now. I am almost 6 weeks out from surgery, down 52 pounds, and don't feel like I am keeping any secrets. Lol, I had a female surgery earlier this year and I don't tell anyone about it either, so why would this be any different? It is what it is, a tool. And I LOOOOVE mine! It's not up for debate and I am still the one who has to do the work. I could seriously still eat like crap, its a choice now after surgery, but one made easier because of the surgery. I did this, I did the appointments, the liquid diet, the surgery, the recovery, and now the careful eating. So I don't have a need to share that I had surgery, its not a secret, just a nice tool in my repertoire!

I wish you luck and happiness and all the lovely things I am experiencing!