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Am I going to fail?



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I have lost 22lbs since my surgery almost 6 weeks ago but haven't lost anything of significance since week 4. I went away for 12 days to Greece in week 3 and although I ate very little and walked for miles, I only lost 4lbs while we were away and nothing since then.

I was quite depressed today about my weight and this operation. I think I am going to fail at it frown.png

Reason being, I have realised that I can eat whatever I want, it just takes a lot longer to do it, this is shocking and sad to me. For instance, I can make a sandwich, eat a third, wait half an hour or a bit longer, then carry on eating, depressing. This seems to apply to any food except possibly meat. I realised that I could easily eat more than 1200 calories just by eating every hour rather than having a meal then feeling satisfied and not eating again for at least three hours. I am so mixed up and confused about this, and so sad.

I am not eating out of hunger as I haven't actually felt the hunger yet, just a vague empty feeling now and again. I haven't lost any weight at all in a week, this is very telling for me.

I have realised I no longer have that bad restriction. Its as though my stomach has suddenly got bigger overnight, I tested it with some rice and chilli and was able to eat 5 dessert spoons before I felt ill. I literally couldn't eat another bite at first when the restriction kicked in, now I can and its only slightly uncomfortable, nowhere near the pain threshold I had previously, this is worrying to me. On the one hand its great that I can eat a little more but on the other, its a scary, and very slippy slope.

Today we had a bbq and I I was very surprised to find that I could eat 4 beautiful juicy prawns and a full sausage without the full feeling kicking in. When we last had a bbq a couple of weeks ago, I only ate half a sausage and a quarter of a burger.
I have definitely healed a bit more in my stomach area which must be why I can eat more.

I'm making a conscious effort to drink at least 2 litres/ 8 glasses of liquids a day and I have at least 60 grams of Protein every day as well. I am not exercising much at the moment, just taking a daily walk.
From reading lots of posts, hundreds of people on the internet have all lost at least 100lbs (7 stone) over a year to 18 months. Maybe I am judging it a bit too quick and my body is still adjusting to the weight loss but it is so depressing to me that I could fail. I do understand that I could be one of the slow losers, I do understand that I could be in a stall. I really need to get my act together, it can't be just me that it doesn't work for!

P.s sorry for the pity party :(

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Talk to you Dr, every Dr has a different handbook mine doesn’t even let me smell rice, bread or Pasta I stay away from sausages only eat meat with the less % of fat and exercise 5 times a week I don’t do sugar or juice and don’t get me started on BBQ Sauce stay away from all that this is not a race this is a second chance at life

remember this surgery is not a magic pill you need to work you A&$ off to get results this is only a vehicle for you to be able to get to where you need to be

if you are not hungry don’t eat you are just probably bored get a hobbit get out of the house try to stay busy

but again I really think you should talk to a Dr see what his input is and maybe talk to a nutritionist

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Calm down. Here is your problem - you are grazing and not following the plan.

Eat dense Protein first, measure or weigh it out, then add 1/4 cup of vegetables and be done with your meal. Don't eat sandwiches - ditch the bread.

RULE#1 - Protein in correct portions. 60grams or more. Chew slowly. No liquids during meals.

RULE#2 - Eat at planned intervals, 3 meals plus 2-3 Snacks.

RULE#3 - Water at least 64oz.

RULE#4 - No drinking until 30 minutes after eating.

- There will be nonlinear weight loss, stalls, and hard work on this journey. You stated that you are not hungry but are eating anyway, if this continues you should seek some therapy, we have all had issues with food - physical restriction will only get the ball rolling, the head games we play to justify eating will doom you to failure unless you find a way to fix that. Good luck and keep posting.

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You will fail only if You let yourself. The fact,you have come here shows you're reaching out for help. Every body is a little different, I also can't eat rice anymore it sits in my stomach like a lump of concrete and,makes me uncomfortable. Do go talk to a dietician/ nutritionist, get your diet fine-tuned, don't worry they have heard it all by now and won't be shocked. I think also you are a tad bored by life, you could slide back,into mindless eating. I'm clear,over here. in the U.S or I'd sit down with you and help work something,out. But seeking help isn't a bad thing, it is maturity to realize you can't do things all alone on your own. Please go seek some more help, if they say you are just fine, that's a heavy load off of your mind. Hugs from Ohio your friend Frustr8.

