So, here's a topic I know may anger some, but is there anyone else who can't stand when someone just assumes you're religious and offers to pray for you? As an atheist, I never presume to guess what anyone else's beliefs are and I don't go around telling random people there is no god, especially in a time of turmoil or crisis. So when I tell someone I'm having surgery, or about any other significant event, whether in person or online, how about a little common courtesy and not just assuming I believe as you do and leaving your religion out of it?

I'm not looking to debate the existence of god here, I'm just trying to get people to realize that other people believe differently than they do and to not make assumptions.

4 hours ago, proudgrammy said:

still not receiving

Use your F5 key every few minutes or do CTRL+R (Windows) or COMMAND+R (Apple) ... that will stop you not seeing recent posts ... they will update for you ASAP.

On 05/31/2018 at 04:11, elforman said:

So, here's a topic I know may anger some, but is there anyone else who can't stand when someone just assumes you're religious and offers to pray for you? As an atheist, I never presume to guess what anyone else's beliefs are and I don't go around telling random people there is no god, especially in a time of turmoil or crisis. So when I tell someone I'm having surgery, or about any other significant event, whether in person or online, how about a little common courtesy and not just assuming I believe as you do and leaving your religion out of it?

I'm not looking to debate the existence of god here, I'm just trying to get people to realize that other people believe differently than they do and to not make assumptions.

Amen, preach!

On 05/30/2018 at 14:11, elforman said:

So, here's a topic I know may anger some, but is there anyone else who can't stand when someone just assumes you're religious and offers to pray for you? As an atheist, I never presume to guess what anyone else's beliefs are and I don't go around telling random people there is no god, especially in a time of turmoil or crisis. So when I tell someone I'm having surgery, or about any other significant event, whether in person or online, how about a little common courtesy and not just assuming I believe as you do and leaving your religion out of it?

I'm not looking to debate the existence of god here, I'm just trying to get people to realize that other people believe differently than they do and to not make assumptions.

So, I’m currently in recovery, and while I was in the waiting room to go into surgery, one of the nurses said to a relative of another patient, “ don’t worry she’s in good hands” the guy responds “well that’s not up to you, she’s in God’s hands now” and I literally was like wtf?!?? I wholeheartedly agree with this as an atheist. I mean I don’t mind if people say they’ll pray for me, cause that’s they’re business, but what that guy said really pissed me off. We’re in the hands of the surgeons, nurses, and amazing surgical team. ❤️

17 minutes ago, miss_smiles said:

she’s in God’s hands now

Hocus Pocus BS.

Fictitious figments of imagination looping around in the clouds ain't determining anything for me.

1 hour ago, Rainbow_Warrior said:

F5 key every few minutes or do CTRL+R (Windows).. that will stop you not seeing recent posts ... they will update for you ASAP.

thanx bud

i've hit CTR+ R - how many times should I do

before your words of wisdom i rec'd a few posts

timed 4 hours ago. I'm sure your suggestion helped

thanx for responding

you are aces

kathy

Wow, for a support group there sure are a lot of closed minds here all suggesting I just ignore it. Were it that simple why would I bring it up here in the first place? Everyone here is saying that the ones offering to pray mean well, and I don’t dispute that.

I’m sure everyone is familiar with “The Golden Rule” that basically says “Treat others as you would want to be treated.” Well, you know what? That’s garbage. I’m not you. Chances are that I don’t want to be treated the same as you. If you don’t know me why would you make that assumption?

The rule should really be “Treat others as THEY would like to be treated.” That’s a common maxim in management and it applies to real life too. If you don't know the other person, don't assume anything.

If I am in a crisis, offering to pray for me is not consoling me. I don’t want religion brought up because I’m not religious and I don’t believe in any of it, and for someone to simply presume that is something I would want or appreciate during trying times is not being considerate of my feelings at all. I would never bring up my personal opinions when trying to console someone else and I am merely asking for the same courtesy.

Someone above also called me a “militant atheist” and that could not be further from the truth. I married into a very religious family and they all knew my feelings from the start. On our first date I told my wife I was an atheist and she told me that she was Jewish and would only consider getting married by a rabbi. (It was an historic first date.) I loved her so I agreed to get married by a rabbi, though we did find one who did the entire ceremony in English, did not talk about Israel or anything else explicitly religious during the ceremony and did not require me to wear a yarmulke, so everyone was satisfied with our compromise.

I am extremely tolerant of everyone’s beliefs no matter how misguided or ingrained I may believe they are. If you think I sound dismissive, I’d be happy to enlighten you to what it means to be an atheist in the United States or worse, places like the Middle East where it can be a death sentence. I would never ask anyone else to change their behavior to accommodate me and again I’d expect the same in return. I do believe in trying to effect change by setting a good example.

