So, here's a topic I know may anger some, but is there anyone else who can't stand when someone just assumes you're religious and offers to pray for you? As an atheist, I never presume to guess what anyone else's beliefs are and I don't go around telling random people there is no god, especially in a time of turmoil or crisis. So when I tell someone I'm having surgery, or about any other significant event, whether in person or online, how about a little common courtesy and not just assuming I believe as you do and leaving your religion out of it?

I'm not looking to debate the existence of god here, I'm just trying to get people to realize that other people believe differently than they do and to not make assumptions.

20 minutes ago, 2shea said:

If someone's biggest gripe/rant or rave in life is that someone says' bless you' or 'I'll pray for you', they indeed have a wonderful life.

Best to worry about the things you can control and the things that you can't control let them go, makes for a less stressful life.

Where did I ever say it was my biggest gripe? I did say it was a irritant during stressful times and that people should be more considerate of people they're trying to console. Nothing more, nothing less. Is there any particular reason you read more into it?

17 minutes ago, Laughing Bird said:

How can I get this thread to not show up in my timeline or trending feeds? I’m tired of seeing this

At the top of the page is a purple/pinkish box that says "following" with a checkmark to the left of it. Click that and you'll see options to reduce or eliminate the number of notifications you get for the thread. Note that's on a web browser, I don't know about doing it through the app.

I dunno... as an atheist I can’t see why prayers would offend you. To you they’re just well wishes. To the believe they’re prayer. Can’t imagine being offended by someone wishing me well.

16 minutes ago, andirm said:

Can’t imagine being offended by someone wishing me well.

It CAN be wishing well ... the first time it happens.

But, when the person is soon told politely that you have no truck with religion(s)/deities, it becomes either rude or a form of proselytising ... and that is not fair.

Imposing unwanted views or ways of life on others is an act of rudeness if one persists when aware of the other's preferences.

In my country, belief in a christian church (or christian pursuits) has dropped from over 85% in 1945 to barely 20% in 2016 (our last census). So, it's very wrong of the few christians to think they can impose on other people who are NON-BELIEVERS or who belong to non-christian faiths!

They don't offend me.

It doesn't offend me when someone says they'll rub chrystals and burn sage for me, either....but I think it's just as pointless and makes me wish they'd do something productive instead.

Two hands working to solve a problem get a hell of a lot more done than a thousand clasped in prayer.

Prayers often become an excuse not to act when action is needed.

If you care? Do something.

Wow. OP, I get it. I am a Christian, and oftentimes will say praying for you. Though I appreciate prayers etc. I also must respect your preference.

3 minutes ago, Creekimp13 said:

They don't offend me.

It doesn't offend me when someone says they'll rub chrystals and burn sage for me, either....but I think it's just as pointless and makes me wish they'd do something productive instead.

Two hands working to solve a problem get a hell of a lot more done than a thousand clasped in prayer.

Prayers often become an excuse not to act when action is needed.

If you care? Do something.

Reminds me of one of my favorite scenes from Futurama:

Fry: So that's my story, Father Changstein El-Gamal. Is there anything religion can do to help me find my friend?
Father Changstein El-Gamal: Well, we could join together in prayer.
Fry: Uh-huh. But is there anything useful we can do?
Father Changstein El-Gamal: No.

I was at work once after a higher-up told everyone at a full company meeting that she had cancer and would be taking time off for treatment. Someone offered to lead a prayer and several agreed to join in. I said nothing, but while they were praying I took out my phone, made a quick donation to the American Cancer Society. Once everyone filed out I showed the receipt on my phone to the person with cancer and said "I don't pray, I act." That little $20 brought her to tears. She recovered just fine and when she came back to applause at the first such meeting after her return she thanked everyone as a group but singled me out for actually doing something.

7 minutes ago, Brigette said:

Wow. OP, I get it. I am a Christian, and oftentimes will say praying for you. Though I appreciate prayers etc. I also must respect your preference.

Thank you. That's the only point I've been trying to make.

And you know...it cuts both ways.

If i'm with a religous friend and they want to pray for something, or it's an event with religion included, a funeral, wedding, etc.....and people are praying....I'll bow my head and quietly be polite. I will outwardly honor their traditions so I'm not disruptive......particularly when they are in crisis and need support.

When people need support...support them! Don't interject a faith they don't share. I'm not gonna go to a Christian funeral and read Dawkins and expect to be thanked for it.

I'm going to give a hug, be sympathetic, and not disrupt their rituals or things that give them comfort.

At my own funeral....I hope someone reads this: And I hope no one prays. Not even a little.

We are going to die, and that makes us the lucky ones. Most people are never going to die because they are never going to be born. The potential people who could have been here in my place but who will in fact never see the light of day outnumber the sand grains of Arabia. Certainly those unborn ghosts include greater poets than Keats, scientists greater than Newton. We know this because the set of possible people allowed by our DNA so massively exceeds the set of actual people. In the teeth of these stupefying odds it is you and I, in our ordinariness, that are here. We privileged few, who won the lottery of birth against all odds, how dare we whine at our inevitable return to that prior state from which the vast majority have never stirred?