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@Alison Murray

Grazing is something that is a loop hole of this surgery. You will need to learn to control your "head hunger" or the urge to eat, just to eat. You can gain weight easily by grazing or by drinking your calories.

You aren't alone feeling confused by your restriction. Sometimes I am shocked at how much I can eat, and other times I take two or three bites and it feels like I've just had my surgery two weeks ago. I haven't found a correlation between what I eat either, because I'm very diligent about eating Protein every meal. All I can say is, I don't let my restriction dictate how much I eat. Let me repeat, I don't let my restriction dictate what I eat. What I mean by this, is I still measure out my food and I only eat as much as recommended by my program, which for me is no more than 6oz per sitting (protein and veggies included) usually I do 4oz of protein, and 2 oz of veggies. I also keep my meals around 300 calories. Obviously, if I'm full before the 6oz, I don't push further and I DON'T go back later (once my pouch as emptied) for seconds.

Larger weight loss amounts, early on, is common in higher BMIs. I've lost 112lbs in 5 months post op. My BMI was well into the 50's though. You can do this! I'm glad to see you acknowledged that it can take 12-18 months, because it can. I won't consider my active weight loss complete until I've hit that 2 year mark. My doctor told me that average weight loss is around 3-4lbs per week, for the first 3 months. After that, it can slow to 1-3lbs per week. I'm loosing on average 9-11lbs per month now, but it seems to be slowing.

The biggest thing is to keep track of your eating. Are you logging all your foods, even the bites here or there? Normally, I'd say snacking is OK, but in your case I'd warn against it. I would try and minimize your eating to three meals a day. If you need a snack, use a Protein Shake.

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Thank you all, for your replies.

I realise this is not normal behaviour and I need to rectify it. I will take on board all you have suggested and see if I can make this work for me.

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Alison, love, I know you can and I believe you and all your bari-family there and abroad are cheering you on. I'm lying on my bed and watching Royal Ascot. At first I was envious and then I realized I have the,potential to be as fine in my way as all those fine Lords, Ladies and even Her Majesty the Queen. As she has become the best Elizabeth she could be I can be the Best Frustr8 I can be and you have the,potential to grow into a truly splendid Alison. Never sell yourself short, you are still a work in progress and I look forward to reading more of the Alison Story. Ta Ta for now!

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I know how scary the 'is this going to fail feeling is. But you've had some sound advice.

However worth knowing is that some of that initial restriction you feel at first is due to the tightness that the inflammation caused by surgery, gives you.

You'll ease into the new way of eating. Good luck 😊

Edited by Fat Vegan
realised Alison is a sleeved person rather than banded

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I don't think your problem is not understanding "the rules"...I think you've got some other issues that fuel your addiction to bad eating habits and you need to address them.

See your dietitian. Keep a food journal. Get help finding problem areas with your eating. Get help defining good choices and the best limits for you.

See your weight loss therapist. Get some help figuring out the reasons why your not making good choices and develop some strategies for improving.

Everyone fails sometimes. But continuing to fail, and not addressing the problem...is a choice. You can make better choices and there are people who will help you. Love yourself and get busy. You can do this!

Edited by Creekimp13

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On 23/06/2018 at 3:38 PM, Frustr8 said:

Alison, love, I know you can and I believe you and all your bari-family there and abroad are cheering you on. I'm lying on my bed and watching Royal Ascot. At first I was envious and then I realized I have the,potential to be as fine in my way as all those fine Lords, Ladies and even Her Majesty the Queen. As she has become the best Elizabeth she could be I can be the Best Frustr8 I can be and you have the,potential to grow into a truly splendid Alison. Never sell yourself short, you are still a work in progress and I look forward to reading more of the Alison Story. Ta Ta for now!

Thank you for your advice, you cheered me up :)

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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