It sounds off-putting, reading most of the forums honestly is off-putting, how does one even start to manoeuver through the swamp of disparaging topics with obvious solutions at best or unsolicited snarky advice at worse?

Yes a lot of us are at different stages in our journeys, most of us probably want to use our walking stick to wack some sense into someone else's skull but that is beside the point.

I didn't join this form for a wine fest, I joined for support.

I'll be damned if I'm going to be a 'keyboard warrior' stick hitting or an emotional punching bag for someone's idea of a grand get off.

I choose kindness, I choose to stick up for those other's will not. I choose loving myself where I am at now. With God's help, and a lot of locals here support I'll make it fine.

My name's Hannah J Capps, don't mind me much I love singing playing guitar and being my own self-advocate but also asking for help when I need it.

Mom has and always will be my biggest human support. I become lonely quite often, I have trouble voicing what is in my voice.

I was bullied online before it became chic. I was verbally hazed before it became an epidemic right alongside the opiate overdose epidemic and the rising suicide epidemic.

I'm sure self-mutilation is on the rise more so then when I last check the CDC statistic.

I'm coming to slowly know that a group of opinionated people who really just wish to dump and not help clean up afterward is what this forum is made of.

The few that are good-hearted, who take time to listen (or in this case read the text) are a rare thing. I've been beaten up too much socially to stick out my neck again.

I'm a turtle 'is it OK?' nope. In I go. But I offer my meager kindness, for those who wish may partake. Enjoy your weekend.

Beautiful. Thank you

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2 minutes ago, eso0402 said:

Beautiful. Thank you

Sent from my SM-G935F using BariatricPal App

you're very welcome sug.

And i, Hannah, am very glad to have met you and hope to be your friend now and in the future. Although our ages are very different I feel I can learn from you As much as I might be able teach and share wisdom with you. You feel like a turtle, well there are times I feel like an armidillo, rolling up in a ball for protection. But I am a survivor and I suspect you are also Lets get through this bariatric challenge as buddies, okay? ,,,, Frustr8

Hey Hannah

i have spent a bit of t8me here and mostly folks are kind, supportive. I don’t reckon I could be doing this without the good folks - keep being kind and they’ll find you!

I guess I've been lucky. I haven't seen or experienced many "mean" people on the site. Some are maybe diplomacy challenged or even quite blunt, but I don't think their intent is to disparage or insult. I think they take the time to respond to questions because they honestly want to help that person. Tough love is still love and, at least imo, support includes both positive and negative inputs.

All the same, there are a couple of people I've put on my "ignore user" list because I find them to be dependably offensive and consider them trolls. But, overall, I think there is a lot a value to be had in the forums.

Edited June 9, 20188 yr by Orchids&Dragons

12 hours ago, Hannah83 said:

It sounds off-putting, reading most of the forums honestly is off-putting, how does one even start to manoeuver through the swamp of disparaging topics with obvious solutions at best or unsolicited snarky advice at worse?

Yes a lot of us are at different stages in our journeys, most of us probably want to use our walking stick to wack some sense into someone else's skull but that is beside the point.

I didn't join this form for a wine fest, I joined for support.

I'll be damned if I'm going to be a 'keyboard warrior' stick hitting or an emotional punching bag for someone's idea of a grand get off.

I choose kindness, I choose to stick up for those other's will not. I choose loving myself where I am at now. With God's help, and a lot of locals here support I'll make it fine.

My name's Hannah J Capps, don't mind me much I love singing playing guitar and being my own self-advocate but also asking for help when I need it.

Mom has and always will be my biggest human support. I become lonely quite often, I have trouble voicing what is in my voice.

I was bullied online before it became chic. I was verbally hazed before it became an epidemic right alongside the opiate overdose epidemic and the rising suicide epidemic.

I'm sure self-mutilation is on the rise more so then when I last check the CDC statistic.

I'm coming to slowly know that a group of opinionated people who really just wish to dump and not help clean up afterward is what this forum is made of.

The few that are good-hearted, who take time to listen (or in this case read the text) are a rare thing. I've been beaten up too much socially to stick out my neck again.

I'm a turtle 'is it OK?' nope. In I go. But I offer my meager kindness, for those who wish may partake. Enjoy your weekend.

When I first joined this community, there was a member that I would see constantly insulting other members. I'm even going to say her name, because I'm not afraid to, Dreamingsmall. I hated her responses, and she was even called out by Alex numerous times that her behavior had to stop or she'd be banished. Anyway, the point to my story, is there are always someone who isn't tactful and is downright mean. However, like @Orchids&Dragons said in her comment, "Tough love is still love and, at least imo, support includes both positive and negative inputs." There is always a place for tough love. Most of the people on here aren't just "getting off", so to speak, on trolling posts looking for Ops who need a spanking. They are giving their honest advice because they have been through it and know what works. And in my personal experience, they NEED that tough love. I wish I could reach through the computer and shake the snot out of some of them. Sometimes what they are doing to themselves is down right dangerous and self sabotaging. The way I see it, is if we didn't care... we'd egg them on and encourage the bad behavior. I think we care so much that we type out PAGE long posts sometimes because we want to help. Because we want the OP to avoid the pain and heartache of failure.

16 hours ago, Hannah83 said:

It sounds off-putting, reading most of the forums honestly is off-putting, how does one even start to manoeuver through the swamp of disparaging topics with obvious solutions at best or unsolicited snarky advice at worse?

It’s too bad you feel this way. I’m unable to attend my monthly support group meeting most months at my local hospital due to my work schedule. I joined this site and started browsing the forums shortly before my surgery. I have learned so much from the other members here, and when able have tried to share things that may in turn be useful to others as well.

Have other members here had different opinions? Why sure. That is what part of makes this a nice place to get advice and suggestions. You are going to get multiple different outlooks and opinions on topics that are posted.

Have there been a few members that seemed a bit overly malicious as AshAsh stated? Yes. But on the whole, this is a community of people all struggling with a common problem and we all want to be healthy in the long run.

I think anytime you are posting on the internet you have to understand that if you ask for stranger’s advice, you may receive it in a more straightforward manner than you are used to. If you cannot emotionally handle the advice or opinions, you probably shouldn’t be asking for them or posting about it in an online forum.

That being said, I have mostly only seen people trying to help each other. I’m glad this site exists for those of us unable to reach out in real life to other bariatric patients.

Can I just say, you haven’t been by obesityhelp.com forums. Those are snarky and negative. This forum is the only one I have been to where people are pleasant and supportive.

I don’t know your experience here, I don’t read every topic, but it is important not to misinterpret people’s intentions. Like stated above, tough love is still love.

I might be misinterpreting, but thanks all for the responses. I'm not great at interpreting, to begin with.