“Clean Your Plate!”

[bettie.blue 50]

I imagine most of us were raised hearing this. It is something that I struggled greatly with growing up, as an adult, and even now post op. It cannot be that I am the only one, so I wanted to share my struggles and thoughts. This philosophy was strictly enforced in my house; I remember sitting by an open window, watching the neighborhood kids play outside, while I ignored the cold plate of meatloaf in front of me until bedtime. I have wondered how things got so out of hand with my weight; maybe because my relationship with food was unhealthy so early in life? Did I try to take back some of my own and over do it? Regardless, here I am kickstarting my rebirth. This new life is one where I leave the path my parents, grandparents, even great grandparents have been following and make my own. There is so much I want to take with me from their eras; preserving and growing vegetables from my great grandmother, sewing from my grandmother, and my mother’s passion for literacy and books. Respectfully, they can keep their rules for the dinner table though. Instead of cleaning my plate, I will make smaller meals, use fresher ingredients (grown by myself, guys!), and save treats like homemade bread, Cookies, pie, and cake for special occasions. I will exchange my indulgences to (hopefully) live a longer, more active life, feel more confident and competent at my job, and minimize my risk of hypertension, early onset arthritis, and diabetes. This surgery has given me so much hope and motivation to change my life for the better. I know all of you can too! Let’s share and hope to inspire eachother.

What are your biggest struggles during your journey? Why do you think you have these particular struggles? What do you want to do to overcome them?

[Frustr8 7,886]

hearing of people that progress faster than me, looking at food that I can't and possibly never will eat, know I am following instructions my doctor gave me but wonder if it's any good. Guess you hit me on a negative day, I do know down deep I really am better off, it just seems like so lo g to get to where I want to be. I have had arthritis since 25, never a day without pain but at least not worsening. And I wish, just wish, someone would notice I have lost over 37 pounds, when you start above 300 pounds,it is not as evident . But each day,that I wake up,alive and breathing is another chance, and without surgery I wouldn't have,that so it will still turn out GOOD.

[bettie.blue 50]

@Frustr8 Sometimes it’s nice to hear, “Wow, you look wonderfully well!” After all, we’re busting tail for a better life, right? But let me tell you something. In my field (nursing), we look beyond what is skin deep. We’re looking at blood chemistry, biology on a molecular level, emotional health, and more. Body mass index plays a part in your health but it should be taken with a grain of salt. If I were looking at labs and health reports from 355 lbs You vs 321 lbs You, my first feeling would likely be pride. The difference would be tangible, measurable, and very, very laudable.

I would likely think, “Wow, this patient’s labs look so much better than they used to! *check weight* And they’ve lost 37 lbs? *check diagnoses* No body wasting illnesses like cancer so that’s good.... Well, damn! Great job!”

Maybe it would help to measure yourself by different methods other than pounds. You may like what you see!

Edited October 8, 2018 by bettie.blue

[Frustr8 7,886]

Remember an nursing school instructor stating Nursing is health and wellness centered & medicine is sickness and illiness centered. She was a little proud for her profession but maybe a kernel of wisdom there? At any rate I do enjoy your postings Bettie.Blue 👉😛👈

[bettie.blue 50]

Maybe? I don’t know but I am glad you enjoyed reading. Best wishes!

[Ed_NW 684]

I think the mentality of "waste not, want not" was passed down from my grandparents generation. They were born between 1905 and 1922, right before the great depression. A lot of the people that you see on these hoarder shows grew up with that mentality. Most people that feel a conviction to clean their plates also subscribe to that way of thinking. I broke the tradition of holding on to junk just because "someday I might meed it". I recently bought a new house and I took more trips to the dump than I did to my new place (a lot got put on Craigslist). Out with the old and in with the new. With all of that said, I was a human garbage disposal because nobody else in the house would eat leftovers and I couldn't stand to see it go to waste. That's insanity and through this journey I've realized that. The new way of dealing with food for me is similar to the way I deal with other possessions. Out with the old and in with the new (and try not to prepare too much).

[Frustr8 7,886]

I was right next to you in the Family Trashcan department, I would 3at the leftovers I couldn't find a Rubbermaid container to fit. That way the refrigerator wouldn't get stuffed but my jeans sure did.👖And I deluded myself I was making it better for my family, by doing this.
Nut I have reformed, been reformulated by surgery, and we are all acting grown-up and admitting responsibility. And that is the way it should have been all along!😛

[elcee 3,341]

I was a fussy eater as a child, I would eat tinned baked Beans or spaghetti for breakfast! Loved fish fingers, wasn't a fan of a heap of veg.

Mum remarried when I was 7 and Dad would make me sit at the table and finish what was on my plate and I think that is probably what triggered my weight issues but really who knows. I kept getting told to think about the poor starving children in Africa. I'm not sure how my eating everything helped them and I'm sure at least once I offered to put my food in an envelope and send it to them.

I still have nightmares about peas. I can't stand the things. I would cover them in Tomato sauce and swallow them whole as that was the only was I could get them down. I also hated cheese and was forever been told how healthy it was. I am now happy to eat cheese but only the mild varieties. I can't stand blue or strong cheeses. As it is so full of fat and calories I think I would have been better off still hating it.

I was plump from about age 9 or 10. I got told it was puppy fat and I would lose it when I was older and so began my life of yoyo dieting - Injections, pills, hypnosis , Beverley Hills, Cabbage Soup I've done it all.

[bettie.blue 50]

Ugh. I feel the same way about friend chicken, which is practically a cardinal sin in the southern United States. Yuck!

[Frustr8 7,886]

So today was Thanksgiving @ bettie.blue, how did things turn out with you?

[bettie.blue 50]

I certainly didn’t leave a clean plate! Lol I optimistically put a little of everything on my 5 inch plate and ate half of it. No guilt whatsoever! How about you?

[NYJenn 1,463]

To piggyback on this...anyone have any parental advice? My boys get a little of everything that is cooked for dinner (for example; chicken, broccoli, and rice) on their plate however I don’t force them to eat. We always have fruit and yogurt as an alternative “meal”. I do this because I refuse to make a separate Meal and also because the more I expose them to the foods we eat, the more often they actually try them (honestly, they really do!) Any other moms or dads have different ideas/advice?

[FluffyChix 17,413]

Quite frankly it's part of the human condition to seek reasons why "x, y, or z" are happening to you or that happened to you that will "let us off" the proverbial hook for self-responsibility and culpability. And the whole "starving kids in China" thing might have been a valid argument when you were a kid, thinking with a kid brain and kid programming. BUT...it ends at some point. At some point, you are a rational ADULT and you are thinking and reacting as a RATIONAL adult. You are not still using a child brain to process behaviors, habits, etc. At some point we all have adult culpability for the reason why we found ourselves as lifetime members of the Obesity Ball. We can't blame anyone or anything else other than our own shabby human will and piss poor metabolism that we did somehow contribute to through our choices.

But in owning our choices lies our redemption. Our recovery will be our own. Not anyone else's. We did not get fat cuz we were made to clean our plates. We won't stay fat because of it. But, we do now need to recognize portions and what an appropriate portion is for us at each stage of eating/recovery. And that will build a lifetime of new habits. Send the damn extra food to the starving kids in China for Christ's sake! The postage will be lots cheaper than the emotional baggage we "want to try" to continue to carry. Forgive the parents and move on.