On social media, I see entire Instagram accounts dedicated to people's personal journeys of getting sleeved. I see so many that this *feels* like the norm. But I am curious to know...do any of you NOT tell a lot of people about your surgery? I am not ashamed to be getting sleeved, but for whatever reason I do feel very private about it. It feels like this deeply personal medical decision that I don't want to involve more people in than is necessary. I am not inclined to tell more people than I absolutely have to, at least until I have actually had the surgery. I am working through so many of my own fears and anxieties that I feel like I don't have emotional bandwidth to tell others about my surgery and deal with their questions, fears, and anxieties about it. I'd rather wait until it's done and then tell people as I feel comfortable. Would love to know your thoughts/experiences about how open you chose to be...

16 minutes ago, MargoCL said:

My boyfriend and I thought about telling his parents and he debated it on his last visit home. But then his mother made a comment about her niece's sister'n'law and having WLS and she was so cruel and ignorant about it that my BF opted to keep it between us. I told him after her told me this that his family was probably the only people that I really didn't want to share this with. Nothing good can come of it. And the way I see it, it's not a lie to say I'm on a medically approved and monitored eating plan. - His mother is 5' and weighs 80lbs soaking wet and has pretty much her entire life.

Nothing about WLS requires you to sacrifice yourself on the altar of bitchdom. Do what works for you!

I've only opened up to family members that might benefit from my experience. The answer to everyone else when asked "how'd you loose all that weight" will be, less food and more activity. That's what a guy that I hadn't seen in about a year said after loosing a lot of weight and that worked for me.

I’ve lost 45 pounds and can’t keep quiet anymore because I’m constantly being asked what I’m doing to lose weight and I would never lie.

Ive only told my husband and mom when I scheduled the surgery. I told my teenage boys 2 days before surgery as well as my two best friends. I am a hairdresser and I am sure I will be questioned as my clients see me monthly. But I'm not sure if I will say or what I will say. You have to do what is right for you. I am sad that one of my best friends of 15 years is jealous and has pulled away since. I have a gut feeling she has told her family whom I close with and I will be very disappointed if so...... this is my journey to tell, not hers

My family (husband, kids and both sisters. and Pastor) are the only ones that know about my surgery.

3 hours ago, Orchids&Dragons said:

My mother-in-law has a cruel streak. She pretends that the incidents are accidental foot-in-mouth mistakes, but I've seen it too consistently over the last 29 years. She came into town for our son's graduation, 3 months after my surgery. Hubby had the task of telling her about it on the ride home from the airport and letting her know that any comment other than "You're looking good." would not be tolerated. She actually kept her tongue. I was shocked. So, good luck with your in-laws.

I only told the people that I feel care about ME. Not social media

(In-laws don't know) My MIL, niece and brother in law are arriving next week. The depression has set in and I am so dreading the visit. Orchids & Dragon Thank you, I'm calling my Surgeons office. I can't be blue and have anxiety too.

My husband knows, obviously, and I told my parents, and sisters though I almost didn’t even tell them. I have one friend that I’ve told, other than that it’s not known. I’m private in general and especially have no interest in broadcasting this very personal decision.

I told my husband and one of my three kids.

11 minutes ago, somegirlsrbiggerthanother said:

I only told the people that I feel care about ME. Not social media

(In-laws don't know) My MIL, niece and brother in law are arriving next week. The depression has set in and I am so dreading the visit. Orchids & Dragon Thank you, I'm calling my Surgeons office. I can't be blue and have anxiety too.

I was absolutely dreading her visit, but if ever your spouse is going to stand up to Mom, this is the time. I wanted her to know because she was going to be staying with us at the house and it would be pretty obvious. I hope your MIL can be a bit nicer, too. (Sheesh, you'd think you were asking for a kidney or something, huh?) I hope your visit goes well.

1 minute ago, Jingle123423 said:

I told my husband and one of my three kids.

Which one? The nosiest? The noisiest? Oldest? Quietest?

The only person who knows is my husband. I have set some big fitness goals (ironman etc) and been vocal about them. I'm exercising a lot, basically I've done a full 180 to my lifestyle (cycling daily, swim lessons) and I think when you do that, people just don't ask questions because they just assume it is parallel to the lifestyle change. As to why I haven't told anyone other than my husband.....it's private. I don't know the medical details of anyone in my circle so why share mine? I have a food psychologist I work with and I am part of a bariatric support group that respects privacy so the support I get is very healthy and good.

@diabladepaz At 5 months out today, I still haven't told a lot of people. Same as you, it's not because I was ashamed, but I considered this a personal journey and really none of anyone else's business.

My husband and only a small group of people that I trust. My adult children do not know. None of my immediate family knows.

Any questions specifically about my eating (or not eating) have been directed at my husband and not me.

• About a month out, my children noticed that I wasn't eating very much and asked my husband if I was sick.
• Went out to dinner with friends and afterwards one of them asked my husband if I was OK.

Other than that, no one has asked me anything other than asking me what I'm doing to lose weight! At that point, I answer honestly that I am more mindful about what I'm eating, focusing on protein, etc. All of which is true, I just don't tell them about my secret weapon.

Words of wisdom: if you have to eat in a social setting, be prepared. I still struggle with it a little and have gotten a sideways glance or 2 that felt a little judgmental.

I haven't had my surgery yet but I have only told my husband and mother and I'm not planning on telling anyone else. People are too judgemental about it, and I'm also afraid that it will set up unrealistic expectations for my weight loss. In reality, people lose 50-70% of their excess weight. Not everyone is a People magazine cover. I also don't want people acting like the food police and commenting on my food.

I didn’t tell my parents or my boyfriends mom bcuz I didn’t want them to worry especially since I went to Mexico, people freak out when I tell them that. My work family and my kids know. I think it’s a personal choice who u tell

I’ve been waiting all day to have my surgery, looks like now it’s gonna be 7pm. I’m so ready to get this show on the road! I’ll be looking to all of you for support and sharing my experiences as well.