On social media, I see entire Instagram accounts dedicated to people's personal journeys of getting sleeved. I see so many that this *feels* like the norm. But I am curious to know...do any of you NOT tell a lot of people about your surgery? I am not ashamed to be getting sleeved, but for whatever reason I do feel very private about it. It feels like this deeply personal medical decision that I don't want to involve more people in than is necessary. I am not inclined to tell more people than I absolutely have to, at least until I have actually had the surgery. I am working through so many of my own fears and anxieties that I feel like I don't have emotional bandwidth to tell others about my surgery and deal with their questions, fears, and anxieties about it. I'd rather wait until it's done and then tell people as I feel comfortable. Would love to know your thoughts/experiences about how open you chose to be...

1 hour ago, sillykitty said:

@CrankyMagpie

Just my two cents, but don't let what you think other people are thinking alter your behavior. It'd be really unfortunate if you missed out on Indian and Sushi because of that. I eat out a lot, and no way I'd letter anyone's opinion, perceived or real interfere with that.

Also, why 6 months? I am 7 months post op and have a really small stomach capacity. Like two pieces of specialty sushi roll, capacity.

Thanks ❤️

I am just real, real tired of being judged, being a fat person in a society that hates fat people, I guess. I fight fat stigma where I can--though I mostly don't bother here on bariatric surgery boards, for obvious reasons. But it's exhausting, so I pick my battles. I often avoid behaviors that'll draw attention to myself, unless I'm ready for a fight.

At six months, I should be down ~60% of my excess weight (on average, or so my surgeon's PA tells me), and I know from (distant past) experience that I'm super comfortable living in the world at that weight--I don't feel like I'm at risk of being judged all the time. So, I mean, it's an arbitrary date, nothing written in stone. I'm honestly pretty comfortable at 30 pounds above that weight, so it may not even be that long?

I guess there's also the whole "hey, I will probably have built some good habits and also learned how my new stomach works" thing, right? I have this vague idea that maybe I'll be drawn to healthier menu items after six months of semi-scrupulous healthy eating--or at least that I'll have further strengthened my "choose the healthy thing" muscles. And also I don't ever want to throw up in a restaurant if it can be avoided. So I'll do all the error testing at home. ? Which might mean we get Indian delivered, as a test run, and/or we get take-out from the sushi place nearby.

I'm not planning a life of hardship, I promise. ?

2 minutes ago, CrankyMagpie said:

Thanks ❤️

I am just real, real tired of being judged, being a fat person in a society that hates fat people, I guess. I fight fat stigma where I can--though I mostly don't bother here on bariatric surgery boards, for obvious reasons. But it's exhausting, so I pick my battles. I often avoid behaviors that'll draw attention to myself, unless I'm ready for a fight.

At six months, I should be down ~60% of my excess weight (on average, or so my surgeon's PA tells me), and I know from (distant past) experience that I'm super comfortable living in the world at that weight--I don't feel like I'm at risk of being judged all the time. So, I mean, it's an arbitrary date, nothing written in stone. I'm honestly pretty comfortable at 30 pounds above that weight, so it may not even be that long?

I guess there's also the whole "hey, I will probably have built some good habits and also learned how my new stomach works" thing, right? I have this vague idea that maybe I'll be drawn to healthier menu items after six months of semi-scrupulous healthy eating--or at least that I'll have further strengthened my "choose the healthy thing" muscles. And also I don't ever want to throw up in a restaurant if it can be avoided. So I'll do all the error testing at home. ? Which might mean we get Indian delivered, as a test run, and/or we get take-out from the sushi place nearby.

I'm not planning a life of hardship, I promise. ?

Ok, good ... I totally understand all of that.

A couple of years post-op I went on a culinary vacation, where the highlights of the trip were the ingredient selection, preparation, and then the presentation of local specialties for our meals. There were some comments about how little I ate and finally I addressed them by saying I couldn't eat more for medical reasons. That stopped the comments. I had a wonderful time, though I ate just a tiny bit, like a half-tablespoon, of every dish at each meal. (Multiple dishes for each dinner.) I savored every bite.

9 hours ago, sillykitty said:

And then when the manager comes over to make sure nothing was wrong with the meal

Awwww man,

You guys are doing it all wrong... Free meals if you say they were trash... Just joking

I kept it to myself. Sleeved July last year. Only my husband knows. I worked with a woman who had a sleeve done and my coworkers judged and talked about this woman in such a negative way. There were comments like, " I would never mutilate my body for a bit of vanity." I just decided I don't want the burden of educating these women about WLS. I am my priority and I am so happy I made this decision. When people ask me how I list weight I tell them I made drastic changes about my health which is true.

At almost 66, I had an attack of the periformis muscle in my back 2 years ago that left me with ridiculopathy in both legs. I then started pain in my knees and went through 2 neurologists, 2 cardiologists, 2 GPS, 24 weeks of PT, a spine doctor, and 2 orthopedics. I have bone on bone arthritis and I might have gone through enough pain in March of next year to start knee replacements. I’ve gained over 80 pounds through this process. Most days I am early function and I still work full time, have a home and 3 dogs, direct a children’s choir and singing my church choir. Oh, and single. It was my idea to have the sleeve surgery and my doctors are all thrilled. I think it will be end of Oct/first of November. I was so thrilled to see the light from the tunnel through my half full glass, that I told the world. Humble, Tx

I am the same way in fact I just posted on what to say to people at work because though I have a few "confidants" at work I don't want everyone to know. I feel the same way with family members-only my mom, sister, husband and best friend know about my upcoming surgery. I feel that maybe after the surgery and I see some results I may feel differently and may then want to share but I too feel that it's private and I don't want to deal with people's judgements and comments at the present time.

I haven't told anyone except my husband and it's been a complete non-issue. My coworkers sometimes tease about how little I eat, but I work with all men, and they're big guys. They know I'm trying to lose weight, trying to be careful about what I eat, and that I'm physically way tinier than they are (even before surgery). I don't let their teasing bother me.

I do think twice when ordering at restaurants. The portions are HUGE and it does end up seeming like I didn't like my food or just picked at my food. When my husband is with me, we'll share his meal and I'll get a soup or side salad. Friends/family who eat with us just think we're being cute, it doesn't occur to them that I've consumed a considerably small amount of food. When I'm by myself, I'll look for something that seems like it will be on the smaller/lighter side. I avoid things like salads because I can't eat to make even a dent in the salad, lol. I'll usually do something like a single taco plate, or a small protein (chicken) with side veggies, etc.

I choose to only tell my husband, children and best friend. It was my journey and mine alone. I am three months out and maybe it is just me but I still go out to eat with friends and people all the time and no one notices how little I eat because I order smaller and eat slow and haven't draw attention to anything. I think you would be surprised. When I am offered items I no longer eat, I simply say I am not eating sugar and going light/no carbs for a while. Crazy but it has worked for me.

I posted earlier, but as an addendum, being single and living alone presents unique complications to any journey off the beaten track. I told the world because I’m going to need the support of every person in my world to succeed. I usually keep all my secrets well hidden, but I want to succeed at this and I need the help