Richard Dawkins

Edited June 2, 20188 yr by Creekimp13

I’m really glad you raised this topic. Thank you for sharing how you feel. I would tend to agree with folks on this thread who feel that perhaps you may consider turning your energy into positive energy by understanding that this is how they show support. If they didn’t care for you, they would not say anything.

It is their faith prompting prayer, they are not trying to move you in any direction except a thoughtful, caring direction.

Take their gift of love, accept that it is love, and throw away the stuff that makes you uncomfortable.

This world is filled with people who spew lots of negativity. I do not feel these folks are intentionally trying to upset you. Put your emotional health first by turning what they say into a warm hug. Your health is far too valuable to allow negative thoughts to be absorbed into your body, mind, and soul. Protect your well being. We have to fight hard everyday to stay healthy and your thoughts on this topic will zap your energy.

You are correct, of course. No one knows your faith or lack thereof. They simply want to give you a hug and that’s the best way they know how.

I appreciate you making me think about this topic. Thank you for that gift.

Why do I have to have enough sense not to say anything that doubts faith when they're in crisis (and I don't because I'm not an asshat)....but they can piss on my beliefs all they like when I'm in crisis and it's "a gift"?

That's insane.

I get it...prayer comforts THEM.

That's not a hug for me...that's them masturbating in front of me.

it's offputting as hell.

Edited June 2, 20188 yr by Creekimp13

3 hours ago, Rainbow_Warrior said:

n my country, belief in a christian church (or christian pursuits) has dropped from over 85% in 1945 to barely 20% in 2016 (our last census). So, it's very wrong of the few christians to think they can impose on other people who are NON-BELIEVERS or who belong to non-christian faiths!

http://www.abs.gov.au/AUSSTATS/abs@.nsf/mediareleasesbyReleaseDate/7E65A144540551D7CA258148000E2B85

52% identified as Christian, 30% identified as no religion.

I was brought up Catholic, I don't go to church unless its a wedding, christianing or funeral, I don't count myself as being particularly religious and haven't done so for a long time. It's been over 40 years since I went to confession or took communion, but if someone told me they were having a mass said for me or saying a prayer for, I would thank them and go on my way.

I actually think there should be (more) religious classes in schools, but not sit down and study the bible or the koran ( or whatever the font of knowledge for any particular religtion), but learn about the different religions, what the beliefs are etc, even study agnosticism and atheist, learn about evolution and the contra view. Let people make up their minds themselves by giving them enough information to appreciate other points of view and to then further investigate any particular religion or otherwise should they wish to. Hopefully this would lead to more tolerance of people's differences in their beliefs. Tolerance needs to work all ways.

I think parents who push their own beliefs on their children regardless whether it's religious, atheist or agnosticism do their children a disservice. To not give them the information regarding other points of view leads to intolerance and fairly narrow points of view.

Edited June 2, 20188 yr by 2shea

6 hours ago, elforman said:

Where did I ever say it was my biggest gripe?

I wasn't necessarily referring to you, but in general.

@Creekimp13 I don't like your references in your last post.

Of course you don't. Because it's an honest illustration of how nonreligious people experience unwanted prayers.

When someone prays for me...it's not for me. It's for them. They're self soothing, self pleasuring, self gratifying. They are taking something very private and making it public. And they're doing it in front of me, or directing it at me...and it's a just plain creepy and unwanted.

I am not trying to piss on religion, or people who have good intentions. And I'm not asking anyone to stop being religious.

The question was how nonreligious people experience prayer and why they'd be bothered by it. I explained how I feel. And yes..I really truly and honestly feel like you're doing something creepy when you say you're praying for me, particularly in times of crisis.......like I've just been flashed or something. it's an unwanted intimate gesture directed at someone who does not share your belief in it or your attraction to it. It FEELS like a violation. A flasher thinks he's giving you a gift, too...but he's not. He's showing you something private that you you don't want and don't want to see.

Aim your faith elsewhere...please. I don't like it. I don't want it. Please leave me out of your religious practices.

If you MUST pray for the nonfaithful......why not just shut up about it and do it without grandstanding and announcing it?

Not only are you doing this thing that I find absurd and creepy...you're announcing it and expecting to be thanked!

I don't appreciate your prayers.

I don't want them any more than I want a power chrystal or for you to sacrifice a chicken for me.

I don't think you're awful. I don't think your religion is awful and I do think you should be able to practice it. Just leave me out of it!

Some people don't value prayer and don't believe in God/s. We're allowed.

So, kindly knock it off.

No means no.

Edited June 2, 20188 yr by Creekimp13