So again, all I have asked is why people can’t be more considerate of others and not make assumptions. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.

1 hour ago, Rainbow_Warrior said:

That will cause me to vomit on you or to have a moderately severe anaphylactic reaction.

It you start going into anaphylactic shock, I will be sure to pray for you.

1 hour ago, miss_smiles said:

So, I’m currently in recovery, and while I was in the waiting room to go into surgery, one of the nurses said to a relative of another patient, “ don’t worry she’s in good hands” the guy responds “well that’s not up to you, she’s in God’s hands now” and I literally was like wtf?!?? I wholeheartedly agree with this as an atheist. I mean I don’t mind if people say they’ll pray for me, cause that’s they’re business, but what that guy said really pissed me off. We’re in the hands of the surgeons, nurses, and amazing surgical team. ❤️

True story. My son was 13 and in Children's Hospital due to severe migraines caused by fibromyalgia. A rabbi came to the room to see if he could be of any service. I've got what would be considered a "jewish" sounding last name and going by visual stereotypes, people assume I'm jewish as well, same applies to my son. Note that I checked him in and at no point did they ask about religion but somehow my son was listed as jewish in their system. I had that corrected.

Anyway, the rabbi comes in and asks my son how he's doing. My son was in pain so he just mumbled something unintelligible. The rabbi, just trying to make conversation said "You look like you're thirteen, have you had your bar mitzvah yet?"

My son says "No."

Rabbi said "So you're preparing for it?"

My son says "No, I'm not having one."

Rabbi, taken aback asks "Why not?"

And my son, of whom I could not be prouder, says "Because my father loves me."

Oh yeah, hope the recovery goes well and you have an excellent staff regardless of their condescension...

Edited May 31, 20188 yr by elforman

6 hours ago, proudgrammy said:

i agree, you should not say merry christmas

or happy hannukah to everyone. there are

other religious days too - should not assume.

I always will say happy holidays, happy new year

there are OP that might not appreciate

those phrases either- oh well, can't please all the

people all the time

kathy

During the holiday season if I'm not sure what someone believes and celebrates, if anything, I say "Happy Groundhog Day." If they point out that it's a month away i just tell them I'm getting a big head start, then they just walk away confused...

8 hours ago, elforman said:

So, here's a topic I know may anger some, but is there anyone else who can't stand when someone just assumes you're religious and offers to pray for you? As an atheist, I never presume to guess what anyone else's beliefs are and I don't go around telling random people there is no god, especially in a time of turmoil or crisis. So when I tell someone I'm having surgery, or about any other significant event, whether in person or online, how about a little common courtesy and not just assuming I believe as you do and leaving your religion out of it?

I'm not looking to debate the existence of god here, I'm just trying to get people to realize that other people believe differently than they do and to not make assumptions.

You are making the assumption that people are offering to pray to a god or their god for you. Often times people say that they will pray for you meaning that they will be thinking positive thoughts and HOPING for a positive outcome.

3 minutes ago, elforman said:

Someone above also called me a “militant atheist” and that could not be further from the truth.

That was me! That was me! Look, I say it in jest, mainly because of how heavy this thread was getting. But you also need to realize how you come off when you say “impossible” and other such things. It’s combative. And in a world full of religious it’s gonna draw ire.

It’s frustrating to be sure, navigating a world were your beliefs are in the minority’s. Hence the rant in rant section. But I am reminded of one of my favorite quotes here—- he who angers you conquers you. So if I treat this with a light touch and advise you to say thanks and move on it’s because these people mean you no harm. If they start laying hands on you and preaching, have at ‘em. But a throw away line they probably said to the bagger at the check out with a hangnail ten minutes before they got to you—-eh. Again. Friendly advice from someone that understands

Love your avatar btw.

Thank you elforman...
I actually have been in other support sites (not wls) and was overwhelmed by so many requests for prayers..... not just for themselves .....not just for family. also: other relatives neighbors, friends , victims, and plenty more.
. I mentioned it was not meant to be a prayer circle and got some feedback similar to yours!! Over and over
I eventually left.

Ps. Don’t leave

Well Rainbow Warrior-- I am thankful to have you As a friend and mentor.

1 hour ago, YeahOkay31 said:

That was me!

Sorry about that. I went out to run errands for a few hours and read two dozen or so comments when I came back and they kind of all blurred together after a while. I understand your perspective, and believe me, in non-distressing situations I laugh it off or ignore it without a second thought. But during stressful situations it seems to me a little more consideration of others is warranted.